What is this mans issue. Loads of seedy rumours.

[3sprogsandacator2]

Does he want me? He looks at me loads, I think he's interested.

EXCEPT

I'm hearing loads of worrying stuff I.e we all thought he was single rumour has it he isn't he's in a secret relationship with someone we know but because of their work situation they're keeping it very quiet. Could be a rumour though.

He has a reputation for being into swinging!! sending cock shots and having a wandering eye. Was on POF when with his last girlfriend but hasn't been seen on it since being with current one (might not actually be with her though!) is divorced but not sure of back story there.

I'm not stupid enough to listen to all these rumours and take them as gospel. He's in his 40s single and still alright looking, I'm single again and wondering if I should move it past him looking at me on to a bit more.

Do you think rumours have to start somewhere or is it just nonsense to be ignored.

I have a pretty low tolerance for gossip and rumours. I've worked in places before (I know you don't work with him) where someone accepting a lift home from the Xmas party with two members of the opposite sex turned into them both spit-roasting her in the office car park. Completely untrue and she was mortified when someone asked her about it.

So unless someone said "He sent a cock shot to me" or "I saw him at a swingers club with my own eyes" I tend to file all that info under "unproven".

But if he's sitting there leering at you while talking then I wouldn't be into that anyway. And he hasn't actually asked you out, so I think all this angst is for nothing?

Secret girlfriend...or selectively secret. Would you then be the next secret? (That'd be a no.)

The rumors are a clue. They may not be facts but the implication is there and creates...doubt. Imho, you don't really need the facts stated plainly; the rumors could be meant to warn you off what ever the motivation for that may be.

Having not been dating for a while...
Some old rules would still apply.
Use your brain...or rather don't let your common sense get swept away just because a bloke smiles at you...or looks at you when you talk.

Give this one a pass. Too complicated before it has even started.

And I get a sense that having noticed your interest in him, the rumor mongers are deriving some entertainment at your expense. I wouldn't be surprised if they are planting a few rumors in his ear about you. Perhaps if you said you were no longer interested, they may reveal the truth.

I have a pretty low tolerance for gossip and rumours. I've worked in places before (I know you don't work with him) where someone accepting a lift home from the Xmas party with two members of the opposite sex turned into them both spit-roasting her in the office car park. Completely untrue and she was mortified when someone asked her about it

Where I live, you don't need to do anything interesting, people will invent an interesting life for you.

I have a friend who is twenty years my junior and stays at my place when he is town. He hates physical contact with anyone other than the gf of the moment. His girlfriend stayed here with him for a month and they were up and down the street holding hands. He left four days after her and, sure enough, after I had seen him to his taxi one of my neighbours asked me how I felt now my boyfriend had gone!!!

Yeah but,no but....
There must be a more suitable man than him around. No smoke without fire I say.

I wouldn touch him with a ten foot pole

yeh - he'll be a sleaze then.
your situation is quite common, you know.
nice enough looking guy, seems mannerly, respectful but then you'll get wind of others talking about what a tool he is. but of course, you won't see it at first and you'll think he'll be nice with you and you'll change him. you'll be special enough to him to make the difference.

guys who are twats usually have a haze of rumour and gossip around them - once you open your eyes and choose to see it.
there is no smoke without fire with these twats.
also remember that whatever he's done to previous girlfriends - he'll do to you.
classic sleaze alert.

It's also true that some people are shit-stirrers who enjoy planting totally unfounded rumours about others. And many more people are simply inert, lazy-minded mundanes who will spread rumours without giving a moment's thought to whether there is any truth in them (look at all the fuckwits still sharing Britain First muck on Facebook).

I agree SolidGoldBrass. I worked with a woman about whom everyone started saying she was a lesbian (and I knew for a fact she wasn't), just because she was single and had short hair.