anyone else have parents who were young in the 60's?

[CherryPicking]

If so, did you ever feel, growing up, like you'd missed everything?

I've been mulling things over and started to realise how being raised by 60's survivors in the 80's might be something other people can relate to?

I just remember this melancholy nostalgia permeating everything. And all the music in our house was either recorded between 1962-75 or classical... I think I know both my parents mainly my through the music they made me listen to - that's the main insight I have into them emotionally... Anyone else?

My parents were born in 55 and 57 respectively. They were young in the sixties and grew up in little Northern mining communities. Their sixties experience was characterised by fighting for the unions, picketing, protesting and being heavily involved in local socialist politics. The seventies saw them move out of home, spent most of their time going to see glam rock bands, dancing all night at discos and wearing flares. My Dad had longer hair than my Mum and his clothes featured more flowers. The theme tune to my childhood was motown.

My Mum was a baby boomer so a teenager when the 60s started and newly married and in her early 20s when they ended. Dad would have been in his 20s. But they were in the north of Scotland and the 60s didn't start there until the late 70s. Mum tells stories about friends from Uni who reckoned sex once a year would be more than enough, she said she knew enough to know that was funny but both my parents were virgins on their wedding night. Her father dictated when they would get married (he sensibly insisted she complete her professional training which she was very grateful for 20 years later when she went back to work).

They didn't like the Stones at all, the Beatles were 'OK', it was all country and western in their house when I was growing up. I disagree with your 'people who listened to the 60s music growing up understood BritPop' comment. Maybe it's because I'm a bit older than you so I remember listening to John Peel in the 80s and part of the appeal was quite how alien my parents found it. It was very easy to rebel against my parents, I was bright and not interested in marriage, into music they didn't understand and didn't 'save myself' for my husband. Last time I visited my Mum I got a row for wearing 'disgraceful' old converse trainers. I quite like that I can still be rebellious at my age .

My DM and DF were born in 1945 and I think the biggest impact on them was the fact that they were able to go to university, despite coming from working class backgrounds. I guess they were the first generation who were able to do this (albeit a small number of people).

I'm pretty sure they had a good time, I know they tried lots of drugs, and there was always lots of 60s music in the house growing up. I think the main influence was on their politics though. - leading to a childhood for me of CND/ anti thatcher marches.

I wonder if perhaps the 60s were a strong break from the past for some baby boomers, (I know my dad sees it like that) and that it left some people a bit lost?

I bet, Ena. You've just reminded me of his every bloody TV programme was 'well, you're too young to remember this but x did x in 1968'. "Of course I'm too bloody young I'd silently scream - I was born in 1981! But mum, dad don't you think something might be happening , you know, right now? Out there?" Cue blank looks.

Drove me crackers and still does.

Yy Frances - my parents - my mum in particular felt she'd made a strong break from a repressed upbringing - in my opinion she was still right there in it - working out her religious hangups etc and the tension with my grandparents on her side was always there - but to me it was hard to see a practical difference between their values - if my grandmother was picky about my lack of manners, my mother wouldn't defend me - she'd chip right in and use it as a stick to beat me with - even though she was the one bringing me up.

And I mean table manners like where my elbows should be. The really picky stuff not basic politeness.

My parents (sadly now deceased) were born in the early 40s and married in '62 at 21 (dad) and 19 (mum) so I probably fit your criteria. However they didn't do the hippy thing cos they had me ('64) and my brother ('65) quite early on in the marriage. I do remember them having fun though, my mum loved Glen Miller and big band but was also a folk singer, my dad loved blues and Elvis, and they were quite famous amongst friends and family for the way they jived together!

My early childhood was fantastic. Athough my dad had left the RAF by then he still worked in a related industry so they had a big friendship group and there were lots of parties and lots of music and laughter. It also helped that we lived by the seaside so distant family used to visit often in the summer too.

I don't remember any melancholy or nostalgia at all. We moved smoothly into the 70s and beyond with good memories but my parents brought me up to cherish the past but enjoy the present, a maxim I have always followed as an adult. I feel a little melancholy now though thinking how much I miss them still

"They are in that funny group of stragglers who are in their early 50s now -"

I'm 51. Never been labelled as a part of a funny group of stragglers before.

yambabe I'd like to learn how to cherish the past and enjoy the present. Very sorry for your loss.

My parents both turned 16 in 1960 but for them the 60's were just a decade like any other, they went to college, work, dated, grew up, got married, got a mortgage, had children. The whole 60's scene just passed them by as they got on with living their lives. They didn't live in a city so that might have had something to do with it.

My mum was a teenager in the 60s-70s and lived the hippy lifestyle, rejected her parents' values etc. I felt like I would never have such a great time as they had back then, that rebellion wasn't even possible in comparison. I felt straight, square, like Saffy from AbFab. Even when I went out to clubs, took drugs etc I never felt like I would be anything other than a shadow of my mum.

Only in more recent years have I realised that my mum was really relatively conforming and even though she did have some amazing adventures, her values and lifestyle aren't that different to her parents. I don't really know where I fit in to all this. I still feel in her shadow!

