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Original poster

Non-manly DP?

74 replies

roeG · 17/12/2006 22:07

sorry for the name change but I dont want people to know who I am.

I have a few issues with my dp that are silently winding me up but they seem so petty compared to what other people put up with but its making me not be attracted to him anymore.

Ive always liked 'manly' men, rough around the edges type but dp is very quiet, sensitive etc. all that is ok, he's kind and treats me well but as I say hes very unmanly. For instance he says he cant eat beef as he cant chew it i found this odd but obviously just let it go, not worth arguing about but earlier this year he needed to go the dentist and he had to be sedated just so he could be treated as he was so scared, i did get annoyed at this but then some people do have genuine fear of dentists but theres other things like almost passing out at the sight of blood, shaking like a leaf when the doctor was treating his ears as he has 'sensitive ears' and hes so picky about his food too, will pull faces if I cook certain veg and when we have meat he sits there cutting all the fat off etc before eating it, its like living with another kid. am I over-reacting and should I be more sympathetic or is he behaving like a little girl?

What kind of man cant chew beef??

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 17/12/2006 22:36

people's mothers can be dreadful and say really stupid stuff

I think my own mother said 'aren't you clever' to us both when i was first pg

but we didn't split up over it

ClementClarkeMoore · 17/12/2006 22:37

This is a wind up, who eats beef at this time of year. This is gobbling season.

Caroligula · 17/12/2006 22:37

pmsl you've been on the bringing down the tone thread

shosha · 17/12/2006 22:40

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 17/12/2006 22:41

Sportacus
David Starkey
Caveman

Caroligula · 17/12/2006 22:45

LOL at Caveman

DeepPannCrispandEven · 17/12/2006 23:17

FFS. MN at it's best.....

You've 'gone off him'..it happens. But regaling the www with his difficulties in mastication is bollocks.

I don't eat meat (man here), and when I did I cut the fat offa it, for reasons mentioned below. I too have 'sensitive ears'....a wonderful source of entertainment. And yet am considered a very 'manly man' in lots of other ways.

' he treats me well..' - probably more than your disloyalty and empty-headedness deserve.

In my very humble opinion........

drummumadrumming · 17/12/2006 23:23

OMG.... do you think roeG could be.. your wife!

DeepPannCrispandEven · 17/12/2006 23:27

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not an effing chance.

drummumadrumming · 17/12/2006 23:29

...

Tortington · 17/12/2006 23:32

what do you like about him exactly? i think this is important.

yes indeed mumsnet at its best - all the expected how dare you answers.

i like manly men. big men. i like to feel protected. i like to feel my family is protected.

my dh doesn't like dentist. if anyone goes near his eyes he would go ballistic. but backbone he has.

is it backbone you really mean?

is it becuase you think the real matriarch is your MIL?

is your fella a sop? a pushover? no balls?

Caroligula · 18/12/2006 13:16

Am now wondering about the attractions of the masticationally-challenged non-beef-man. Well? Have you decided what you like about him roeG? Are you going to tell us?

NOELallie · 18/12/2006 13:28

Don't think it's the unmanly thing that would get to me - sounds like he's behaving like a self-centered primadonna whose behaviour would be irritating from anyone. The world doesn't revolved around him FFS!!! Grrr...if my 7 yr old was like this she'd get pretty short shrift.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 18/12/2006 13:30

I honestly can't see anything in the OP that would elicit such anger. What is it? Is it the cutting fat off his meat, or the not liking the sight of blood? I wouldn't be annoyed with a child for those things either! Am I missing something?

NOELallie · 18/12/2006 13:38

The pulling faces at meals really got to me. How rude and childish! I expect my children to eat what they are given (assuming I don't feed them poison) and what happens at other people's houses?

But the other things too to a lesser extent - mere irritants though in comparison. Being an adult means coping with everything that life throws at you and not expecting everyone to make allowances for you all the time. Doesn't it?

Caroligula · 18/12/2006 13:39

Bad example to children as well, making faces at food

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 18/12/2006 13:41

You wouldn't want me in your house then. I cut fat off my meat and I don't like leathery beef.

WigWamBam · 18/12/2006 13:42

My dh hates the dentist and faints at the sight of blood. We can't even watch Casualty without him coming over all peculiar. He doesn't like certain vegetables either ... so I don't cook them for him, and that way he can't pull faces at them and I don't get uppity about it.

But I wouldn't dream of calling him unmanly. Being manly has nothing to do with not liking the dentist - it's about looking after his family, treating us well, being there for me and dd. It has nothing to do with not liking the fat on meat or being squeamish about blood.

Is the real problem here the fat on his meat, or the fact that he's still hanging onto his mother's apron strings and needs to assert his own independence from her?

sleepycat · 18/12/2006 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NOELallie · 18/12/2006 13:44

"Is the real problem here the fat on his meat, or the fact that he's still hanging onto his mother's apron strings and needs to assert his own independence from her? "

Well...exactly. And as I said earlier it's not a question of being 'unmanly'.

WhenSantaWentQuietlyMad · 18/12/2006 13:50

Love this thread, especially the chewing beef.

Imagine Relate sessions "Well, he just doesn't chew beef like a man - gristle, fat and all - he picks it off like a 9 year old girl"

Mmmm - challenge for the Relate counsellor to phrase that tactfully in the debrief.

meowmix · 18/12/2006 13:50

tell him to cook from now on if he doesn't like the food you prepare. Its annoying you because you let it.

SpeccieSeccie · 18/12/2006 13:54

roeG - How about printing off this thread and leaving it on the kitchen table? That way he can see what effect being such a drip is having on you. And he can draw some support from the more vegetarian responses!

FWIW, I think all the quivvering dentist/doctor stuff is pretty understandable. The food-thing and MiL stuff though... a different story! Awful!

Caroligula · 18/12/2006 13:55

Bit of a risk to print it off.

Although I guess he could take the hint and develop an addiction to cunnilingus if he wants to carry on with his unsatisfactory mastication techniques.

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