I cheated on my husband.. Do I tell him?

[ellie09]

I've been with my husband for over 6 years and have been married for 15 months. I'm 22 and he is 25.

Things were 'ok' although he was becoming increasingly nasty about my family/friends in the months leading up to this incident. His temper also increase and he has 'shoved' or 'slapped'me a couple of times.

I was out on Saturday for a work night out and got absolutely drunk. The most drunk I've been. I ended up in an apartment taking drugs with a few others which is also unlike me. I was trying it on with a few people, and there was one where it went too far.

It got to 7am and you'd have thought I'd have went home.. No, I decided to go back to this guys place. Sex for hours, every position and build up frustrations coming out. I didn't even feel any remorse. I felt numb.

I came home, stayed silent and haven't said a word although he had suspicions which I denied. Due to his temper I was scared of his reaction considering he smashed the house up cos of the fact I came home at midday.

I am so unhappy. I don't want to be with anyone else but I think I need some time on my own.

Do I tell him what happened? Or how do I walk away otherwise?

[VoldysGoneMouldy]

If you can go out and manage to have sex (no judgement, that takes a lot of physical energy!), you have the energy to leave him. If he is out now, take the opportunity. Pack a back with the things you really need - bank details, passport, a few changes of clothes - and get out NOW. Go to your mums.

And as a PP has said, if this is on a device he has access to, delete the history.

[notasillysausage]

I was where you are, except that we were engaged not married.

Let me me tell you, things are not "ok" if he slaps you. Things are not "ok" if he shoves you. I know when I cheated it was my way of saying fuck you and hitting back. You can't beat him physically, but cheating makes you feel like you have emotional power.

Do NOT tell him you cheated. He won't leave, he will use it as his excuse for how he treats you. He will latch onto it and continue the abuse, but in his eyes it's ok because its retaliation for you sleeping with someone else.

He won't change, he will get worse. The tipping point for me was lying in bed and turning over to sleep when suddenly he punched me hard in the back, no reason for it, just punched me. I left the next morning and never saw him again. Best thing I ever did.

You will have your own tipping point, I just hope too much damage isn't done before you reach it

[Finola1step]

Agree in tipping point. Is this yours?

[Footle]

Will your mum help you and protect you ?