Relationship advice. Male question.

[TheNaze73]

Good morning people, I just needed a female perspective on something that is troubling me to see if I'm being unreasonable....

I'm Gareth, 42 from Northern England. I have been dating, my girlfriend of 51 now for 18 months & I don't think we're moving forward.

I do everything for her, try to be the best boyfriend that I can be, yet it feels like it's going nowhere. I do all her maintenance stuff around the house, take her on holidays, try to be as supportive as possible, give her space etc, yet after 18 months, we see each other for a couple of hours in the week & again at the weekend. Am I being unreasonable in wanting more? I don't expect to be waited upon, get involved with stuff & think I'm low maintenance. We've talked about a future together yet, nothing seems to be happening. Whenever I try talking to her, she shushes me as she's watching Tv. Do you think I should:

A) Get out and move on?
B) Stick it out?
C) Something else?

I'd not normally put up with this however, I do love her. Thoughts???

Gareth

Personally I think 18 months is too soon for a relationship where you don't see much of each other and where she has DDs at home and a son getting married. A red flag for me would be a refusal to discuss it in depth, so I think you should mention your concerns to her (at a time when she's not distracted by the TV!) and try and get an idea of what she really wants from the relationship.

it is fairly weird to be thinking about/wanting marriage with someone you can't even have a normal, honest conversation with?

it makes me wonder if you're seeing her as a trophy potential wife rather than a human being with her own needs and thoughts, and it's this lack of authenticity/connection which is the issue.

i'm fairly physically attractive (to some men) and i've dated plenty of guys who seriously want to progress things.

the impression you get is they want A Woman Who Looks Like This and then if I don't follow their timeline, they'll go hunt for another.

incidentally, if i ever suggest doing things i genuinely like which could progress into shared interests, they treat it like its a massive fucking favour they are even paying attention to it?

it's 2016. a man isn't entitled to marry who he likes because he can do his own laundry and isn't an arsehole.

and the "right i'll dump her tomorrow" sounds very knee-jerk. You talk of "love", but it sounds like you don't even like her.

Really appreciate everyone's thoughts & interest, it has been most helpful.

Take her out to dinner where theres no distractions and talk!!

She's just not that in to you. She ''shushes'' you !!

But then, why do YOU want to marry somebody you're not happy with, not close to?

this is about irrelationships

Ooh not dinner out
Harder to say what you really think in public
Plus if both parties lose appetite, waste of money!

Even I'm not so devoted to my TV that I can't make time to talk but OP does need to do the whole "we need to talk" thing to get it in the diary so to speak.

Lorelei you are right... just doesnt sound like being at her house she would talk.. but point taken about being in public...