Court tomorrow

[ConfusedNoMore]

Hello

I don't know if anyone remembers my posts. I was ConfusedNc. Posted a lot over last couple of years.

EA stbxh ended marriage in 2014. Changed the locks. Made me and ds homeless. This was in middle of most stressful job interview, but I miraculously managed to get job .

X has been the most amazingly narcissistic bully and frankly, idiot. Tomorrow I finally see him in court.

All feels bit surreal.

Just after a bit of a last hurrah before battle from anyone who remembers me. Wellwhoknew was going through it around same time everything kicked off for me. I am hoping to channel her and the formidiblemrsc and all of you women fucked over by a selfish lying manchild, and stand up for myself and my boy. Wwk was just an inspiration in her court case.

Lots of you helped me figure my head out in my darkest times. I'm doing OK but hope I'm ready for what's about to happen. Thanks if you've read this far. Sorry if I'm being a bit self indulgent.

Feels like the calm before the storm.

I think it's safe to say that WWK and Confused were on the wine last night . WWK turns into Pam Ayres in the middle of the night it seems........!!!!!

Confused, hope you had a fab night out and you're not suffering this morning. Look forward to hearing your news

Morning!

Cough...ahem..glad you laughed at my drunken post. Yesterday when I finally woke up, I remembered posting..just not what I posted. Could've been worse!

Such a weird few days. I wasn't nervous until I was driving to court and then I was really shakey.

Comedy moment as I walked in. Xhtb (need a more affectionate name like Mr snowy white or wank badger....how about unhinged thunder cunt?) Was stood waiting at ushers desk to sign in.

All the signs tell you this is what you have to do but I knew it as the usher's lunch break so didn't want to queue behind UTC. I walked around the back of him, so he didn't clock me and sat down at a table in the far corner. As luck would have it, I'd inadvertently sat down behind his solicitor.

He eventually gives up waiting for usher and spots his solicitor. He's walking towards us as it's dawned on me so I start to get up. UTC gives solicitor massive smile which fell into an enraged grimace as he sees me getting up. "I'll move!" I say walking past him as he gives me evil death stare, so bad that a lady at another table sat open mouthed having seen it all. 'Husband' I whisper ax I go past then she declares 'me too!'. So I had 10 minute chin wag with this lovely lady whose own UTC is sat a few feet away plotting how to avoid sharing his vast wealth with her after dumping her for new model after 20 years...

Since UTC quit his job, and didn't pay the mortgage relying instead on using up our overpayment reserve, all my original hopes of him buying me out went.

(He is in the former marital home. I am renting tiny house, costing more than the mortgage, with our 4 year old son and the dog). UTC changed the locks, made noises about moving out when he ended our marriage, but never meant it. He's utterly selfish, controlling, game playing, abusive narcissist you see.)

I made peace with leaving our house behind and had hoped for new start. That then looked less and less likely, and indeed solicitor has been talking about us getting house back.

Well, last minute offer before court was to give me half equity as he has mortgage offer! On the form e, his declared earnings were 6k!!!

Anyway lots of back and forth between solicitors about what we wanted in our questionnaire. Judge just rubber stamped it and that was it.

....

I'd got my head around getting house back, even thought about how I'd change it and then solicitor started saying she thought I'd be better getting lump sum ( we rejected the half the equity off straight away.That would be less than the money I, and I alone, put into the house deposit in first place).

So I have to find peace with this being up in air until march.

If the mortgage in principle he has is bullshit and he can't raise money to buy me out, then maybe I'll be going back to house.

If he can raise it, then maybe I'll be trying to find somewhere new.

I was devastated Thursday afternoon. Felt like everyone else was playing a game with my life and enjoying it. That despite all his disgusting behaviour, it comes down to a few grand and he might still end up with the house. Court is not about vindication.

It is cold and clinical despite there being a ton of emotional consequences.

Still I felt fine Friday. Weirdly! Saw my counsellor, went to work, had cuddles with my beautiful boy before UTC collected him and had stonking night out with friend.

I have a good life now. That's the vindication. This shit will end. UTC can fuck off with his horrible mother and unstable gf and play silly games. I will plod off into the metaphoric sunset with my gorgeous boy, amazing friends and farting dog

This was bit epic. if you've been arsed to read my ramblings.

Epic is good. Rambling is permitted. Good luck in Phase 2.

Confused, you've done so incredibly well and handled yourself with such aplomb in court, the inevitable confrontations are bloody awful. I had OW in the courtroom, very stressful. You know, this shit will end, you're at the beginning of a phase of your "journey", sorting out the finances is stressful and crap really, but totally necessary. Next time he looks at you like you're something he's scraped off his shoe, return the favour...this man was happy to see you and your son homeless and on the streets. He is not a "man", he is a vile piece of shit who doesn't deserve anything. I sincerely hope you get the house. However, the way you have picked yourself up and gone on is amazing, it really is.

I also love your farting dog.

Please keep updating and shout if you need any help

Confused hope the head's ok today. March will come around quick enough, and it gets quite busy in the run-up to the FDR. Hopefully all will be resolved then.

I'm interested to know that he has a mortgage in principle, yet you say he quit his job. That sounds.... not possible.

So pleased for you that you have a life with DS and farting dog (I left my marriage with one of those!)

I have a good life now. That's the vindication. This shit will end.

And in the end, this is what really matters.

You know what confused - I'm still knocking around, doing my shit. As MrsC says "Please keep updating and shout if you need any help".

MrsC and I are a comedic double act - but pretty experienced at the seriousness of divorce.

Do PM if you need some of our experience. KOKO.

Hey well...it's Friday night. Bit of a wobble yesterday. He's been'nice' this week which messes with my brain. But then ,as dad pointed out, nice isn't the same as the absence of nasty!

So , skived a bit today. Had a nap and now, here I am, tipsy on red wine again.

Dog still farting.

Koko.

Ah yes. MrsC and WWK. The world famous "Pineapple Sisters" 🍍🍍

Rock-a-Hula Babies!!!

Hey confused.

Imbibe some pineapple. Feel formidable as a result. I used to be nice. I'm cool with being nasty.

Then kick some arse.

You're doing okay. All things considered.

WWK

🐕 💨 thanks wwk. X

Ha ha at Across, I've just caught up with this

Hope you're OK Confused, take no notice of the nice, because when he has another mood swing you'll end up with whiplash...

Here if you need us! KOKO

Things haven taken a spectacular turn but not sure I can post here. I may nc and put on the other place for safety but won't be till later.

I'm exhausted. Got fdr date through for around easter too. But this is something else.

Should say ds and I are both ok.

I take it its not good spectacular?

Fingers crossed that you can sort whatever it is.

No, very not good. I'm and have no idea how to navigate it. All official advice has just said it's my call.

I've realised that makes no sense at all without context. Sorry

Can you PM me if you post elsewhere Confused, I am rubbish at navigation, especially with name changes. Here when you're ready

I've posted in the other place under new name. I'll pm you mrsc and wwk . thanks if anyone can read. It's long.

Do PM when you get a mo. I've a couple of free days coming up.

WWK

Today is the FDR.

No longer trying to get the house back due to his 'activities' in it. The consequences of that are rumbling on. (It's way too sensitive and identifying to put here but I did have thread in other place about it.)

Anyway I have a barrister today. No idea how it'll go. Can't predict anything in battle with crazy person.

I'll post later.

Deep breathes and good luck.