MsJuniper that's it - I felt like I was trying to live up to some hedonistic ideal and would always fail. My parents had declared the sixties were officially over and it was no use trying to have a good time! It was all done and dusted in hazy, summer light and sealed in photo albums for posterity...

I'm interested that you say your mum was actually closer to those old fashioned values than youd assumed - how so you mean?

My parents met at the end of the 60s. My mother lived in Esher and my father lived on the kings road. They knew many quite famous and infamous characters of that time. Growing up in heard some great stories.

They were far from being hippy but they were a bit bohemian. Both very lefties both believed in equality and both had affairs.

They were fairly laid back and loved company. I was treated and spoken to more as an equal than a child. We were often staying with friends weekends or had people staying. The house was open and everyone welcome as long as they made themselves at home. Conversations around the table were interesting and I have stayed friends with many people.

But yes I do believe my parents were selfish and hedonistic at times. I remember staying up all night at about age 7 so my parents could drink and play cards. I also remember missing weeks of school because my father would plan impromptu holidays or my mother preferred to take me shopping. But the music was fab

Well I guess her outlook and lifestyle as she has got older seem quite close to my GDPs, things like Christmas traditions, the importance of savings/pension/getting a 'good job', keeping a nice house, social clubs and outings. Cake forks and fish knives. Somehow a lot more sensible and suburban than you might expect in light of the hippy trail adventures, cow bells and guitars. Looking back I can see that although my GPs (and she) thought she was leading a very alternative lifestyle, lots of her teenage stories involve my GF picking up or dropping off her and her friends.

I had a strong impression that music, love, drugs etc had all happened and it was as good as it would ever get. My travels, partying etc were just things I did, rather than being part of some wider movement. Even now I feel stupid writing that, fraudulent even. I have lived quite an unusual lifestyle in some ways but it feels like I am always going to be classed as a bit staid and boring.

It is quite interesting thinking about it in this way. I think maybe my mum battled against wanting to be different and wanting to please/echo her parents and maybe I am doing the same thing now.

Nine were young in the 60's and i was born 1977.

They did listen to 'their' music but also modern stuff, in much the same way that i do now. I heard a lot about my mum and her guitar, scooter and flowery helmet! Also mini skirts. Perfectly good childhood for me. My parents were pretty cool!

I wonder how much the 60s were a change for most people? And whether many people did feel part of a wider movement?

Or was it just a chance for some to rebel before settling down to live a life close to their parents lifestyle?

I think for my parents it was the politics that kept it all going, so they still live a fairly non materialistic lifestyle, my mum works in a job she sees as an extension of her politics etc.

Frances I wish I could say the same for my parents - they don't understand my need to work towards a better world at all. I think that decade was frankly wasted on them.

I lived my teenage years in London, it was all about clothes and clubbing, music, dancing and wearing the right stuff.

Poor working class, couldn't give a stuff about politics, never met a hippy or anyone who went on a march.

The decade was probably wasted on me too.

It sounds like your parents are just quite rigid people, OP, and that their attitude to the 60s is just one expression of that.

I think the time when you are young and most free can be special to everyone, whatever the decade.
The 60s gets banged on about so much it is has become a myth promoted by the self-important generation who were young then. The historians who write about it are an example of that.

I was a 60s teenager and loved every minute even though my family were as poor as church mice. I still went to all night parties, smoked pot and listened to the music on pirate radio. My parents were young at heart and also embraced it all although I was a bit resentful because I thought they should act their age

self-important generation who were young then

Self-confident generation, more like. And we still are.

Both DH and I have parents who were just at the right age to enjoy the 60s. Their experience could not be more different. His parents were (and are) quite conventional: they listened to rock and roll (The Shadows!), wore quite tweedy clothes, never really travelled, and got straight onto the career ladder. In many ways, their life wasn't that different from someone in the 1920s, except they had more stuff and more security. My parents were hippies who lived in a commune with crazy hair, tie dye, drugs, and trips all over the blooming place (both psychological and actual travel! Sometimes I'm not convinced they know the difference).

My point is that there can be quite extreme variation between people who experienced the same decade!! Some people seem to be right on the pulse of history, others quite a long way outside it.

Oh, and a favourite quote from a guy who is one of my favourite boomers:

'The great generation gave their lives so that future generations could live the best life possible. The baby boomers expect all future generations to give their lives so that they can live the best life possible now'.

Always makes me smile (especially as he himself is a living exception to this rule).

Self-confident is probably true Seneca. There was a feeling of being part of something that gave that confidence. My mum is a very confident woman and she can't understand that I am constantly doubting myself and worrying. That's partly my personality, but it's also true to say that I have always felt I could never live up to the amazing life she had and talked about through my childhood.

I don't think my sister as affected by the 60s thing, she is quite happy and comfortable in herself - maybe because she has very mainstream tastes? It could be that. Or maybe because I was the first I heard more about the idyllic hippy stuff.