Is anyone else amazed by how supportive their DP is?

[Evenhasawatermark]

I'm going through an awful, prolonged depressive episode and am aware how draining it is to be around me. DP is being amazing, when I first met him he didn't believe in depression, since being with me he has researched everything, paid for private treatment, helped me with my DD, and generally just been an unwavering pillar of support.
Not a boast so much as a moment of clarity at how brilliant he is!
Does anyone else feel so lucky in their relationships?

I hope my OH says such nice things about me.
She suffered from anxiety bless her and I realise all I can really do is listen and be here for her.
Mind you I do also do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, looking after DD..... But that's because he works and Im a SAHD. :)

Oh a lovely partner thread! I did not think they existed!

I'm very lucky, DP cooks most of the time, this week I discovered he buys food he dislikes and prepares them because he thinks they are good for me. We've been together five years and I still regularly witness him doing something I would never expect him to do.

Mine is endlessly supportive and was especially so when I had BC. I love him.

I can never understand those who claim they don't feel blessed etc as they don't view their OH as amazing as it's how relationships should be.

It is ok to appreciate somebody you know! I wouldn't accept anything less then the brilliant DH I have but there is nothing wrong with valuing him. You only have to scroll through the relationships board on here to see not everybody is a good egg! It does no harm if both of you recognise you'd onto something good, if anything it builds love as you realise just how irreplaceable they are. Rant over!

Moopy I do feel blessed and I think my DH is amazing for loads of reasons, such as always thinking of thoughtful and romantic gifts for me, giving me his coat if I'm cold, sending me on surprise weekends away when I need a break, bringing me breakfast in bed etc.

However I don't think "being supportive" or "doing half the housework" is amazing to me as those are things I expect as a basic minimum in a relationship. I think we cause ourselves problems when we start to idolise and admire men because they do half the childcare/housework, isn't that what they should be doing as a given?

moopy - the OP didn't ask if we appreciated our other half, or loved him, or if we had a lovely OH, she asked if anyone was amazed how supportive their OH is - that's the point.

Yes to appreciative
Yes to grateful
Yes to being thankful
No to being amazed. That's all.

moopy I DO appreciate my DH, I DO love him, and I DO feel lucky. That's the point of the thread. I know how lucky I am, I was in a terrible relationship before I met him, it was hideous, I didn't see it at the time, and until I met DH, I didn't know just how wonderful being in a positive, healthy, mutually respectful relationship could be. And I'm amazed by how supportive and loving he can be to me. And I deserve it. Not because he'll run a Hoover round or do the washing up, but because he's there for me 100% on my bad days, he gives me an arm to lean on and a shoulder to weep on, and then he'll give me a cuddle and remind me that tomorrow is a new day and that we'll meet it together as a team.

My dh is brilliant as well, my best friend, my rock and the kindest person I know.

Ok point taken everybody, I do sorta get what your saying about housework etc as he's not doing you a favour by doing his share eh :)

Just posting as the other side to the story to say I was warmed to read these lovely posts.

I had a DP who was kind and lovely and I thought our relationship was unbreakable but I got heath anxiety and he left me for it. Not even after very long, just about six months of it with it not even being every day, more waves of it. He acted like he supported me, as in he gave lots of cuddles and soothing words and then just left me one day and said it was too draining to live with and he didn't love me anymore. I was so sad and hurt and when I called him to ask if we could work through it he said life was more peaceful living without me and he preferred it. He said "with you those last months every headache was a brain tumour".

I've never recovered my self esteem from it. I feel horibly guilty, especially to my kids who lost their family unit, and have felt all this time like I'm not good enough to be loved through illness.

But I read your OP and the other posts and can see that he never researched it or suggested paying for treatment or did anything practical to try and help me or even understand it. I felt very alone in it and he acted like it wasn't a real illness and made me feel silly and even called me "crazy" behind my back.

Was always so confusing because he was such a loving DP and a good man in everyone's estimation...I always felt it must be me.

Bravo to your lovely supportive partners.

My DP is amazing I count my lucky stars every day that he has chosen me to spend the rest of his life with him.

He is a fantastic daddy to our precious daughter and he is so loving, caring and thoughtful I have to pinch myself sometimes.

