DH and his (at the time) 16y old son moved in 4 y ago. I had prior to this previously got on well with both of his children (DSD is at university). Fairly soon after they moved in DSS began causing more and more problems. He had never been expected to help around the house before (he had had medical issues as a child) and I assumed that this was the reason, however he became increasingly abusive, starting with mind games, progressing lurking behind me with knives etc, then eventually to pushing me around. The problem was that this was always when no one was around; DH would be at work, DS in bed. DH was completely ineffective at dealing with it and things eventually progressed to the point that I would stay at work until I knew DH would be home, come in and cook, then go to bed and block the door. I continued to to beg DH for help, and eventually stated repeatedly that the other choice was that they left. I had been to the doctors a couple of times to see if it was possible that I was imagining this behaviour/going crazy. For this reason when I fell pregnant I was referred to a SS mw. When I was about 16w pregnant, DSS came back into the house after leaving (the arrangement was that he stayed out once he had gone do I knew it was ok to leave the locked bedroom) and repeatedly smashed s door into my face. I managed to hold the door shut against him and he left when I shouted that I was calling the police.
The mw arrived a little later when I was still shaken and bloody and eventually convinced me to report this.
Upshot was DSS moved out. SS insisted he had no contact with me and baby (although for the sake of my marriage I asked if if he in future agreed to counselling and supervision could this be reconsidered). I attempted to move forward with DH, but he refuses to talk about how his lack of support made me feel. My pregnancy was horrendous and DS was born early with additional needs do I was a little preoccupied to really address this. I have been back to GP as still having panic attacks and nightmares, and am really struggling when I'm alone, even though all locks have been changed.
DH family have totally ignored me since this, which upsets me as I have no idea what they have been told. DSD who I used to talk to constantly hasn't spoken to me for 18m.
Tonight DH spat at me that I was making everything up and that he was going to speak to SS. Tbh, this is find as maybe seeing facts is what he needs, but I'm in pieces that he still thinks I'm lying. I understand that he wants to support his son, and I've encouraged him to see him, but I can't see why he is with me if he thinks I'm making this up.
I'm in pieces as it's finally sunk in that he not only enabled this abuse for s long time, but is continuing to rationalise it. Either he really thinks I am such a filthy liar (what's in it got me though?), or he thinks I deserved it.
I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve by posting, just a rambling rant I guess.
Sorry for the epic post.