Has your relationship with your siblings

[winkywinkola]

continued in the same way into adulthood?

For example, my next brother up from me and I had a very bad relationship as children. My nickname was sow and he would chant at me that I would get pregnant at 16 and end up in a council house.

When we both became parents things improved marginally but he has since made it clear he dislikes me as does his wife.

Thinking about my childhood with him upsets me a lot and I don't know why it upsets me still now really. I still invite him and his family to our family get gerunds. He very rarely comes and when he does he ignores me after the initial hello.

Why do I give a shit? It angers me that he is so rude. The rest of the family don't see it really. Why would they observe someone behaving like that?

I think I will quietly go nc and just stop making any effort. I don't want to invite him to anything anymore. Except I would like to still send birthday and Christmas gifts to his children.

Is there a support group for scapegoats? I think there should be.

I've wondered about this! There's not even books on it - no Lundy for us! Susan Forward?

Previous page so can't get the NN but relate to account of scapegoat amongst siblings - especially that they 'can't quite say why'. I also can't honestly say I love them. But, yes, how great we could have been. So sad.

I'm the scapegoat in my family and it hurts like hell, but I think the golden children in my family actually have suffered more harm, either because they can't see that there is a problem at all, or can't understand that nothing will be resolved as long as they blame everyone else.

My mother was the favourite in her family and made my brother the favourite, presumably having little understanding of the impact on others because it worked well for her.

I've just been through family therapy with my brother and it ended with me drawing a line. It was all about making sure the counsellor thought I was in the wrong. Even at the end he was screaming at me that there was nothing wrong with him, and that I should be taking steps to fix things. I heard him shouting at the counsellor as I walked away from our last appointment. He is DESPERATE for me to want a relationship with him but cannot see that it is his own behaviour that has driven me away.

My older sister was my hero, up until my late 20s, she started putting her children's inlaws above any of her own family. Now at the point where she is far closer to her son's mother in law than to me and makes it clear they come before me or my other sibling, it's bizarre and upsetting.

Good for you Imbroglio

Thanks. It's been tough cutting contact but ultimately a relief.

In answer to the original question, our relationship was always distant. It's only when I broke the rules by cutting contact with him that he's been the slightest bit interested.

Meow please think of reporting the bastard to the police. He's already done it twice at least.