Were do I start. H told me in Oct that he has found it very hard to love me over the last few months after I called him out on his distant behaviour with me.
20 months ago when ds2 was days old our 3 year old dd died very unexpectedly, since her death his grief has consumed him and he has been very negative towards me with comments like 'I clearly loved our dd more as I'm grieving more than you' I am grieving but I have to do it in private away from ds1 as he was 5 when this happened and he gets utterly distraught when he sees me cry. H thinks I have moved on, he thinks that we can't possibly be happy ever again.
In August I had ds3, I had the most horrid pregnancy and was nearly wheelchair bound with spd, h never lifted a finger to help with ds2 who was 17 months old when ds3 arrived by section, he admitted yesterday that ds3 was a band aid baby and that he had hoped for a girl.
H is very much a glass is half empty character, if there are 10 positives and 1 negative he will zone in on the negative and wallow openly. We have tried counselling and I felt things were going well, we were making plans for this year and then yesterday he tells me he doesn't love me anymore.
I asked him to leave and spelt it out in no uncertain terms what a selfish emotionally abusive arsehole he has been to me since dd's death, and what is now going to happen, divorce and house sale. he left in tears, physical sobbing begging to stay. He has had a breakdown and is suffering from severe depression but won't go to the drs for help, thing is I'm also suffering from the same but am on ads, I have allowed his behaviour because I and all our friends know this is not him and divorce would be the biggest mistake of his life but he just keeps on digging his hole deeper and shunning any help.
Thing is I am a sahm, have been for 5 years, no qualifications, he's a very high earner. I'm frightened, I don't know how I'm going to live, if I'm entitled to anything. H has destroyed our family unit, I told him that not only has he lost his dd he's now lost the rest of us.