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Original poster

How would you read this text?

71 replies

Anon90865 · 08/10/2015 15:51

So if you had meet someone very special but they were in a unhappy relationship and was planning to leave before starting something up with you, but then hadn't been in contact at all with you for over a week then sent you this what would you think it means?

I think we need to have a chat, I haven't been avoiding you just had some shit news at the start of last week, that changed my perspective on things and I've needed time to think everything through.
When are you free?

OP posts:
0dfod · 09/10/2015 07:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 09/10/2015 07:32

Oh dear, I think we've scared off OP.

If you're still around, I have to comment on this part of things:

"I think we need to talk ...
mwahmwahCharlieBrownAdultvoicemwahmwah
...When are you free?"

And that's it for wondering how you're doing, whether you even want to speak to him again, anything. He writes with the belief that his text finger-click is sufficient to a command an audience. Especially after avoiding you for over a week (and, OP, you know on some level that's exactly what he's done). For that fatuous arrogance alone, I'd bunk him off.

You could text back, taking a leaf out of Grease2 & Michelle Pfeiffer: "I'm always free; it's in the Constitution'".

Or you could meet him, hear him out, stamp your Cheaters Script Bingo Card, THEN tell him, and report back to us. I know which I'd prefer Grin

Original poster
Anon90865 · 09/10/2015 09:29

Ok so after thinking about it, I'm pretty sure that you are all right....I'm going to get some some story (guessing the lads bender he went away for 4 days for during his thinking period gave my exactly enough time to think Hmm) about how he can't leave because XYZ has happened and it's so shit as it stopping us being together at the moment ect etc, guess he is just trying to by himself some time.

I actually can't wait to hear what he has to say and I'm ready, I will not hold back and will tell him exactly what I think and walk away!

For those who are I tested in his excuses I will report back soon

OP posts:
Offred · 09/10/2015 09:37

Oh don't bother going... I mean really who would even want such a prize of a man anyway?!

You getting all annoyed will be just the ego stroke he wants or he'll talk you round...

Why bother? Do you really want to be sat on the other side of the fence as his partner while he meets up with his bit on the side?

And a 'lad's holiday'?! bleurgh...

Offred · 09/10/2015 09:40

I mean the certainty with which he commands your attention is so offputting... 'I've been a shit but not because I'm a shit you will meet me I just need to know when you are free'... Fuck off cheaty nasty man... Just fuck off...

Bubbletree4 · 09/10/2015 09:45

I am super cynical due to bad experiences but personally I wouldn't bother going. The shit news may very well be genuine but a cheater (that is what he is because he is still in a relationship but forming his getaway plan with you) will manipulate anything to their advantage.

Also, it's no wonder his relationship is "unhappy" or "dead in the water" because he isn't nurturing it. He's setting up either a bit on the side or an exit strategy.

He's dangled "shit news" as a sort of carrot/bait for you and you are seeing him. I would just text him something along the lines of "sorry to hear you're having a rough time, I hope things get better for you but best if I just stay away, I don't want to make a bad situation worse". Then even if it is really properly shit and he is not manipulating you (unlikely) you won't have been nasty but will have extracted yourself from this mess.

A special person does not treat his partner/spouse in this way.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 09/10/2015 09:53

Go in head held high, wait for him to tell you the inevitable then say "oh thank god for that, I'd recently put things in to perspective myself and realised anyone prepared to cheat on their partner, even if they are unhappy, is a bellend - goodbye"

Spotifymuse · 09/10/2015 09:57

I am so glad you have seen through the bullshit OP. There are so many women happy to buy the cheaters bullshit and allow lives to be torn apart by participating in the game.
I would reset your boundaries for future though. You shouldn't even be going as far as swapping a phone number with a married man.

AuntieStella · 09/10/2015 10:05

If things between you have reached such a point that you call him 'very special' then it sounds as if you're the OW already, emotionally if not physically. So it's no wonder his marriage is going through difficult times and he's half out of it already.

NumbBlaseCold · 09/10/2015 10:23

Anon90865 , lads holiday?

I suspect he went out on the pull and liked it and realised if he stayed with his wife he could have the on the side pulling and her and spin you a story too.

Whereas if he left her for you, he would have to behave well, at least at first so you would not be suspicious.

Walking away is good, you do not need such a man in your life.

ScribblerOnTheRoof · 09/10/2015 10:35

OP you have slept with him already haven't you?

PrincessTooty · 09/10/2015 11:17

OP, I don't understand what you are hoping to get out of meeting or talking with him even if it just to lay into him. What's the point? Are you after 'closure' or some sort of thing Confused. I'd just send him a text finishing all contact. I'd keep it short and factual with no PA shite. There is no point giving it any more headspace. Move on and don't get sucked into any drama.

Baconyum · 09/10/2015 11:31

"You shouldn't even be going as far as swapping a phone number with a married man." THIS

at the very least this sounds like you've already been encouraging him to divert attention from his wife (and family?) By having an emotional affair.

Review your morals and get some self respect, ignore message, ignore him and block his number

AyeAmarok · 09/10/2015 11:33

Yeah, don't meet with him.

Don't embroil yourself in this non-relationship anymore than is necessary, ie not at all.

You will though, because it's special.

lorelei9 · 09/10/2015 12:38

If you're going to meet him at least do it somewhere pricey, then walk out pre bill.

Someone lied to me about being separated. I hadn't slept with him. I decided to break the news that I knew over dinner, which was on a day I was in town in the office anyway.

It was odd sitting through a meal but I still remember the excellence of the soufflé Grin

It's quite a good finale. I told him after I put my napkin down, put my coat on (don't leave it in the cloakroom), he was spluttering in protest, then I walked out. I refrained from throwing wine at him because he was a client, though luckily I'm junior so not his account manager (if that had been the case I'd never have gone out with him).

But honestly, I'd never sleep with someone who said they were separated or separating, has to be thoroughly checked first. I don't date at all any more so now it's just a random funny story to me. He did try getting in touch when they divorced but....nah.

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 17/10/2015 07:44

I've been wondering how OP got on... Smile

VocationalGoat · 17/10/2015 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brokenhearted55a · 17/10/2015 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DragonsCanHop · 17/10/2015 15:12

*"You shouldn't even be going as far as swapping a phone number with a married man." THIS

at the very least this sounds like you've already been encouraging him to divert attention from his wife (and family?) By having an emotional affair.

Review your morals and get some self respect, ignore message, ignore him and block his number*

This

winkywinkola · 18/10/2015 06:41

Stop thinking about this bloke and start thinking about why you're being such a loser texting and getting involved with a married man?

I mean he's such an arsehole and always will be but you don't have to be one too.

Too many arseholes in the world enabled by dumb idiots.

wannaBe · 18/10/2015 07:01

"It was odd sitting through a meal but I still remember the excellence of the soufflé" do mn still have quote of the week? (Grin)

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