Curious to hear what people think about this. I'm a fully paid up feminist and fully in favour in theory in women taking the lead in affairs of the heart or loins. I'm fairly newly single after a ten year relationship and dipping a toe into OLD and wondering if a) the etiquette allows and b) there's any point sending a message to a man you like the look of cold if he hasn't already got in touch.
The reason I ask is that in real life my experience is that whatever the theory, the practice is that the fastest way to make a man run is to initiate or chase. I've not once in 20 years of sexual/romantic activity had a positive response from being the initiator other than those who were interested in one night stands. In my experience men hate being chased and as OLD is pretty brutal my guess is that its even worse there when you don't even have the advantages of sexual chemistry and personality.
Am I being old fashioned or am I just much less attractive than I have always thought? And is it OK to message men on OLD?