Different surname to my child: not happy with this anymore

[harveybristol]

The title of this post pretty much sums up my issue here. I fell pregnant unexpectedly with my partner's child around 3 years ago, we're mature consenting adults with good jobs etc!
we discussed the prospect of marriage and DP and agreed that out baby would have his surname and we would marry when baby was able to walk down the aisle with me.
she's almost 2 years old now, no marriage proposal in sight and I'm becoming increasingly frustrated at having a different surname as my Daughter. What bugs me is that she also has the same surname as my interfering 'inlaws' who regularly refer to the fact that 'oooo she's definitely a Smith isn't she.' I hate it.

Whenever DP and I have a differing opinion on something to do with DD they always jump to his defence and I wind up feeling demeaned, whilst unable to shake the thought that ultimately, she's one of them and I'm on the outside.
I blew up at DP about it tonight after another interference from them this week and told him that I'll be changing DDs surname to mine if things don't look to change soon. Not sure where it all came from, but I must have subconsciously been feeling this way for a while.

Is this an over-reaction or am I right to feel this way?

OP, sadly, being on the mortgage first and foremost means you are responsible for that mortgage to be paid.

I think you're absolutely right to feel this way OP.

I gave our children my surname. When we got married I double-barrelled them, didn't change my own name. So as a family my husband and I each have our own surnames, and our kids have both names, double-barrelled.

In practice people tend to address cards etc. to the whole family as (e.g.) Smith-Jones family. Which is fine with me and DH.

Your story is very sad and worrying and exemplifies why it can be a very inadvisable thing to give your kids a different surname from you. I hope you get things resolved soon. You can change your child's name.