Guess I fell for every line in the book, I'm heartbroken and a BLOODY NASTY PERSON!

[Xmaspuddinghell]

Really not proud of myself and I will get flamed but I fell for a man who was in a "unhappy" relationship!

I fell for him the minute we meet it was instant and I can honestly say I have never ever felt like this about anyone!

From day one he pursued me, spoke loads about how unhappy he was, how much he was into me, how he was leaving, said he told his sister and family about me and spoke to them lots about how unhappy he was etc. 2 weeks ago I was even helping him look for houses to move into in new year as he was leaving after Xmas!

Then someone (no idea who) has told his partner, he straight away blames me and hasn't spoke or acknowledged me since, he has no respect towards me at all.

His gf is contacting me asking things and because I don't want/never wanted to hurt her and upon his request I just keep saying nothing ever happened between us...... Why am I still lying for this man, is it to protect him or her?

She knows something has gone on 100% and doesn't believe us, she has see some correspondence between us and from what she is saying he doesn't appear to be there as she seems to think we are together even now!

I'm heartbroken, I love him! I'm fuming with myself for ever getting into this situation, something I never ever thought I would do. I'm gutted to realise that he actually doesn't give a toss about me his silence speaks volumes!

I am a horrible horrible person and I'm so sorry for what I done.

How do I get over this and move on?

She can tell the gf the truth instead of lying and then rushing back to him for reassurance.

It's really his decision what to tell his wife and his wife's choice whether she believes him. But since she's asked I agree with PPs that you should tell her the truth, including that he told you he would leave her and had spoken to his family about it.

Work shouldn't be a problem: he will have to behave professionally or you can complain.

If you're worried that telling her will burn bridges with him, that's selfish, and why would you want a man who cheated on his partner and then dumped you?

Surely accepting that, apologising and wanting to put it right means you are not a bad person

Well, yes, but that's not her plan is it?

I thought it was.... I understood she was asking whether or not to tell her... Unless I've got that wrong.

Just re-read. Maybe not quite what was being asked!

Thank you for all the replies, I do think I should tell her the truth and will I was just worried that people would think I'm just doing it to be nasty because I didn't get my happy ending which isn't the case!

I knew within 30 mins of it all coming out that he wasn't cornered about me at all yet I still lied for him and still am 2 weeks on, and I shouldn't be

So do you intend, at some point in the future, to stop lying for him and start telling the truth to her?

You need to tell her the truth and tell her if you used protection.

Block his number in case he texts you back to berate you.

Then move on.

Yes I am going to tell her, not today it's christmas but will to contact her on Monday

What do you want to happen next?

Don't think anything will happen next except I will feel a little less upset hopefully knowing that I have done the right thing by telling her the truth and answering her questions, I then full intend to step well away from the whole situation, once I have told her everything she wants to know I will have no contact with either of then and will try my best to avoid him at work, and work on repairing myself.... What else can I do?

I think that's the right thing to do, offer to answer her questions and apologise for not being completely truthful so far.

Then plan something to take care of yourself and your own well-being.

OP, tbh... you were lied to, but you yourself don't seem to worry much about lying either...

The other thing is that while it is good that you have decided to tell her the truth, you don't have to tell her "everything she wants to know". This will only create a situation where she might keep coming back to you for more and more details. You need to tell her once the bare facts of what happened, and then block both her and him on phone, social media, etc.

wow....i bet hes loving two women bickering over him....he isnt even worth it.!

what toosassy says!