How important is it to have a similar background to your partner?

[Tottie24]

This is something I think of quite a lot as it seems to be far more important to my mother than me, but does she have a point? I was lucky enough to have a private education, however never dated anyone with a simelar background. Having been divorced for two years I am finally starting to move on and have started seeing a guy, hence questioning everything as scared of things not working out. I've always been slightly embarrassed by being privately educated, I have no idea why, but Infact I'm really uncomfortable with the whole 'class' thing really. Interested to hear the opinion of others and really hope not to offend thanks

No, you don't need to have a similar background. Me and my DH come from very different backgrounds, we grew up in different countries with different cultures, we were brought up very differently too.

It doesn't make it easy because you have more to learn about each other and sometimes compromise on differences but we have managed and it has made a very interesting relationship for both of us and somehow it works just fine.

We have many things in common - parents of similar age, parents both married for over 50 years, attended comprehensive schools, we are both ex-army, both previously married and divorced, both have a daughter. We each have an ex who has had a significant negative impact for an extended period after the relationship with them ended.

DP left home and school at 16 and joined the army, he has no academic qualifications post O level but has a lengthy list of qualifications related to his job. I have two Masters degrees and an IQ of 154. For him, this is the biggest issue. He says I am much more articulate than him (though he also says he has learned so much from me and wouldn't be the successful man he is now without me) and at times accuses me of treating him like he is stupid, which I never intentionally do and feel that he is oversensitive in this area. He is much more volatile than me and arguments are instigated by him (though sometimes triggered by me).

Throughout our five years together, we have learned to make our similarities and differences an advantage rather than an issue, in the main. He is often the voice of reason when I am over-analysing or taking things at face value (I'm yet to find the middle ground!) Yes, things blow up from time to time but we agree that we are better together and for that reason plan to marry next year.

I'm from a council estate in Liverpool and he is from a rural village in Suffolk .... We are so working class ... They are sooooooo upper middle!!!!

We've been married for 9 years, together for 16 and 3 kids later !!!!

DH and I are from opposite ends of the social scale, both white British though. Married 20 years, we do alright.

Background totally irrelevant in our family: different social class or nationality the norm. However, similar levels of intelligence and physical attractiveness!

It is so lovely to read all these positive responses, my exH was also from a different background to me, but from reading all the comments above I know that the reason we aren't together has nothing to do with our backgrounds! Not that it was something that had crossed my mind previously, however now meeting someone with a similar background to him, but very different outlook this has been really helpful.

As everyone says, it's about values. me - independent school, Oxbridge, office based job in academia. Him - , working class household with a strong work ethic, we both think his mum should lay off the work now...1 gcse (was retaking maths then moved down to be with me, we need to sort that again), but been working in his trade for a long time so is senior, and earns a decent wedge in construction.

But our politics are similar (left, I'm more so than him), we find the same things funny, my parents love him because he clearly loves me. And it was funny watching him interact with my posher than posh godmother last christmas, they got on like a house on fire. Once she'd learned the manc accent. She told my parents she thought he was ace.

So it's not a bother. I introduce him to stuff, and he introduces stuff to me.

Backgrounds are backgrounds. It's who you are now that counts, I think.

DH and I are from different social classes. He's Liverpool working class, I'm Home Counties privately educated middle class. We both went to one of those universities MN sees as bragging, and he earns 3x what I do. We have differences of outlook on subtle stuff sometimes, but we talk openly about class/culture differences and there's no assumption that his or my way is better - we find our own way.

I don't care much about the facebook tbh. These kind of photos don't annoy me.
I just want to know what the business is. Lot's of money and lot's of free time ? If it does't require capital please let me know what it is.
(i bet it either:requires big deposit and risk, lot's of hard work, or it doesn't really make money)

Oops wrong thread! Sorry!

DH's family are dysfunctional to say the least. My family are reasonably well off. Skilled working class. It's been a learning curve for him. He loves the family atmosphere we have created for him. I think he thought that the family I have only existed in films.

It's made me appreciate my background so much more and so grateful.