Do I change the locks? He refuses to go!

[GinnyLL]

I'll try to keep this short and sweet. My ex still lives with me and our three boys even though we broke up years and years ago. We carried on living together for the kids and I put my life on hold and put up with him even though we don't get on. I can't tolerate this situation any more and I've asked him to leave on countless occasions but he resuses. Now he's finally saying he'll look for somewhere else but only after Christmas! I can't have that as it's already gone on too long and I feel so much anger towards him. I've asked him to go this Sunday but he says he has nowhere to go. This is not true but that's another story.

He just told me he's taking the boys out for the day Sunday. So I'm stumped about how to to get him out. I own the flat solely and he doesn't pay any rent. If I change the locks when he's out then it will be traumatic for the boys when they all arrive back at the flat. I just don't know how to get rid of him.

To add more clarity I have a partner who's been a saint to put up with this situation and we're having a baby. The ex does not know I'm pregnant yet. So this is another reason I have to get my ex out of my flat. It's crazy he's still here when it's effectively preventing my wonderful relationship from progressing.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to remove this man from my flat? Btw my boys know he's due to move out Sunday.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"I own the flat solely and he doesn't pay any rent."
Then yes, I think it's perfectly legal to change the locks.

[Dallasty]

He's switched on to your lack of fire and he'll still be there happily kipping at your home monday morning. Grow a pair, kick him out and be happy. He's taking the piss, because he thinks you're a weak pushover, and so far, you are. Time to get real....and tough. Kick this complete wanker out on the street.

[BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley]

How old are your children?

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

Newname was asking where he'd go specifically to ask if it was suitable for the kids to stay. Newname's concern is for the children from what I can see.

In the context of the rest of the post I read it as a lot of guilting and judging about dating a new man but I do see how it could all be founded in concern for the children now that you've said it, springy. Who knows. I hope you're right, it was a dreadful post all round if not.