Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What's the biggest turn-off you've ever had from a potential BF?

282 replies

1a2b3c4d · 27/11/2015 13:13

So I was sitting with a gentleman friend watching some violent git on tv murder his ex, beat up his GF... and then the inexplicably forgiving GF crawls into bed and waits for him in a sexiful and alluring manner.

Clearly my response was 'WTF is wrong with her, this is sexist nonsense'...
to which gentleman friend replied to the effect of 'domestic violence is ok if it only happened once, they made up' etc.

No, it is not ok. Keeping well bloody clear of him now!

Any other big turn-off experiences?

OP posts:
TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 05/12/2015 18:25

Asked me for a blow job, using mime, on our third date. Tempting but no, thanks.

Orange1969 · 05/12/2015 18:37

Blue Tack man! Dogging man! Blow job mime man! Love it!

When I was a young woman, I spent a passionate afternoon in a beautiful bed with a gentleman. To be fair, the afternoon was not THAT passionate as his undressing of me felt like a gynaecological examination.

He then took his clothes off and... I was not turned on. He had stinky, enormous, flat feet with yellow, horn toenails. He had poor posture and a very spotty back. His elbows were red but the rest of him was bone white and lightly tufted with prickly fuzz. His body had a feminine waist but bony hips and knock knees. His knuckles were red.

He couldn't get an erection (obviously not his fault) but spent the afternoon sort of prodding my genitals and scratching my tender bits with his hang nailed fingers.

The finishing touch to afternoon delight? He told me it was his mum's bed - she was away for the weekend.

Also, his pet cat pissed on me while I was asleep.

Lacoba66 · 05/12/2015 18:41

orange1969 every single part of that is just gross, but I guess it wasn't the cats fault Grin

Lacoba66 · 05/12/2015 18:46

Oh, god this thread is jogging memories that I'd hoped to forget....

When I first met my now ex DH, and we visited my parents, because we weren't married, we were made to stay in separate rooms ( far enough- their rules). One year later we returned as a married couple and they not only agreed that we could share a bed, but insisted we have theirs, which had a picture of Jesus Christ above it!

As for the 'bluetac' man, ironically he fell over outside a year later and chipped one of his teeth Grin.

Orange1969 · 05/12/2015 19:02

The cat was innocent :)

MotherofFlagons · 05/12/2015 19:17

He kept calling me the wrong name on our first date. And it wasn't even an abbreviation of my name or something that sounded similar. Think if my name is Victoria and he kept calling me Theresa. I picked him up on it each time and he'd apologise and laugh, but then at the end of the evening just said 'I much prefer the name Theresa, I'm just going to call you that'.

He seemed surprised that I didn't want to see him again.

Whenischristmas · 05/12/2015 20:19

I went out with a man who had a closed mouth sandpaper kiss. It turned out he had a phobia of tongues Confused. I was already dreading his kiss as he was one if those people who collected white sticky blobs of saliva in the corners of their mouth when they talk. He also had completely hairless legs.

Whenischristmas · 05/12/2015 20:23

Another guy I went out with recently kept ringing me up after we met saying, I'm not fucking sharing you, over and over again. I said, okaaaay.

When he started saying, are you my bitch? I made my excuses.

Lacoba66 · 05/12/2015 20:35

To my shame the 'bluetac' man also used to brush his carpets with a nail brush (hated footprints- lol).

It is funny now... Actually it's just bloody funny all round! Weirdos galore!

thequickbrownfox · 06/12/2015 06:53

Orange1969 I'm literally in tears reading your post, he sounds the sexual equivalent of the Gruffalo!!

niceupthedance · 06/12/2015 07:25

Went back to his flat after a night out, it was covered in paintings he had done... Of monkeys eating human hands.

We had sex and he drooled on me throughout, on my face, excessively. Frankly, it was disgusting and made me feel sick.

msrisotto · 06/12/2015 08:28

A guy I had been sleeping with dating for a couple of months offered to get a tattoo of my name, then proceeded to give me a plaque with a shit poem he had written engraved on it, revealing his literacy level of an average 10 year old.

