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Original poster

How would you take his silence?

33 replies

Homepride1 · 02/11/2015 20:01

So have been seeing a guy for a couple of months now, seems to be this huge connection, and he seems and tell me how much he likes me, talks about future, sets dates in advanced etc but things seem great for a week or so then he seems to go cold and pretty much ignore me for a week (except for minimum polite contact) then he comes back all great again

This has been confusing me greatly so today I sent a text that was perfectly polite and to the point basically saying that I'm confused because you say that you like me slot and that we have a future yet you regularly go cold on me, I told him I like him a lot and if he doesn't feel the same that's fine but I just need him to be straight with me!!

And guess what he hadn't replied!!!! So I'm guessing I have my answer, surly if that wasn't the case you would be keen to set the record straight.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 02/11/2015 20:07

I'd take the initiative. As I've got older I've got better at telling people what my needs are and dropping people who don't treat me as they'd want to be treated.

ALaughAMinute · 02/11/2015 20:34

Slow down a bit, you've only been seeing him a couple of months!

Sillysillywoman · 02/11/2015 20:42

It may only be a couple of months but still should go cold on you like that.
I wouldn't be happy but then again my boyfriend is a cheating arse so what do I know.

ImperialBlether · 02/11/2015 20:46

So she should put up with him ignoring her for a week, just because she's only known him a couple of months?

VocationalGoat · 02/11/2015 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seeyounearertime · 02/11/2015 20:49

I think it's definitely something to ask about, maybe he's just busier one week a month and he hasn't mentioned why.

Original poster
Homepride1 · 02/11/2015 20:54

Yes he is busy with work but I mean he blantly blanks me, we don't text/speak all the time but I could send a quick hiya how's you text on a wends after not speaking to him for 2/3 days and I actually will get no reply at all until the following week when he is all smiles and hey I will come over!

He talks like we are heading somewhere but starting to get like I'm actually just a bootycall

So that why I put the question to him straight with no drama, yet he couldn't even reply to that

OP posts:
Seeyounearertime · 02/11/2015 21:02

How very odd. There's no real reason for totally blanking like that.
Even if he ran out of credit he should go get more if he gets a message?

kittybiscuits · 02/11/2015 21:04

He definitely blows hot and cold. It's no fun at all being on the receiving end of it.

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/11/2015 21:05

'Hey I will come over' ?

Yeah, booty call. His silence tells you all you need to know.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 02/11/2015 21:07

Life's too short for this crap.

You've asked him that question straight and he is responds by ignoring you. Well he's dumped himself then hasn't he?

At least you found out he was a game playing treat 'em mean keep 'em keen wanker twat sooner rather than later. I wonder if he's seeing how much you'll tolerate?

AnyFucker · 02/11/2015 21:08

yes, you have it right

You are a booty call. Is that ok with you ?

Shakey15000 · 02/11/2015 21:09

Definitely sounds like he's playing you and I wouldn't waste my time on him.

Original poster
Homepride1 · 02/11/2015 22:15

No that's not ok with me at all, we have been out on dates and he talks slot about how much he likes me and a future just like I say blowing hot and cold!

Guess I will just have to wait and see what happens from here and if I actually get any answers!

OP posts:
RealityCheque · 02/11/2015 22:18

He probably says the same to his other women too. Player.

AnyFucker · 02/11/2015 22:37

why wait to see what he does

if this isn't acceptable to you, bring it to a close yourself

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 03/11/2015 00:00

What answer could possibly make it acceptable behaviour?

Why on earth do you think you just have to wait and see ?

HortonWho · 03/11/2015 00:16

I use to have a busy job which involved a lot of international travel in my single days. I still managed to text and email the men I was interested in, even while working an 80hr week and being in a different time zone. In fact, I made a huge effort to do so as I didn't want them to think I'd regularly disappear for weeks at a time, if we did progress in the relationship. I didn't make the same effort with the ones I wasn't so keen on and those men did hear a lot of excuses about my mad schedule, our time difference, blah blah blah.

When you like someone, you act interested and you also want to keep them interested in you too.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 03/11/2015 00:42

Yes. You have your answer. Sorry.

Cabrinha · 03/11/2015 08:09

Another one that travels a lot for work, single parent, hectic schedule.
I started seeing someone a month back.
This morning we took the 2 minutes it needs for me to tell him I still feel rough with cold, and I know he's running late for work cos his daughter is faffing.
If you're interested in someone, there's always time for short contact.
I sent my text sat waiting for take off on a plane.
If they like you, they'll contact you.

51howdidthathappen · 03/11/2015 10:03

Delete his number. Take back control. He is history.

showsomeclass · 03/11/2015 10:40

My partner did this after 3 months of dating. We were literally texting every day, seeing each other every weekend, then boom - nothing for a week. I decided not to contact him at all then out the blue, he sent me this long email and asked me to see him. I didn't email straight back, left it a couple of days, then agreed I would. When I saw him I said if you ever do that to me again, I won't.. he hasn't since :-)

A few weeks ago, I referred back to it as it really hurt me. He said he had such strong feelings for me so quickly, he was trying to decide whether to go with it - or not! Might not be all bad, but don't contact him at all and if you do hear from him, don't reply immediately. Then if you do see him again - address it and let him know you won't be treated like that again

ImperialBlether · 03/11/2015 11:28

Have a think about it. Is he ever nice to you on a day that doesn't have a shag in it?

TPel · 03/11/2015 11:40

I wouldn't wait and see. Take the control back in your life and move on. The first few months of a relationship are supposed to be fun fun fun. Playing mind fuck with you is horrible.
I know I wouldn't put up with it.

Wotsitsareafterme · 03/11/2015 13:37

My dp works a ridiculous amount and has 40 sites he works on plus he does private work in the evenings. He is never out of touch for more than a couple of hours and it's been this way from the beginning. I make a similar effort and I juggle a demanding job and 2 kids.
You need to read the book 'he's just not that into you' it will set you free.

Op this guy is a knob

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