What to do if you're way more into the relationship than the other person?

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Been seeing a guy for 6 months now, we're both relatively recently single (no crossover though) with kids and it's going well, except I can't shake the feeling that I'm more into it than him. We haven't discussed 'feelings' and I'm not sure I want to in case it scares him off, but on the other hand I'm not sure I want to go on not knowing either. I hate the fact that so much of whether I'm in a good mood or not depends on whether I've heard from him or not.

Part of me thinks I should end it and work on being happy in myself, but I do really like him.

Has anyone experienced similar and what was the outcome?

I'm seeing a counsellor and also looking into on-line self help sites. But not found any yet.

Currently fighting the urge to tell him exactly what I think of his behaviour, but honestly what would be the point?

Oh no, please don't do that.

I've written it out and sent it to my friend instead.

Phew!

What do you mean by telling him what you think of his behavior?! He has every right to end a relationship. Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean he's done anything wrong.

Yes obviously he has every right to end a relationship, it's the way he did it, and his sense of timing that sucks. I think I just want to make him hurt like I'm hurting and I know I'm better than that. I won't send it.

Well thanks for that, it's really helpful. You may think I'm a troll or whatever, but I'm a real person with real feelings and real issues that I'm trying to get sorted in my head. Yes my thinking is warped but I'm trying to get it straightened out on here so I don't make an even bigger fool out of myself.

Elf, is there any need for that? OP has been very open and honest about her feelings, is trying to work through them, and has had quite a lot of very positive insight about her own motivations and beliefs. She has also shown great restraint and self-control in not reacting to her XBF in real life in the way that she was tempted to. I don't see how your snide comments and PA biscuits are helping the situation.

I never knew biscuits could be passive aggressive, you learn something every day...

Would it be better to just pretend everything is hunky dory, that the OP isn't massively projecting and over reacting? I've offered sensible suggestions, asked questions for her to consider about her life - if she is a real poster - but I'm certainly not going to sugar coat things when there is ridiculous comments. This isn't netmums.

I think there's a difference between "not sugar coating" and being downright unkind. Actually, perhaps you're right - I think the biscuit is more unkind than PA.

Riiiiight, so the biscuit was meant to be helpful was it? Who knew?

I agree with Eccle I think you've shown a lot of self-reflection and open-mindedness on your thread.

Thank you Red and Eccle finding it a bit easier today although still very sad about it. Friday is going to be a tough day, I'd booked tickets for us to see Star Wars at the cinema. I've no particular desire to see it.