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Relationships

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Original poster

Non-manly DP?

74 replies

roeG · 17/12/2006 22:07

sorry for the name change but I dont want people to know who I am.

I have a few issues with my dp that are silently winding me up but they seem so petty compared to what other people put up with but its making me not be attracted to him anymore.

Ive always liked 'manly' men, rough around the edges type but dp is very quiet, sensitive etc. all that is ok, he's kind and treats me well but as I say hes very unmanly. For instance he says he cant eat beef as he cant chew it i found this odd but obviously just let it go, not worth arguing about but earlier this year he needed to go the dentist and he had to be sedated just so he could be treated as he was so scared, i did get annoyed at this but then some people do have genuine fear of dentists but theres other things like almost passing out at the sight of blood, shaking like a leaf when the doctor was treating his ears as he has 'sensitive ears' and hes so picky about his food too, will pull faces if I cook certain veg and when we have meat he sits there cutting all the fat off etc before eating it, its like living with another kid. am I over-reacting and should I be more sympathetic or is he behaving like a little girl?

What kind of man cant chew beef??

OP posts:

dara · 17/12/2006 22:26

I don't think she expects him to eat the fat, but just not sit there prissily trimming it for ages before condescending to eat anything. I do understand. I cringe at wussy, picky, prissy behaviour myself. I also hate coarse humour. Yes, it's probably very unfair indeed, but you can't always help what you find sexually unattractive. How long have you been together, roeG? Has he got worse? What are the things that still attract you to him?

Cappuccino · 17/12/2006 22:27

snort @ 'He can't just grow a beard and start spitting'

but maybe he can try

UCM · 17/12/2006 22:27

Caroligula

NotQuiteCockney · 17/12/2006 22:27

Hmm, isn't the whole "manly" thing a bit of a front, hiding a big puddingy sort of person really? Seriously, I'm not convinced any man is "manly" if you know him well.

(I don't tend to go for manly men, but my dad absolutely was one, but he still had and has his soft spots, like anyone else!)

That being said, the food thing sounds annoying, it's not worth cooking for someone if they're going to whinge and fuss.

It probably doesn't help his fears and worries, having such an unsuportive and dismissive partner.

SnafuOutOfHiding · 17/12/2006 22:27

And, btw, my father - all 6' 4", 18 stone, rugby-playing brick-shithouse of him, had to be sedated at the dentist's just last week, and was shaking like a leaf when I dropped him off.

morningpaper · 17/12/2006 22:28

You could buy him a motorbike and cover him in leather

It's hard to be girly in that situation

hoolagirl · 17/12/2006 22:28

Maybe she should get a syringe and give him an injection of testoterone whilst he sleeps every night..

7swansaswimmingup · 17/12/2006 22:28

roeg, dont be offended by the comments, its only a laugh but if youre genuinly upset about his behaviour then its probably not what you want to read.

would like to know how long youve been together though

Caroligula · 17/12/2006 22:28

Do you suggest a handlebar moustache to go with that, MP?

morningpaper · 17/12/2006 22:29

I like a man who walks into the room and has a big manly PRESENCE

They've either got it or they haven't

NotQuiteCockney · 17/12/2006 22:29

My dad was a firefighter, really severely butch, yadda yadda yadda, and hated dentists, and got really upset whenever an animal had to be put down.

colditz · 17/12/2006 22:29

I do know what she means, one of my friends eats her dinner in a way that makes me want to take it off her and give it to the dog.

UCM · 17/12/2006 22:29

It must be nice to have a sensitive man who can show sympathy at period pains/pregnancy/general feelings & stuff instead of a 'hairy arsed builder' who looks uncomfortable and turns the tv on when you mention feelings.

morningpaper · 17/12/2006 22:29

Caroligua you are confusing MANLY with SPORTACUS

NotQuiteCockney · 17/12/2006 22:29

Hmmm ... my architect wears leather and rides a motorbike, but is still as gay as a box of frogs.

beef · 17/12/2006 22:29

He was round here Saturday night - he can chew beef alright

Caroligula · 17/12/2006 22:30

Yeah it's a presence thing.

Apart from leather (and possibly handlebar moustache) I'm with MP on this one.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 17/12/2006 22:30

I cut the fat off my meat before I eat it too - I can't think of any reason why I would want to sit and eat the unreconstituted slimy white body fat of another creature. DH cuts it off for me these days, because he loves me and it's nice that we know each other's preferences and take care of them. I cook his bacon so the fat goes crispy because I know he likes it.

What comes across is that the OP doesn't like her dp - doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the poor man, she just doesn't like him! I feel sorry for him.

morningpaper · 17/12/2006 22:30

UCM it is not just CAVEMAN or David Starkey

There is a great deal of middle ground

drummumadrumming · 17/12/2006 22:31

This thread has really made me laugh (sorry roeG)
LOL at what kind of man can't chew beef and a round of cunnilingus every night....
Bless him... has he always been like this?

Caroligula · 17/12/2006 22:31

What is sportacus?

But being manly isn't about not being able to talk about periods is it?

Original poster

roeG · 17/12/2006 22:32

He was an only child and very pampered by his mother until he was in his 40's, even now she does it, baking for him etc. When I got Pregnant she said to him "who's a clever boy then?" seriously! I can imagine him as a child having his meat cut up into tiny pieces by her etc and I think that's what causes the babyish behaviour now which in a way makes it worse.

It never used to bother me when it was just the beef thing but when all these different examples started coming together it has turned into one huge annoyance.

OP posts:

SnafuOutOfHiding · 17/12/2006 22:32

ROFL at 'caveman or David Starkey'

Oh this thread is making me giggle. I like a nice sensitive chap. But prissy and picky about food is off-putting, I agree.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 17/12/2006 22:33

...I mean if he's cooked he cuts the fat off mine when he serves it, he doesn't sit at the table cutting my dinner up for me

morningpaper · 17/12/2006 22:35

"Who's a clever boy then"

How long have you been together?

What ATTRACTED you to him?

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