Feeling resentful - am I just being selfish?

[AuditorofReality]

Help!

I am prepared for some honest opinions as I cant seem to get a handle on this.

I am a well qualified mum of 2, great husband, lovely job etc. etc. My DH has recently moved across the country to pursue his career - he did have a choice not to go and get another job, but choose to move instead. The DC and I don't see him all that much but we are holding it together somewhat.

I love my DH lots, we have been together for 17 years and are generally very happy - but I am tired of doing everything myself, doing all the things in the house, with the animals, with the children etc. and denying myself (this is important) opportunities for progression at work or new jobs etc. because there is no one at home to help me if I take on more work or take promotion. Whereas I have supported him 100% in everything he has pursued, even at the detriment of my own feelings or workload.

So the result is I feel resentful of him being able to pursue his career and be devoid of many of the responsibilities (because he is not here) and it is eating me up and I am frightened that I am going to spend the rest of my life resenting him and it will jeopardise our marriage (which is generally very supportive and happy).

I have tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't really understand and thinks I should be more grateful that he provides for us and works hard to do so.

I know this is a pretty small problem in the grand scheme of things - but I need to know if I am being too selfish - any insight would be appreciated.

Just a quick question. Would moving out there to be with him be an option? If it is, how do you feel about that? I see it may not be realistic with GCSEs on the horizon, but can you see yourselves as a family over there? How would he feel if everyone came to him and he had to be responsible again? Not saying you should do this, but can you envisage it at all?

Sorry, that was more than a quick question.

I'd rather have my husband at home, earning less money but partaking fully in family life than away from home, earning a bit more money but absent from the day to day ups and downs .

Life is so short and you're all missing out on being a family while he's away.

Despite what you say, it can't be good for the children to be away from school so much. They might have work set but what about all the other experiences?

As it stands you are, essentially, separated.

This set up might work for some people. But it doesn't sound like it's working for you. What would you like to happen?