Would you buy a house with DP if you haven't lived together before?

[Tearsoffrustration]

Rather than renting first - just incase

We bought together before we'd lived together. We both owned houses and didn't want to encroach on each other's territory so decided to start afresh together. We had been together a few years by then though and knew each other very well. We also were very particular about backing up the paperwork side of things (life insurance, legal agreements etc)
15yrs down the line, 10yrs of marriage and I'd say it was the right thing to do.

No but if you intend to make sure you agree everything with regards to the finances beforehand. Things like mortgage, bills, food, savings etc.

Dh and I lived together prior to buying but it was a room at a place we both worked then a year in my parents spare room. So no real responsibility, one "board" payment etc. We bought a beautiful flat after a year at my folks, and nearly ten years later are still there, now married with two dcs.

Nope! You know someone a lot better when you live with them! It would be a lot more sensible to rent first if possible.

No I think they should move in with you first

No.
No
No...

Don't do it!

No. It's too hard to get out of if it goes tits up down the line.

We did, still together 11 years later. But we weren't naive loved-up young things, I was divorced and DH had been in a LTR before he met me. I owned my own flat but it wasn't big enough for the both of us, plus I wanted us to both be on an equal footing (at that point I had all the money) when we moved in together.

For us it was the right thing but I wouldn't advise it for a young couple starting out.

yes i did. bought in 2011, now on our 2nd home & married.

I did. We were in a long distance relationship and were engaged - we bought a house and moved in together 6 months before the wedding. I suppose it was brave but it felt absolutely right. Main thing for us I think is that we were 35 and 40 when we did it so I think we KNEW it would work, and it has.

That said we made a Will when we bought the house, and also made sure we got the correct Tenants in Common mortgage with contributions all defined, as Pudding says. We also had life insurance benefitting the other / the mortgage. We didn't go so far as to have a written agreement in place to lay out what we'd do if we split, but we made it clear who had contributed what and we agreed that we would each get back what we'd put in.

I was lucky as I think DH is the only other human on the planet I could live with without wanting to kill them on a daily basis. In fact I'm still amazed I found anyone I could live with at all. We're 4 years on and all is well.

we did ensure that our mortgage was Tenants in Common with our individual contributions clearly defined, so that had it not worked out, we would at least have known where we stood financially.

This is what we're currently doing.

We've been together a number of years and lived 1/4 mile away from each other. After years of paying 2 x rent and bills, we decided it was stupid so started saving for a house, after getting a joint account a year or so ago.

In August we decided I'd give up my house and move in with him and we've had an offer accepted on a house so we're looking to exchange in Jan and (hopefully) complete late Jan / Feb.

Despite wanting to spend the rest of my life with my partner (I'm proposing to him on Boxing day!) We are both very practical, therefore will be drawing up wills, a mutual declaration of trust / tennants in common which defines what we've brought financially to the relationship.

And before we get married, we will get a pre-nup created.

I'd rather 'Have it and not need it, than need it and not have it' :)

Yes definitely

yup. We did. (married 27 years, lived together in the house we bought jointly for six months before that)

Hmm quite an even split - slightly more nos

I'm still paying half a mortgage on a house my ex of 18 months is living in so I'm aware of those issues!

My DP has just had to move due to his landlord deciding to sell & at the moment feels like he never wants to move again! We want to TTC soon after moving in together and I'm not happy to be in the insecure position of a rented property and realistically would not want the stress of moving when pregnant / with a small baby.

No! Me and an ex bought a house before we'd lived together I don't know what we were thinking!, and it was a total disaster. A few months after moving in we split up and it was a nightmare sorting the house out. I'd always advice people to cohabit in a rented place before making such a massive commitment as buying a property together. I'm not anti trying again with someone else (it was many years ago and I've got over the "never again" thoughts) but I would definitely rent first for at least 6 months before considering buying.

Looking at your last post, OP, I think you'd be hasty to say the least if you look for another house to buy when you still have to sort things out in your previous property.

Tears are you still named on the mortgage for the last house? That needs dealing with before you'd get another mortgage?

I would buy with my DP yes, rather than rent, for the same reason as you - the insecurity that comes from a tenancy especially when you have DC. But we have already talked about legal agreements that clearly define what happens if we were to split. You need to treat a house purchase like a business venture.

In your case, if you have a baby, you'll need to think about how you would keep that roof over your head should your DP not be around any longer.

Think through all the 'shit happens' options and plan legally to have them covered.

No way.

No way.

Oh yes got to sell the other house 1st - was with my ex for 10 years before we bought together and then split up 3 years later!

Yes we did straight after uni and first jobs. Still together 2 dc 24 years later.

I was about to say no fucking way - then realised I did just that

I forgot because we didn't go from house each into living together. I was working abroad at the time, and had let my flat out, and was travelling back to him on weekends. For 2x 6 month bursts with him I'd had apartments on the continent. So I guess we did part time together, but all my stuff was in storage, his was never my home.

We bought together, I carried on doing weekend but then at least my stuff was there and it was ours.

He was a flipping dirty pig!

But I don't regret the property situation. It wasn't hard to rectify. Within 3 weeks of splitting I'd offered on a house. He took over the mortgage and I took our savings as a deposit. The rest of the equity I was owed went under a legal charge. It wasn't problematic, because I had an exit plan.

I think it's OK to risk buying together untested if you have an exit plan.

No way José. I wouldn't, and especially not in your situation, because you're still financially tied to your ex. I would get that sorted and free yourself from that mortgage before even thinking about buying with someone else.

As for TTC... That's an even bigger commitment than buying a house with someone. Houses can be sold, children tie you together for life! I would want to live with someone for at least a year (preferably longer) before TTC. There are some things you don't find out until you live together, all of which are important to know before you decide to have a child together.

Why the rush?

Don't do it! I spent months unwinding a female friend's property arrangements when she split up with her partner. This was because in a flush of passion they
both sold up and rushed into buying together.
Soon he showed his true character and as they had purchased as JOINT OWNERS her much larger deposit share was lost to him. He then would not allow her to port a very favourable mortgage she had had for years. Apart from that she could not sell their new love nest because he disappeared,
Follow 'fluffy persian''s advice re property ownership registration if you really must do this.
Good luck!