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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do I want your new address stbxh????

30 replies

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 20:15

We don't talk, if I can help it. He moved recently. Children have been there last weekend for usual EOW contact.

I need to fill out a divorce form for one, but that's not actually really why I care to get his new address.

Perhaps the school might like to know. Or our childminder. Or the counsellor his DD is seeing because he is a twat.

Lots of reasons. So help me MN. How do I reply to his sir twatness ...
My email; can I have your new address please?
His reply; why do you need it?

ODFOD

OP posts:
mulranna · 23/09/2015 20:17

Dont respond - just as the kids?

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 20:21

Mulranna I don't follow, the kids are little and he has parental reponsibility. He should have informed the various people. He didn't last time when he left and moved to OW. I only found that address from the last set of divorce papers.

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 23/09/2015 20:22

You have parental responsibility for our children and that means that professionals involved in their lives, e.g. school, childminders, medics, will want to have your address on their records.

If you would prefer me to tell them that you want your address to remain a secret, I will willingly do so.

MissBattleaxe · 23/09/2015 20:23

So I know where my kids are and can drop them off.

(resist putting "Duh" on the end, although he deserves it)

ivykaty44 · 23/09/2015 20:27

My rely would be

I don't need your address and I really don't want your address but if I'm to divorce you my solicitor will be writing to you so that divorce processes can be put in place.

Of course if you don't wish this to happen then that's fine, remember though child access, is part of this processes and it will not be sorted, neither will you be able to be contacted by any relevant persons concerning Your children. As a man this may be fine for you but as a real dad I wouldn't have thought it was acceptable to treat your children this way - in the event of an emergency they have only one parent.

Your choice - not mine

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 23/09/2015 20:27

Flippant answer - er why wouldn't i?!

There's so many reasons tou might need it but I'd go for gold's answer

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 20:32

I have to bite my tongue not to say DUR all the time.

I emailed him a photo of a club for DD to ask him to re-register her and pay.
He mails back the link I sent doesn't work. Well DUR face, why don't you try the phone number printed next to the web address.

It's something to do with the OW he won't give me the address.

OP posts:
MadameJosephine · 23/09/2015 20:33

Are you me? I recently had exactly the same text exchange with my ex. Erm why wouldn't I want it? Hmm I simply replied 'no particular reason just thought I should have it just in case of emergency' and he sent it.

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 20:38

MadameJ I could say that but I want some MN evilness to oh so subtly drive the point home!

I'm liking inkykaty bluntness right now

OP posts:
kittybiscuits · 23/09/2015 20:40

'Address not provided' - that's what I've written on everything.

kittybiscuits · 23/09/2015 20:41

Obviously make sure you actually know where your children are.

Mintyy · 23/09/2015 20:42

"God, I knew you were stupid but that question just proves it".

Not really, but you must be tempted ??

Cabrinha · 23/09/2015 20:44

He's a twat, for sure.
But I don't think school or childminder or a counsellor need to have more than the address for the RP.
Contact numbers yes, but not address.
I'd simply put "because I need it for the divorce papers".

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 20:44

Mintyy so so tempted.
That and you jumped up selfish immature useless specimen of a father

OP posts:
WavingNotDrowning · 23/09/2015 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sighing · 23/09/2015 20:47

I had this with my ex. Particularly "amusing" after his freak out (contacted social services suggesting I was absconding) that he didn't know my new address (the house was for sale, I had not at the time he asked an address to provide him with. Which I told him, in different ways). He then 3 months later refused to pass me his address.
I also filled in 'unknown address' and returned the paperwork. He hit the roof when the student loans company used his parents address. Grin.
He had a big rant about how I was entitled to know. Yadda yadda. Fortunately he was set straight by a bored social worker. As a parent, of course I need to know where my children are likely to be Hmm. Be it an emergency or not.

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 20:51

Funny thing is, if he was organised (totally not) I would know exactly where he lives by the location app on the children's iPads. Grin
He has been in two weeks and hasn't got the internet up yet

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 23/09/2015 20:55

But I don't think school or childminder or a counsellor need to have more than the address for the RP.

I'm pretty sure it's a requirement of early years settings to have full contact details for everyone with PR. I was told by Ofsted that I had to have it on my childminding paperwork.

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 20:57

Goldmandra my childminder has said she'd give him a piece of her mind next time she sees him over the address.

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 23/09/2015 21:10

I think I'd be quite keen to help him see sense too Grin

whooshbangprettycolours · 23/09/2015 21:19

so I know where to post the turd

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 21:20

I need AF acerbic wit..........

OP posts:
Scarydinosaurs · 23/09/2015 21:25
  1. Divorce papers
  2. For paperwork relating to the children
  3. For children's access

Just keep it simple and detached. He's asked just to be an arse.

HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 21:33

Maybe I should say
So I can pay criminally minded men to freak you out.
To bomb your house
To send a good looking man over regularly as OW is a serial cheater so I'm sure she'd be enticed.......
She could get married for a fifth time then, oh, depends if we ever get divorced so that you can marry her in the first place becoming King 4....

He proposed to her three months after leaving us. That now two years ago. He's her 4th husband it seems.

OP posts:
HeisInfuriating · 23/09/2015 21:34

Husband to be that is.

Funny though, how he's dragging his heels to get divorced

OP posts:
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