I'm a single mum to my 1 year old dd. Her dad and I broke up earlier this year but have still been acting like a couple despite living an hour away from each other. He stays over every weekend and sleeps on the couch/blow up bed and we occasionally sleep together. He tells me he loves me and I love him too but we'be had a lot of issues. We were friends for a long time before we got together and he was never someone I thought I'd end up with but it happened and we found out I was pregnant 2 years into the 'relationship' - we were on and off for a while.
I had an awful pregnancy due to antenatal anxiety/depression and then after dd was born, I unsurprisingly suffered with PND. I'm now on medication and have therapy so I'm getting back to my normal self. I lost my mum a year before I became pregnant so that was a huge contributing factor.
Anyway fast forward to now and I'm in a bit of a mess. Since we broke up, we've both assummed that one day we'd get back together and couldn't picture a future any other way. However, I know without a doubt that I want another baby in a few years whereas he's adamant that he doesn't want any more children. There are other issues too - we don't have much in common, we disagree on a lot of things and he's very jokey/sarcastic whereas I'm more serious (his words). I would say I'm more mature. We're 26 and 27 by the way.
Last night I asked him what we were doing and whether he thinks we'll ever get back together. He said he assumed we would but also admitted that we're kidding ourselves because we don't fit together and obviously the 2nd baby thing is a huge factor. But then he asked why I had to bring it up now and why I couldn't wait until after Christmas because it won't be as good now we know we're never getting back together. I had to know though. I can't keep pretending and not knowing where I stand. I need to know whether I'm a single mum and whether I will continue to live in this house with our dd or whether we'll all be together as a family soon.
I just feel so crap about everything and need some opinions or advice? I know this was a long read.