he grabbed my wrist

[Stoneagemum]

To stop me getting out of the car to walk away from a discussion we have had many times that I have had enough of hearing as we will never agree.

This is the second time he has restrained me from leaving the same discussion in the same situation, last time we were in the car (stationary both times) and still had my belt on so he grabbed the belt to stop me getting out and walking away.

I have said that he has now crossed a line and that we are over, and he is telling me that it was only so I could hear him finish and not walk away before he had said his piece.

He is giving me the script, I know it and I'm trying to be strong, I have done bad things myself and they are now being brought up again.

Am I over reacting or are my instincts correct, is he showing signs of being controlling and physically restraining me from walking away is a sign of an abusive type man?

I was so firm when this happened earlier but have received so many texts and phone calls I am now questioning myself.

He says he despises men who hit women (he knows of my past) but I feel he shows the signs of being controlling/abusive.

Is this my radar on overdrive or is he a no no?

If he ever comes to your door, shout through it for him to go away - if he doesn't ring the police.
That is what a Police Officer told me to do when going through a similar thing myself.

Why not go out ? Change the lock, & take your kids ice skating, or swimming, or do a Xmas fair.

You can leave his things outside, & say you are out, the relationship is no longer bringing you happiness. tell him you will repay as soon as you are able. (unless he has things of value of yours? or you have financed him for anything) then block his number.

Sorry missed the police episode.
Forget the refund.
Please do not read or reply to his emails. send them to Spam.
People who are good at EA are so able to weasel themselves back in.

BTW (I see mix56 has caught up, but I want to say it anyway): do NOT admit a debt to him. A debt has to be established through contract, and verbal can be included in that.

For instance, most debts are clear-cut and written down: you sign papers to get a new mobile phone, or enter into a mortgage or loan agreement. But if he wanted to make trouble, he could have with him a witness or a phone on record (not, strictly, legal to record somebody without their permission, but you don't want that hassle).

From what you've described, he paid for the holiday and there had been no question of you owing for it, until now, of course! He's only bringing this up now because you ungrateful bitch are daring to split up with him. And the idea that you owe him a Christmas present back! The police and the courts would laugh that right out of the building!

Meant to say also, well done you! And stay strong.

Don't let him in ..abusive men with nothing to loose ( they realise it's over ) show far less restraint