A recent example is I dropped him off at the airport yesterday as he has gone away for work for the week and when I got home I had a message from him telling me he had left me little treats around the house for every day he was away and he would message me every morning when he got up to tell me which room to look in. I've had 2 up to now (nothing extravagant or expensive, just my favourite chocolates) and both had a lovely love note attached. He's just so thoughtful in everything he does.

I can't wait to become his wife next year.

This thread has really opened my eyes and I don't like what I am seeing

I have had an awful 24 months & Dh wasn't my rock . He became distant,I didn't know how tough it all was until it was over . I feel so let down.
Our relationship is broken & im not sure either of us are going to bother to take the steps to fix it.

Ye are very lucky .

I remembered what a keeper mine is a couple of hours ago.

I rang him because there seemed to be a dark figure following me home from the station and there's not a lot of light (or traffic) around our block.

His phone's microphone doesn't work and it meant that I got a lot of noise on the line and couldn't hear him at all, but I just said, breezily and cheerily, 'Hellooo, you can hear me, right? I'll be home in a minute, I'm just walking down the road'.

I got to our building about 30 seconds later, as he was flying like the wind out of the front door in order to come rescue me.

Secondtime

I'm afraid it's the same for me - I went through a period of depression after a parent died, and my DP basically refused to help me, refused to take on any more responsibility around the house, accused me of using prescription ADs as a crutch and questioned whether it was safe to leave me alone with DCs if I was having depressive thoughts.

Sorry to bring the thread down - honestly delighted to hear other people's good stories :)

It's lovely to read about supportive DP's. Mine's amazing and definitely a keeper. When I had depression with my ex he made it much worse and I suspect was part of the problem. My DP now, we were only together 6 weeks when my mental health massively spiralled. I started taking anti-depressants again which give me awful side effects for the first few weeks. DP let me crash at his and really looked after me and helped me get back on my feet. He always seems to know what to say when I'm feeling crap and stuck by me through all the times I pushed him away. I sometimes wonder how I ended up with him!

Just read the rest of the thread. secondtime and murdoch I'm sorry to hear about your relationships :( murdoch I could've written much of your post about my ex. It's horrible isn't it when you see how things are meant to be and how the reality is for you. Now I'm with my current (and hopefully forever) DP I can see how crap things were with my ex and it makes me feel so lucky to have him. Hope things with your DP are improving.

Backforgood I think you're arguing over semantics.

Never mind DH, I tell my children they are beautiful and amazing and wonderful all the time. Doesn't mean I don't know they are just normal children. But expressing your love of your family by exaggeration of their qualities is pretty normal. It makes people feel special and that is what you want to do when you love someone.

I knew he was a good, caring man before but I broke a vertebrae earlier this year and my husband has done things for me I never thought he would have to.
I've had to give up work, so he's taken on extra hours at work.
He does all the heavy housework as I'm not allowed to lift.
In short he is amazing and I am incredibly lucky to have met my internet weirdy.

Why do some people have to pick things apart like this? I've just read the replies and seen that I shouldn't be amazed by my DP as he is doing what is expected of him.
My partner should never be 'expected' to take up the parenting of a child who isn't his without question, even though we don't live together, because I am too tired/sad/irritable a lot of the time.
He should never be expected to hear a barrage of self loathing for months on end and still be able to be supportive and run his own business.
Sorry, this has upset me.

Even Don't expect much good to be said about men on MN... Be grateful for your partner and ignore.

Thank you, it really winds me up though. I actually appreciate when my DP cooks and cleans, he works more than full time running his business and I'm signed off on my depressed little lay down days. I aren't repressed. I am aware and grateful.

To be fair, you didn't say your DD wasn't his and that you didn't live together!

If you're not a family unit then it's fair enough.

My DH is wonderful - and the amazing part is that I'm quite sure I don't reciprocate nearly enough.

I met him when my kids were going through the terrible teens. He was never judgemental, never took sides, and saw it all through. (no kids of his own) He taught both DCs to drive and is a great friend to both. He's been a tremendous support to me in my career, especially when I left a huge salary to pursue a less lucrative and insecure path. He always takes my side, even when I might not be in the right. He has taught me what unconditional love is.

I'm much more critical, less patient and moody. I really am very lucky.

Kate, I said my DD, not our DD. We split ourselves between both of our houses.