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Original poster

'Anniversary' debate

62 replies

FrazzleRock · 02/10/2015 21:17

We've been having a bit of a debate at work stemming from a small argument a colleague had with his girlfriend.

If you're not married, what do you consider your anniversary date to be?

I assumed it would be the date you met. Colleague said "but it was just a random date" (they met on dating website) and he was dating quite a few at that time. He said he would take it from the point they decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend. He says January/February time, his girlfriend is saying November.

I can't see how you can put a date on that though, you don't suddenly say to eachother "todays the day we shall be boyfriend/girlfriend" do you?

My boyfriend and I consider it to be the day we met. (also met on a dating website), but it appears I'm the only one in my team at work who believes that, which surprised me. But then we weren't dating others at that point... Perhaps it totally depends on the circumstances at the beginning of the relationship and it doesn't really matter that much, but it got me thinking as I was so outnumbered!

What do you think?

OP posts:
ILiveAtTheBeach · 02/10/2015 21:21

For me and my DH, we take it as the day of our first face to face date. We also met on dating site. Met up after about 2 weeks of chatting on-line. So yeh, the day of our first actual date where we met and kissed. We celebrate this anniversary AND our wedding anniversary. Did the same with ExH as well. Our "going out anniversary" is this month (7 years) and I've already got his pressie. Wink

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 02/10/2015 21:21

You can have several!!

Best one I think would be the date of your first date.

Lolly86 · 02/10/2015 21:21

We went from our first date we then got married on that date so we have one anniversary to rememberSmile

Cherrybakewells1 · 02/10/2015 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalleighDoodle · 02/10/2015 21:23

Well, for me, having an 'anniversary' when not married is ridiculous so just choose anything.

annandale · 02/10/2015 21:25

The date we met remains big for us because it's easy to remember also the day we moved in together.

LemonPied · 02/10/2015 21:26

It's the date we first met. We're highly unlikely to get married so it's not ridiculous for us.

motherinferior · 02/10/2015 21:28

First shag, surely? Which in our case is first date anyway.

scribblegirl · 02/10/2015 21:31

We celebrate the date we met. Not because we 'knew' at that point, but because, even if I didn't know it at the time, my life changed irrovocably that day Smile

thatstoast · 02/10/2015 21:32

But the day you met could be years before you actually start dating. I met DH in work and we worked together for 3 months until we went out on a date. We sort of counted from that date. I say sort of as neither of us could remember exactly so until we got married we always celebrated during the first two weeks of January.

Original poster
FrazzleRock · 02/10/2015 21:33

I did wonder about 1st shag actually. I can definitely put a date on that.

OP posts:
BuggersMuddle · 02/10/2015 21:35

We use our first 'official' date. This was before sex, but for various reasons the start of our relationship was complicated so that seemed the most reasonable date.

FrizzyNoodles · 02/10/2015 21:37

I go by first shag, he goes by first date. What a gent!

LemonPied · 02/10/2015 21:39

To be fair there's only two days between our first date and first shag!

inmyheadimthequeen · 02/10/2015 21:40

Thought I had posted this but it hasn't appeared so apologies if it comes up twice! DH and I met through work - were friends and on/off couple for years. Finally, we decided to stop messing about and go for it and have been together now for 19 years, married 16. We celebrate our wedding anniversary every year but my DH also reminds me every year of our 'real' anniversary, ie. the day we met. I'd never remember this (I'm not that brilliant on the wedding date tbh) but I'm really touched that he does this

inmyheadimthequeen · 02/10/2015 21:43

Mentioned that we met through work and were on/off for years because we never really had 'first date', 'first shag' and so on, it was all one long 'relationship' on different levels. Sorry if that sounds a bit all over the place, it was a developing thing Grin

SellMySoulForSomeSleep · 02/10/2015 21:47

It would be our first date, My DH and I don't remember the exact date but its close to a bank holiday so we kind of use that date to count how many years we've been together.

Although I was shagging seeing someone else but I called time on that after our first date. So maybe i shouldn't use it?

TheRadiantAerynSun · 02/10/2015 21:49

We used the day we met, but the start of our relationship was a very well defined thing. I imagine if you'd know each for a longer time, or were casually dating or something it might be more difficult.

We got married on our 15th anniversary. DH thought that was really romantic, but I just couldn't be arsed to change it Grin

DonttouchthatLarry · 02/10/2015 21:59

We got married on the 14th anniversary of the day we met Smile - still one date too many for DH to remember!

Starkswillriseagain · 02/10/2015 22:14

We did first shag made more sense for us. I think if you are dating a few then I'd go for boyfriend and girlfriend thing, some people do ask about exclusivity so they could know.

PurpleDaisies · 02/10/2015 22:17

First date for us-then when we got married we abandoned it and went with our wedding date.

thecolourpink · 02/10/2015 23:11

We celebrate day we met (online dating) and our wedding anniversary!

RNBrie · 02/10/2015 23:16

We met at a party and used the date we first went on a date as our anniversary before we got married. After a couple of years neither of us could remember if it was the 11th or the 15th. We're married now, it's much simpler!

AsTimeGoesBy · 02/10/2015 23:23

We had our first date on a May Bank holiday Monday, having known each other at work for a couple of years before that. By the following year we couldn't remember whether it was the first or second May Bank holiday so we didn't bother celebrating it, that would have been the end of that but we did get married later on, so we do have an anniversary now.

ARV1981 · 02/10/2015 23:36

We got together on May bank holiday too... had known each other for around 14-15 years before we got together though so couldn't pinpoint the exact date we met... in fact I can't remember it if I'm honest - dh can but I can't Blush was a LONG time ago Grin

We celebrate both our getting together anniversary and our wedding anniversary. It's nice to have an extra celebration anyway!

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