I was dating a guy for 5/6 months earlier this year. I met him through an online dating site. He lived up north but worked in London during the week. We saw each other once a week or so (although it probably averaged out slightly less overall). He rented a room in a family house when he was down south so we always met at my place.
The relationship finished because his contract down here finished and he returned to live in the North full-time. We tried to do a long distance relationship for a bit (he travelled down once at the weekend and stayed the night). We didn't see one another for the last month before he ended things saying the long distance thing was making him miserable.
We stayed in contact as friends after things ended. Just occasional chatty emails.
The thing is, I never knew his address. It came up a couple of times (once because I wanted to post him an invitation, I forget the other time) and he just kind of dodged the question and I let it go.
I mailed him the other day saying that I had a Christmas card that I wanted to post. He went uncharacteristically quiet (he answers every email within half a day or so, usually straightaway). So last night I emailed him saying "I presume you're not talking to me because you don't want me to know your address? What's that all about?"
Email from him this morning - first half is usual chatty bollocks, then he said "Just a bit uncomfortable giving you my, DS's & my registered company's address. Sorry."
It had crossed my mind before that his marriage might not be as over as he said it was (the address thing mostly, but also the fact that he isn't on any social media and well, the 'working away from home' thing would be the perfect set-up to facilitate an affair) but I had dismissed it because there were other things that made it seem less likely. Saying that he 'wasn't comfortable' with me knowing his address just made it seem likely that he is still living with his "ex". I emailed back saying "Oh, fuck off. Don't contact me again." Not my most erudite moment.
So what do you think? Have I been an unwitting Other Woman? Am I an idiot?
I know it doesn't matter now. The relationship was over and now the 'friendship' definitely is too. My friends don't refuse to let me know where they live. Even if he isn't still happily married / unhappily married / separated and cohabiting and lying about it, then it still seems fucking weird.
I suppose I want to know how to handle possible future situations like this. I have started OLD again. Although I will probably just assume that they're all adulterous arseholes until I get evidence otherwise.
Blimey, that was long. Sorry.