Have to walk away from this man

[Walkingalonelady]

Please don't flame me.... But I got involved with a unavailable man a few months ago!

I fell head over heels for him and he says he feels exactly the same and will leave his GF yet his actions don't really match his words!

Just kind of feeling like I'm a hook up and nothing else and seriously doubting that he will ever leave, I seem to really only hear from him when he wants to get together and where as he used to come to mine for the night it's now all conducted from the hotel room where he stays during the week for work.

I know I have to end it, I know I deserve more and his GF certainly does, but I'm sad, I'm scared and secretly hoping it will kick him into action and make him so what he says he will because I'm not allowing him to have his cake and eat it.

I honestly have never never felt like this about anyone before, but I hate the way I feel like a teenager constantly chasing him.

This is going to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but now I don't know when to do it, if I contact him asking to see him then I'm chasing him..... Which I'm really trying to avoid doing or do I wait it out until he contacts me to meet and do it then?

No pun intended with "internal opportunity"

You are being used by this man,please find your dignity. Please listen to the wise posters here.He will never make you happy,you deserve more,remember that.

I love my job, it's not a major career but i love it, I love the people i work with and it fits in well around my children.

No he isn't my boss,he isn't actually employed by my company but he will be working there for the next year!

So yes I guess I got won over by a strapping 6ft 5" 45 year old guy in a hard hat

I know I have to do it, for everyone but mostly for myself, I need to get out if this now and limit the damage this is going to cause. And I am going to do it, I will not meet with I'm again!

I kind of feel like I have no control and he has it all, I made it to easy (totally my fault) and I just wish I could be the one to walk away with my head high and a tiny bit of dignity but I don't know how to do that

Take the control back then.

Just a simple text is all it takes, but you do need to mean it.

45? How old are you?

You don't work for a rail company do you? I know of a prolific cheat who fits that description

I'm 35!

No I work in a hotel

And yes I do mean it, I have to and will end it

Do it now then

Are you saying that this strapping 6ft 5" 45 year old married guy in a hard hat is banging you in the hotel that you work in, or does he have a room in another establishment?

When was the last time you hooked up with him?

He isn't married has a GF of 5 years, last time was last week!

I can't text tonight as know he is out for the evening so what's the point of sending a drunk man a text!

He can still read, can't he

Does he often get drunk on Wednesday nights ?

Shagging other women and a drink problem too. I can get what you see in him.

What anyfucker said. Just text him. Job done.

Even if he's drunk now he'll still have it on his phone in the morning. There will always be an excuse not to do it. Just get on and get it done.

Dump him and move on. Send the text and go to bed to sleep a righteous sleep!

A girlfriend of 5 years.
You really have sunk low, haven't you?

He's an arsehole.

You know you're not the first, right? Working away on his construction jobs, fucking whatever fool swallows his shit?

In your own hotel too. Professional.

Tawdry.

Not sure OP is due a righteous sleep, exactly.

The last time you shagged him was a week ago and, as he hasn't bothered toarrange another session this week, sending him a text tonight will make you look desperate as it will appear that you're trying to attract his attention.

The time to ditch him is when he contacts you again.

Nah, if she waits until he makes contact she will be so pathetically glad he made that call her resolve will crumble

Take control now would be my advice. Or it won't happen.

Evens on the OP being talked into a shag by Mr Hunky Hard Hat tonight, AF?

If it weren't for having to be reliant on the OP's honesty in the matter, I'd offer 10/1 she'll drop her drawers for him before he goes home for the weekend.

Can I just add home to his girlfriend?

Get some morals and self respect OP.

5/1 his girlfriend of 5 years has retained that status because he's not yet divorced from his wife and mother of his dc.

It occurs to me that the GF may have posted on this site in the not too distant past. 'My DP has form for cheating and will be spending his working week away for the next year - subtext should I trust him?'. 'I've been with my DP for 5 years and care for his dc every other weekend but he still hasn't divorced his wife' - subtext should I trust his promise of jam tomorrow marriage'. Or variations on these themes.

goddessofsmallthings that's exactly the reason why I don't want to contact him out the blue, I would rather wait until I see him it he contacts me, I see him most days at work!

He def hasn't got a wife or any children of his own, but yes he does have a girlfriend!

I'm working late tonight so chsnges are I will see him as he is staying in hotel so full prepared and ready to end it this evening

And then with your new free time you're going to have a think about why it was acceptable to you to get involved in this sordid little cheating arrangement?

His lucky lucky girlfriend

Like I have said I'm really not proud of myself, he told me he was leaving....in hindsight I should of said ok you do that and let me know when you have sorted that out...., but I didn't I believed all his bullshit and fell for him and just made it all far to easy!

This is the first time I have ever done anything like this and I certainly will never do it again