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Original poster

Can some one cheat on you in a fwb situation

40 replies

jesy · 09/10/2015 08:58

Simple question , if you and your friends with benefits mate agree that it just sex until they find the one is it cheating if they date some one else and not tell you or just a bit wrong

OP posts:
gatewalker · 09/10/2015 09:04

No, I don't think it's cheating at all. If someone believes it is, then they are personally not in a FWB arrangement.

Joysmum · 09/10/2015 09:08

Depends whether you've had the exclusivity chat? My perception of FWB is a casual arrangement for sex, nothing more so there's no cheating possible. If somebody else's FWB arrangement is different then clearly cheating is possible.

Audweb81 · 09/10/2015 09:08

Not cheating at all. A FWB arrangement is not the same as a committed relationship, I thought the point was just to have sex while you're not in a relationship with someone?

Offred · 09/10/2015 09:09

In theory someone can cheat in any arrangement if you have an agreement or common understanding that is broken.

If you are FWB and the agreement is you have sex till you meet someone else you would have a relationship with that implies you do not want a relationship with each other and dating other people is something you are each going to do. Dating other people is part of the agreement IMO.

If you feel hurt by this is it because FWB arrangement is not actually what you want IMO.

PurpleDaisies · 09/10/2015 09:11

If you feel hurt by this is it because FWB arrangement is not actually what you want IMO.

This.

What's your situation? Are you the hurt one or do you have a pissed off fwb?

BolshierAryaStark · 09/10/2015 09:30

FWB is no strings casual sex so no I don't believe cheating is possible within such an arrangement.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 09/10/2015 09:31

No, cheating is not possible in this set up.

brokenhearted55a · 09/10/2015 09:33

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F0rmerlyKnownAsXenia · 09/10/2015 09:37

So you've agreed to be exclusive for a year ? Then surely you are in a relationship and not FWB, which is just casual sex ?

Please tell me you are using condoms as well as on the pill ?

brokenhearted55a · 09/10/2015 09:42

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brokenhearted55a · 09/10/2015 09:43

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DrMorbius · 09/10/2015 09:57

wow brokenhearted55a you really do have the right UserName.

F0rmerlyKnownAsXenia · 09/10/2015 09:57

So he hinted that he wanted to be exclusive, so you would go on the pill and he didn't have to use condoms any more. Nice .

So you know what to do - have nothing else to do with him .

Get an STD check .

Don't make the same mistake again . Always use a barrier method as well .

Try not to get your heart broken by users .

brokenhearted55a · 09/10/2015 10:02

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F0rmerlyKnownAsXenia · 09/10/2015 10:04

I would think that I'd dodged a bullet . That its great that I found out what he's really like before I moved in with him or had a child with him .

brokenhearted55a · 09/10/2015 10:08

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Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 09/10/2015 10:09

brokenhearted FWB is supposed to be just that. A bit of fun for both parties with no strings attached. Not 'oh well i'll fuck you for a year'. What the hell??

Just because we are all sexually liberated these days doesn't mean that we have to put up with shit treatment, half relationships or any other kind of crap.
Learn from it, move on, and set your boundaries better next time around.

ToTheGups · 09/10/2015 10:16

If it is just FWB then no its not cheating to date anyone else. Although I would prefer to be exclusive and have spoken about it with my current FWB. I think it depends on why you are having a FWB, if you are both just not in a position to have a relationship at the moment then I think exclusivity is not too much to ask for. If they have openly admitted they want a relationship but just not with you, well then you have to expect them to be dating and work out if that is OK with you.

The only way FWB works is if both parties are honest and upfront about what they want and expect.

brokenhearted55a · 09/10/2015 10:16

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Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 09/10/2015 10:20

But if he is renegotiating, then so do you. If he is placing a time limit, then clearly he isn't meaning that it is a proper relationship.

DrMorbius · 09/10/2015 10:57

I think heartbroken allowed emotion to cloud her judgement.

FWB's are a minefield because they are almost counter intuitive. You should only have a FWB with someone you have zero emotional connection with. You shouldn't care if they are sg the local ruby team (male/female, delete as appropriate).

Therefore the op question is a bit of an oxymoron, because it shouldn't matter if they date some one else.

NumbBlaseCold · 09/10/2015 11:33

No they cannot cheat because you are only fuck buddies.

If you decide to be partners that is different but only fucking is only fucking until otherwise decided by both.

brokenhearted55a He did not cheat in his mind because you were just FWB and FWB are not exclusive but regardless of cheating or not, he did betray you by lying and stringing you along.

jesy you sound more into them then they are to you, if you were true FWBs then you really wouldn't care.

Lelania · 09/10/2015 14:26

I don't think whether or not he is technically cheating is the point really. He has deceived you and you are unhappy with the current arrangement.

brokenhearted55a · 09/10/2015 15:10

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KnifeandFork · 09/10/2015 15:45

Just started my own thread on a FWB situation. It's a very difficult one to be in!!! Feels good at first but very hard not to get attached.

No, I think you can't cheat, but like with any friendship you can mislead or lie or hurt.

It's difficult with FWB because you feel not entitled to feel any hurt or disappointment and that's difficult, it invalidates you.

I could not continue with mine beyond a couple of months. I personally think FWB only works if you've no emotional feeling to that person and for me what is the point in sex if not.

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