Death sentence

[Summon3r]

I'm new. I just had to join as I'm going mad. I found out on christmas eve that my beloved partner has 2 years left to live. I'm broken. He's my best friend. My whole world. We had the happiest, easiest relationship. I just don't know how to be without him. I feel like my life didn't even begin until we met. The thought of life without him by side is unbearable. Seeing him in such shock and pain makes me die inside. I'm trying to be positive in front of him that maybe something will be discovered within the time frame to fix him, but it's so hard. I worry about letting him down. Not being strong enough to give him a happy 2 years. We're only late 30's. I don't know how any of this is possible. I feel so lonely already.

I'm so sorry.
I spoke to a colleague who has been In Your position only it was an horrific accident her DH died from.
They'd spoken of getting married and ended up having it by the bedside.
She said in the long run it made everything so much easier in time. She could say her husband had died. She had belonged to him and he to her.
People treat her better than if he'd been 'a partner' as she feels his death would have been dismissed sooner.
It's hard to explain, I'm sorry.
X

I feel so low today. Been alone all day. It has reminded me that this is soon what every day will be like. He will be home shortly. My dad is coming for dinner. My chest has felt so tight. Constantly feel sick. I can't answer phone calls. I'm feeling his loss so much already. I miss being happy so much.

Right some tough talking here
He is still with you, you are not helping him at all and won't help him if you make yourself sick. You have to keep busy, don't mope around, there will be plenty time for moping and grieving when he is no longer around.
Can you go see your GP for something to help you cope for the next few months. Please don't waste what time you have left together, your DP knows that you are upset and it will make it harder for him seeing you so upset.

I think the previous post is harsh. Summon you have every right to feel sad and feel his loss already. It is because you love so deeply that you feel this way. I, and I am sure very many people, have been very moved by what you have written. I'm sorry of this sounds insincere but we will be here for you in the difficult times ahead. People telling you you are not helping him by being emotional are being unfair. I know you miss being happy and you may feel.like you will never be happy again. I think you will, albeit in a different way. Losing a parent when I was still a teenager was horrendous but I am not sure I would have known true happiness since had I not known such grief and sadness. I wish I could take this suffering away from you both. Please try to love and take care of yourself.

None of us know how long we have to live

That is why we have to live our life to the max every day

He may have been given an estimate of March, but he may be gone tomorrow or be here next March

All you can do is your very best together

Perhaps you could celebrate his life now & hope that he will be remembered in the future

Please look after yourself

Take comfort from your family and friends

Summon, I'm so sorry about this. Please don't try and be strong all the time, or be anything you don't feel. I've had that advice in grief and it puts too much pressure on you. This is a time for being real and often that will be quite raw. Amazingly, there may well be incredible strength, that afterwards you don't know where it could have come from, as well as times of not knowing how to cope.

This is my first post - as well as telling you how sorry I am, I wanted to tell you about 'Wedding Wish', I think it's called - it was the charity of the season at my local bank and they give practical help / arrange weddings for couples where there is a diagnosis. They had chosen this charity after a relative of the manager got married after a diagnosis (they had wanted to get married before, but after the diagnosis it would have been harder to arrange and finance). I was very moved by the photos of them and their children and hearing about the help they had with hiring clothes and wedding venue etc and just wanted to tell you about it in case it you were thinking about it but the logistics felt too much with everything else going on.

Thank you to you all for your support. I am back at work today.
I am doing my utmost to try and smile at home. Trying to make things as painless and normal as I can for him. It's not that easy when the love of your life is clinging on to you. Terrified of dying. Of never seeing me again. He's crying an awful lot more these last few days.

Hi sweetheart. How are things? X

From bad to worse to be honest. Couldn't go into work. So many other s#it things going on in my life as well as this. I just couldn't do a thing today. My dad came and sat with me a while earlier

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

If you both want to be married I hope you can make it happen.

I guess nobody has the right words or advice for you, just treat yourself gently X x

Hi Summon3r. How are you both doing?

I'm so sorry Summon3r I haven't been in this situation, but I am in one where the future is very uncertain and my partner needs a lot of support (but so do I). I'm not going to lie, it's hard. But you will find the strength to deal with it, because you have to. I often think of the Winston Churchill quote 'when you're going through hell, keep going' because it's all you can do. You are stronger and braver than you can imagine. Please make sure you get support yourself - if you don't feel this can be from friends or family, see if you can get counselling. Maybe you could also post on the Bereavement board on here? Lots of lovely people there to support you. Sending you and your family lots of love.