I'll try and be brief!
My Dh and I have been together for 13 years. We have a DS who's 3. We used to have a lot of fun going out when we didn't have DS, but now I feel like going out clubbing with mates is really all we had in common. I don't feel like we share interests now.
That's only part of the problem, my main issue is that I feel like my husband is participating in our lives rather than contributing.
Positives: He's brilliant with DS, he spends really quality time with him playing. He takes him out on walks and to the park and they enjoy their time together. He does bath and bedtime pretty much every night while I do the cooking. As a husband he is financially dependable (he doesn't earn masses but it's enough), I know he loves me, he's pretty chilled about what I do and let's me have time with friends and freedom. He's attractive and intelligent.
Negatives for me: He doesn't take the initiative in anything, either big or small. He does do stuff around the house, but he thinks if he's unstacked the dishwasher or put a load in the washing machine then he's done his bit for the day. I'm constantly picking stuff up behind DH and DS, he can live with mess around him, whereas I find it difficult. We've lived in our house for 2 years and I think he's cleaned the bathroom twice. He's got a load of old paperwork shoved into files which all needs sorting and shredding or filing. I put it up in the loft because I was sick of looking at it, but he needed to get something so it all came back down again and he promised my faithfully that he would sort it out. That was 6 months ago, it's still in the corner of out bedroom. I do all the household filing and paperwork. I sort all insurances, car tax and MOT, he wouldn't have a clue if we were properly insured or not. We have a mortgage based life insurance policy which was attached to our old property so if we drop down dead then it wouldn't be enough to cover our current mortgage, we spoke about it when we first moved in but he is completely oblivious that it still needs sorting.
His driving licence is still registered at his mum's house, he's 41! His passport has just run out and I have this feeling that it will probably get to holiday time and it will be a mad rush to sort it out.
I have been the driving force of the homes we have bought, they've both been do-er up-ers, unless I say shall we do such and such it will not get done. We currently have a project which will basically pay off our mortgage when it's finished, I instigated us doing it.
Even driving, it's improved over the last few weeks but over the years, I've been like a driving instructor when going anywhere because he can't be arsed to remember the way round our city!
I could actually go on and on with examples over the years.
Fundamentally, I just want him to have a bit more passion about stuff. To suggest stuff and have an opinion.
He's not much of a talker, most conversations are started by me.
I would be flabbergasted if one weekend he said 'right, let's do such and such'. It always gets to the weekend and I casually suggest stuff to do as a family and I all I get is 'yeah' or 'I don't know/mind'.
Like I say, I could go on and on. I'm just getting really tired with having to keep the ship sailing.
We have spoken about this a few times over the years. A couple months ago I was really down about it and I told him it was making me unhappy. He always agrees that he should take more initiative and he makes an effort for a few weeks but then it goes back to normal. He has a terrible memory which I think is part of the problem but other people manage to conduct their lives by writing lists and reminders for themselves.
Sorry turned into an essay!!
Am I being unreasonable to want more out of a marriage?