High maintanence friend driving me crazy! Is it me??

[VIX1307]

One of my good friends has always been extremely high maintenance (IMO). I just don't know if I can take it anymore and starting wondering if her extreme reactions are justified? Is it me or is she just too much? We have known each other for over 10 years now and are very close but sometimes I just feel suffocated by her reactions to me when I slightly don't behave exactly as she would like me to.

We are both women (30 yr old) and she gets very irate if I don't reply to her messages straight away.
She text me yesterday (a motivational picture quote) At the time I was getting my nails done so couldn't really reply and then it slipped my mind for the rest of the day.
She text me again at 9.30pm at night when I was driving home so I read the message (which she could see I had done) but I couldn't reply again as I was driving and made a mental note to respond once home. Ten minutes later I get a passive aggressive text. Something along the lines of 'ok no worries chat soon'. I apologised and told her sorry it completely slipped my mind to reply earlier and I was driving just now which was why I didn't respond straight away, no big deal type thing.
She replied 'ok shall I respond now or maybe wait a few hours like you do?'. I told her I'm not interested in having this convo and that she's being silly- it was a mistake, that I wasn't intentionally trying to upset her and said I was sorry. And she told me I was being really mean not replying all day so I suggested we talk later when she feels better. The response was 'Yeah but you probably won't respond so what's the point'. I just said 'fine suit yourself but you're being ridiculous' and then I get the 'oh wow thanks for being such a great best friend' etc 'nice to see you're bothered' and other words to that effect. Then blocked me! I despair!
How would you deal with someone like this? We seem to have the same argument over and over again and it's driving me absolutely bonkers! Should I be trying to cater to her needs more or does she need to chill out?? Any words of wisdom on how to deal with someone like this? or AIBU? xx

I'd text her "Your latest hissy fit has made me realise that you are just too high-maintenance for our friendship to continue...Goodbye, good luck, Have a nice life"

Urgh, I have a friend like this....it is draining beyond belief and thankfully she has now moved so we don't see each other often. She sounds like a drama queen- don't indulge her

I had a friend like this. She did have Borderline Personaliity Disorder too so maybe previous posters could be right?

I didn't respond. She messaged again later being like 'sorry about last night I was really stressed out as had a few things going on, my bad'- I haven't responded to that either. Is it particularly awful if I don't accept the apology?

one option could be to tell her straight that you can't be what she wants, that you can't always reply immediately. That being regularly found wanting and blocked then unblocked kind of makes it clear that she's looking for something other than what you have to offer, and it isn't what you want from a friendship either, but that you wish her well

Funny how it took you pushing back for her to admit fault, op....

Not responding now seems a tad mean though. I'd text her back to say why you're pissed off, so she has all the information and isn't blindly groping in the dark for reasons that you're annoyed. After all you've put up with this for years, why would you suddenly decide now that it's unacceptable?

Be straight with her, please. It'll cause high drama but she clearly values you as a friend and is prepared to back down a bit if necessary, so she might be worth keeping in your life (properly trained of course).

She actually said "My bad?" Ditch the bitch.

No updates yet op??? ;)

I replied saying 'Thanks, I appreciate the apology'. Nothing back. I'm guessing she was expecting me to tell her it's all fine, no worries and that I'm so happy she's ok now.

Haha. The beauty of it is that if she tries to tell anyone else about it ("Vix accepted my apology rather than dismissing the need for me to apologise at all!") she'll sound barking

Do look out for other friends saying ' said you've been really off with her, what's the deal?' and having to explain that she pissed you off, she then apologised and is now pissed off that you didn't embrace her with open arms when she did so..... it's ludicrous, honestly!

'sorry about last night I was really stressed out as had a few things going on, my bad'

I'd have texted back (eventually) "yeah, I had a few things going on myself. I should have ignored the fact that the washing machine flooded the kitchen, my ds/dd (delete as applicable) had managed to shut their fingers in the door and was bleeding madly and the hospital rang to say that I need to make a really urgent appointment to answer your text..... She had no idea what was going on with you that day.

"sorry about last night I was really stressed out as had a few things going on, my bad"

I'd have been tempted to text back "you don't have the monopoly on stress, and you need to stop taking it out on other people!"