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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm married to the nastiest, shittiest dick in all the land...and I want to cast a spell

56 replies

FundraisingPTABitch · 21/11/2015 03:09

So that all the love, effort, comfort, support I've given to this fucker comes back to me 20x more every single day and that I live a long long long time...

So that no one ever loves him again, and he walks this entire world for the next 80 years without feeling the love and comfort I provided him. I also want him to feel every single painful feeling he has caused me. I want him to feel just as lonely as I do in this marriage. I want him to feel every pain I felt during both my pregnancies carrying his children.

I want him to regret every mean thing he has ever said to me. I want him to regret every time he's ignored me. I want him to regret losing the beautiful home and family I gave him.

I want him to get really really fat, with swollen ankles. I want him to get kidney stones the size of watermelons weighing 11lbs and 8lbs respectively.

I want him to have to piss out both stones.

I want him to never have a delicious meal ever again.

I want him to discover the true nature of his fucked up family.

I wish the shittiest gifts of all time for the rest of his life.

I wish every single one of his electronics never work ever.

I wish his wifi connection to be slow, slower than my metabolism.

I wish for the world to remind him of the beautiful 9 years I gave him and of the 9 shitty years he gave me.

OP posts:
Zucker · 21/11/2015 10:04

Have you left him yet?

CakeMountain · 21/11/2015 10:10

Flowers Get out OP.

Justaboy · 21/11/2015 10:24

Do we err, have any witches on MN:?

RiceCrispieTreats · 21/11/2015 10:26

I love your spell!

I hope you keep on writing.

puddymuddles · 21/11/2015 10:35

Thinking this way will only hurt you OP. Best to forget him and concentrate on making the rest of your life wonderful.

IcecreamBus · 21/11/2015 10:37

I happen to be a witch. I'm not a troll though! Don't worry OP, his nastiness will catch up with him eventually.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 21/11/2015 10:39

Op you can also wish something about cock rot if you want.

ssd · 21/11/2015 10:48

icecream bus, do you really think his nastiness will catch up with him?

how?

iminshock · 21/11/2015 10:54

so do hope you have dumped him

kerbs · 21/11/2015 10:56

OP, did you give birth to an 11lb baby? or am I overthinking this?

IcecreamBus · 21/11/2015 11:16

ssd I say this because horrible people tend to reap their own rewards. When you treat people like dirt, you tend to end up with nobody to turn to anymore.

WellWhoKnew · 21/11/2015 11:39

If your wish works, can you re-cast it elsewhere?

TIA

Branleuse · 21/11/2015 11:54

SO MOTE IT BE :D

RiceCrispieTreats · 21/11/2015 12:44

In terms of just desserts, I think horrible people must actually feel terrible inside.

Sure, they are sometimes better at acquiring material comforts. But it must feel horrible to be them.

I don't know a single shitty person who wasn't eaten up by insecurity.

LovelyFriend · 21/11/2015 15:13

I didn't know XP had married! Smile

Original poster
FundraisingPTABitch · 22/11/2015 21:53

Hi guys,

sorry I have gone missing for a bit, children had birthday parties and we have to play 'happy family' till I sort out what to do.

I did in fact give birth to an 11lbs baby. He's a mighty boy now too, but 11lbs, do you know I was only 6 stones at the start of that pregnancy, but by the end there were no abs, or core muscles left.

I'm still full of anger, resentment and just plain sadness.

OP posts:
Original poster
FundraisingPTABitch · 22/11/2015 22:50

On one hand, I want to leave him.

On the other hand, but what about all the effort I've put in? I want him to give me all my love, energy back to me. I've made such a wonderful sexy, confident, successful man out of this flannel wearing unibrow sporting snivelling bastard.

I really don't want anyone else to benefit from all my hard work. I've supported this fool. I've made something quite amazing out of him.

He isn't physically abusive, just mildly emotionally abusive. He's a prick. We have a child with SEN and I won't be able to provide the therapy our child needs if I leave. The therapy is time sensitive and isn't provided here through the LSA and in general is seen as 'experimental' in the UK where as it is standard and 'evidence based treatment' in the country I am from. However, because my children were born here I won't be able to sort out the same therapy in my home country without serious interruption to my dc's current programme--and if I did, it could still be quite detrimental. Not to mention the emotional devastation it would cause the kids.

I'm fucked. I'm fat. I'm hungry and angry = hangry.

He is easily controlled by sex and beautiful women, I don't control him with sex...I don't control anyone (because I don't believe love is about control) and I am no longer anything close to a beautiful woman. I have seen him become putty in the hands of lots of women. I'm amazed he hasn't cheated on me yet.

Any woman can just tell him how much she admires him and he's wrapped around her finger. This happened in marriage counselling

I was thinking maybe, I could get hot (skinny and sexy) while my child finishes therapy and then leave this shitty little dick.

He is a complete asshole though. Loose, hairy and floppy.

You know whats sad though? We were in love once. I would look at him, into his eyes and time would actually stop. There was no comfort like his arms around me. Nothing was more electric than him telling me of his plans for us, our family, our future.

We were happy...and then we weren't. Just a few moments of beautiful perfection.

I loved him. I loved 'us'. I still want us. I think he just got comfortable with how much I was giving that he thought giving any of himself would just be unnecessary, and so he happily took what I gave and he thought that was enough.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 23/11/2015 03:00

You live in tomorrow-land quite a bit.

That is a pity, because life is what happens today.

Leave the man-project to whoever wants him, and start a single-life-with-child project.

Maybe you will find someone who is capable of giving. You will know this because they will give from the start. You can't make someone do this if they don't have it in them.

TooSassy · 23/11/2015 17:14

OP. You've put his guy on a pedestal. Emotionally certainly.

You say you don't want to control him but equally you don't want anyone else to have him/ be with him.

Is he happy?
Are you happy?
Life is just too short!

FYI. I'm going through a divorce and people would say that I am (relatively) skinny. It doesn't help one bit. Because when you come out of a relationship where your confidence has taken a knock, it really doesn't matter what you look like. Oh, and the chances of meeting someone and moving on are slim when you have young children, because my focus is now them.

So how you look is largely irrelevant.
Your confidence sounds rock bottom OP. Be kinder to yourself!

Jan45 · 23/11/2015 17:21

Wow, just wow, you are actually staying with him after writing all that, so sad.

You only get one life OP, you sound very confused.

To have so much loathing for another person yet still be their partner is beyond my comprehension.

ssd · 23/11/2015 20:20

op, you say he's wonderful then you call him an asshole.

it would be interesting to hear his side of it, as your side of it just confuses me.

MissApple · 23/11/2015 20:36

Have you read the Sunk Cost theory? If not, you should x

BitOutOfPractice · 23/11/2015 21:26

I don't know what to make of this.

You write in such an oddly, stylised way, like its about someone else.

It's deeply depressing either way

Zucker · 23/11/2015 22:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get no medals at the end you know.

AnyFucker · 24/11/2015 23:02

Deeply depressing indeed