please give me some advice on this - follow on from other thread

[Ugandandiscussions]

I posted this thread a few days ago and received some excellent advice. Now I have quite an urgent situation:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2521527-Is-it-worth-trying-to-correct-people

I have been tipped off by one of my friends that my new employer is due to meet one of the women who told my previous employer that I had done something terrible and that they should watch me. This woman is meeting my employer over a charity related issue that she has volunteered for, but I don't think I'm being paranoid by saying that I believe she is using the charity volunteering to arrange a meeting to mention me negatively. (I am not a deluded narcissist - you will see from the thread above the lengths my ex and his flying monkeys are going to.)

I am filled with anxiety about this, especially as my friend is pushing me to go to my new employer immediately and warn them that this woman may try to tell them something and that it will probably not be true.

Please advise what I should say to my new employer? And how could I do it? Email? Phone?

Honestly? I'd say nothing.

If they tall about you, the talk about you.
If your new bosses question you, then explain your side.
If they then feel they have to let you go because of it, then you should proceed to have the woman for defamation and the company for discrimination etc.

I doubt she would say something definite enough to sue for defamation (which is a major thing to do anyway). It would all be about little drips of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.

Could you happen to chat to your employer?

"Oh, I hear you're dealing with X charity. I used to know some of those folk quite well, burble burble about charity.
"Mind you, a particularly stalky/bitter ex of mine was also one of that crowd. His, erm, special friend was a bit unhinged - actually turned up at my workplace to make sure they knew 'what an awful person' I was. Incredible. Some people live their lives straight out of soap operas. Anyway, how's the new thingummy wotsit going?"

But if you have sought legal advice, as some people suggested on your other thread, that would be your first port of call re this new situation.

Is there any way you can arrange to sit in on the meeting?