SlipperyJack · 06/12/2015 10:13

Running my tongue over a (long)ex-BF's stomach, only to get a ball of fluff from his belly button. Bleurgh.

Orange1969 · 06/12/2015 13:07

Haha thanks Fox Grin

Haha at monkeys eating hands

Trills · 06/12/2015 13:28

I was already dreading his kiss as he was one if those people who collected white sticky blobs of saliva in the corners of their mouth when they talk.

Much as I admire your dedication to the cause of "good stories about bad dates", you never ever have to kiss someone. It's not rude to decline a kiss.

PoorFannyRobin · 06/12/2015 13:58

Paintings of monkeys eating human hands! Oh, my God! Somehow this has made me poke myself in the eye. Don't even know how!

swisscheesetony · 06/12/2015 14:02

Skimread one on pof who claimed to be crb checked so "you don't need to worry".

CruCru · 06/12/2015 14:57

Hmmm. I am old and have been married a long time but

  • saw one guy briefly (friend of a friend). Had baaaad tattoos (bollocks tribal ones and one that spelt E N G L A N D across his forearm). Was terrible in bed - I think just inexperienced but kept saying "how do you know about this then?" I'd come out of a LTR and I think most of his sex knowledge came from porn.
  • One bloke tried to chat me up on the night bus and tried to make me miss my stop.
  • One bloke "accidentally" missed the last train home and "had" to stay at mine. Ugh.
Whenischristmas · 06/12/2015 15:33

The last man I met online had a broken leg. We arranged to have a coffee but he texted just before we met to say, could we leave the coffee as he wouldn't be able to carry the tray. I said no problem, I'll get the coffee if he could get from the car to a seat.

In the end we met in a car park and I sat in the passenger seat of his car (automatic.) He showed me his scar and his crutches. It was boiling hot.

He said he hadn't had sex for a year but would be ok if I could go on top Confused.

He asked to see me again. I said, let me know when you can walk. I haven't heard from him since.

lovedoughnuts · 06/12/2015 18:19

Orange1969 - thank you so much for posting about your experience!
I cried proper tears of laughter when I read it, and I tried to read it out loud to DH, and I couldn't speak as I was in hysterics!
I've been chuckling about it all day, you write very well, and the image that it conjured up in my mind was minging Smile!
Thanks again, you really made my day Wink

Orange1969 · 06/12/2015 19:38

Lovedoughnuts - thank you, glad I made you chuckle :)

I have seen stalked the guy on FB and his style has not improved.

austenozzy · 06/12/2015 20:14

I once went out with an over-keen Scottish bird with serial killer eyes and the furriest muff I have ever seen! Check it out:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=FV4CrP3jZh0

Adelecarberry87 · 06/12/2015 20:39

I once went out with a lad at universirt and we had sex for the first time together. I was pretty sure it was his first time as he seemed to have a nervous twitch whilst ontop of me. Worse still he dropped his chewing gum in my hair :o I soon got up to get it out my hair and went and shared a bed with my room mate and let him out in the morning.

BalloonSlayer · 06/12/2015 20:54

Anyone else trying to turn Orange's description of her would-be loverrrr into Gruffalo rhythm as fox suggested?

He had knock knees
And yellow toes
His flat feet smelled
Of a thousand woes

His knuckles were red
His willy was slack
He had terrible spots
All over his back

Cloppysow · 06/12/2015 23:10
  1. He called me puppy.
  1. He told me i was "deliciousssssssssss'
  1. He stole my chequebook. I only found out when the police called and told me a man had been trying to cash my cheques in the local shop.
  1. He told me he was a functioning alcoholic and hadn't been able to have sex for over 18 months because he couldn't keep it up. He didn't see the two as related.
  1. He was really full on. It made me really shy but i decided i should try to push through my shyness. I was honest with him about how shy he made me feel. He said "i think i know why you're so shy, you've been raped haven't you?" Game over.