Please advise on the following...
After approx 18 months of family court proceedings the acromony between my ex partner and myself has reached breaking point and I'm emotionally exhausted by all that has gone on.
We've been communicating through email (so that there's evidence) only over vital things as my ex was controlling and abusive (the reason I split from him). He now tries to control me through our ds. We split up 7 years ago.
2 weeks ago I sent him a proposal for next years holidays for contact and holidays and also Xmas arrangements etc (as outlined and directed in the court order). Naively I thought he'd come back agreeing with most of the dates and just say a few dates needed to be changed, but he rejected it all. He claimed I was dictating and interpreting the order to suit myself when I wasn't but he did not propose any dates himself. Instead he threatened me with Court action and told a Cafcass officer that he would obstruct me collecting our dc from him on Boxing Day after Xmas if he could not collect our ds from school yesterday.
I contacted the Court and we had to have a hearing to agree the arrangements for Xmas and the next year. It was extremely difficult and he had his solicitor with him. I represented myself. Both he and his solictitor have bullying natures.
The Judge talked to us and confirmed weekends are to be suspended when school breaks up which I found frustrating as this will interfere with the weekends I'm to spend with my son. As part of the Order we alternate weekends. My ex had our dc last weekend. My last weekend with him being the 5th & 6th Dec so I was looking forward to this weekend with my dc as I'm not collecting him until Boxing Day morning. I felt my proposal for Xmas contact was a better split of the time.
On the morning before Court I noticed my dc had a red eye, like the start of conjunctivitis. He has been suffering with an extremely chesty cold for the last 10 days. I therfore made a doctors appointment for after school as over the counter meds haven't shifted it. My ds said his eye was sore so I reassured him by telling him I'd make a doctors appointment appointment for him.
We attended Court and in view of alternate weekends being suspended upon the break up of school, the Judge said his father was to collect our dc from school yesterday. I was expecting him to collect him tom eve (Sunday)). As I thought this was to be the start of his Xmas contact (at the end of my contact weekend). My dc also had a piano lesson arranged half an hour after school and then his Cubs Xmas party 6.30pm - 8pm. The docs appoint was to be sandwiched between the two.
The Judge was made aware of the half hour piano lesson, docs appointment and the Cubs Xmas party. The Judge recommended our dc attend his piano lesson and to see what the condition of his eye was after coming out from school. If still not cleared up he was to attend the doctors appointment but after that it was for his father 'to take the lead' on whether he should attend his Cubs party. I was disappointed that the Judge in view of the arrangements our dc was anticipating attending, that he did not suggest my ex collecting our ds today (eg, split the difference on each of our expectations when contact would start) so I could simply take him to these arranged activities. My exs solicitor actually launched into a very personal attack outside Court accusing me of arranging these activities (including the doctors appointment) as a 'manipulation tactic'!!! His solicitor said my ex could take our ds to a doctor in his contact time. I stressed it was better he see his own doctor and I'd taken the last appointment. I was cross he had no regard towards the best intersts of my dc!
My point to all this in giving so much background is that my ex agreed at Court to what the Judge said but then he did not follow through. This has not been the first time he has gone back on his word and I'm exhausted by his lies, attitude but importamntly how much it confuses and upsets our son.
So, the the Judge ruled my ex collect our ds from school, he attend his piano lesson and the doctors appointment and to the see how much our ds wanted to go to the Cubs Xmas party. I obv knew the answer to the latter and had already told the Judge this. Our ds had baked some biscuits the night before to take to the party. My ex left Court saying contact school, tell them I'm coming (which I did) and that he'd meet me at my house with regard to everything else.
My ex was then 30 mins late so had his gf text me half an hour before school out to ask me to arrange to collect our ds from school and wait at home. 10 mins later still no sign so I cancelled the piano lesson because I didn't feel it would go down too well if I was not at home with our ds when he arrived.
When he did arrive I advised our ds's eye was worse (redder) and on looking at it our dc's eye, he played it down. My ds said it was sore but my ex said 'it will be okay' and he'd monitor it. I said it had already deteriorated since the morning. He would have none of it despite me suggesting we all go to the doctors (in separate vehicles) just for peace of mind and to have our ds's chest checked too. My ex said he would prefer to just get going homeand would take our ds to a doctor in his area. He assured me he would and only because he assured me he would I was pressured into saying goodbye until Boxing Day to our ds. I rang the surgery and cancelled the appointment explaing the situ.
With regard to the Cubs party he simply told our ds he could not go as it would be too late getting back to his area... but then said it's not a school night so they could watch films until late... My son was clearly disappointed but said nothing despite his counter offer.
This morning, I emailed my ex to see which doctor he'd taken him to and what the outcome was and he told me hadnt taken him and it appeared to be fine. It was not fine yesterday and I'm really cross at myself that I did not insist on taking our ds to our local surgery to the appointment I'd made.
I'm so furious with my ex as he agreed to do this and has not. He was also arrogant towards me in attitude with regards to the agreed contact schedule of which I'd said I'd send him a re-worked schedule based on what we'd agreed... but then he had his gf send one via his email account 30 mins after leaving Court.
Any advise on how to go forwards would be grately appreciated. Thank you in advance.