Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sexist as hell behaviour of Brit men abroad

36 replies

jezestbelle · 22/09/2015 19:10

Whenever I go abroad recently it seems I see some male behaviour I wish I hadn't. Was in Prague last we. Lovely city, architecture etc. Maybe we got unlucky but there was at least 1 stag do on the plane over. We are talking about 30s and 40s guys not very young ones. Not far out of British airspace and the drink started to affect them. Loudness, overbearing behaviour to others and 2 of the a*holes reduced a stewardess to tears, I don't know what over. Had to leave a restaurant where my friend and I had been recommended when a large group of again fairly middle aged well to do British guys started behaving really really unpleasantly, drunken letches and spilling stuff on the floor etc. I'm not exactly loves young dream but the local girls got some pretty bad abuse Masquerading as "banter" or whatever these scumbags call it now. The men in Paris were horrid to be around for a woman, just awful, but the Brit ones are reserved here then just as bad if not worse when abroad. Why???????

OP posts:
zas1 · 22/09/2015 19:55

There is no reason, there is just the reality that some people decide to carry on like that. It is a problem though. I don't know why people behave like that on stag or indeed hen does. Glad I haven't been on one in a while tbh.

pallasathena · 22/09/2015 20:03

Pack mentality? Lack of sophistication? Maybe a bit of both. Some Brit blokes can't cope with anything outside of the normal routine and think that enjoying themselves equates with getting plastered, being abusive and pretending that they're somehow superior to everyone else.

Some think its to do with what's called 'The Island Mentality,' meaning a sense of being separate from everything else and therefore, better than everyone else. Some think its more to do with the high levels of control in our native society which results in an over-the-top letting go when outside national borders.

The problem is, we all get tarred with the same brush when overseas. And the sadness is we're held in contempt in certain countries because of it.

Hissy · 23/09/2015 00:30

That is what sleazy jet does to a destination. Sadly. It's become a stag night haven.... With a burgeoning sex trade to support it.

30somethingm · 23/09/2015 00:32

I'm sure that some hen groups are equally debauched.

30somethingm · 23/09/2015 00:32

It is sad though.

Joysmum · 23/09/2015 00:44

Shame we can't raise our sons to be better.

Atenco · 23/09/2015 01:56

Some people seem to think the same rules don't apply when abroad on holiday. I remember Irish girls being interviewed before boarding a plane for a Greek holiday, saying they were going to shag someone different every night. I think they believed that you can't possibly get AIDS if you have sex on holiday.

diggerdigsdogs · 23/09/2015 02:14

There is a massive difference between a group of women saying they want to get laid and a group of men reducing a flight attendant to tears and treating local women like things.

I've been on some debauched hens overseas. Some included lots of shagging for various hens. Absolutely zero included prostitution, lap dancing, making men cry or frightening men with our behaviour.

Bogeyface · 23/09/2015 02:28

Ime it comes from 2 things. Firstly YY to the pack mentality. Someone starts being an arse and drags someone else in, the second person doesnt want to be seen as boring or a drag so they join in and then so does everyone else as they dont want to be "that" person. So they are arseholes for not having the courage to say no. Thats why I believe it when there are posts on here about men going to lap dancing clubs on stags despite saying they wouldnt. They probably didnt want to, and everyone else probably was doing it and they probably did just go along with it. If one of them said no then most of the others would say no too, but they dont for fear looking uncool. They are Cowards.

The second is "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". The idea that they will never see these people again, will never go to that place again (v v short sighted when Prague is also a popular city break destination for couples!) and the OH isnt there so they can act like predatory sex maniacs. They are Wankers.

So they are either cowards or wankers or both!

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/09/2015 02:41

I'm sure that some hen groups are equally debauched.

Debauched? Undoubtedly.

They're unlikely to be anywhere near as physically threatening and intimidating, though.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 23/09/2015 02:42

Brit men on tour are dreadful.
I have not shagged a Brit in years.

ChipsandGuac · 23/09/2015 02:59

Drunk and ugly, men and women, are embarrassing themselves the world over. It's not just Brits, but I guess that if you were British, that is the accent you would recognise most. We all love reality tv so, there you go.........

Atenco · 23/09/2015 03:36

I actually wasn't putting the two things on a par, just saying that people seem to think that normal rules don't apply when on holiday abroad. So the men can be complete jerks and everyone believes they are immune from the consequences of their actions.

Do I not express myself properly or do people deliberately misread because they want an argument?

Happytuesdays99 · 23/09/2015 10:16

My OH has mates who love nothing more than going away for 48 hrs, getting pissed by the time they get on the plane even if 7am, carrying on drinking on the plane, carrying on whilst there and then lap dancing, prostitutes etc etc. these are mostly married blokes in their late 30's and 40's. My OH tells me all this though not sure why! He says he doesn't get involved but you can never be sure can you! I'm not sure why they do it as most of them are perfectly civil at home. Their wives are oblivious as far as I know!

Duckdeamon · 23/09/2015 10:19

Suggest this would be v interesting in discussion on the feminism board!

Not really a relationship issue unless one is in a relationship with someone who behaves like this!

LovelyFriend · 23/09/2015 10:46

today's British Man is in a very sorry state indeed.

Just look at the recent Dave Cameron debacle - how many MN'ers said "he was young" and "it was long ago" and bent over backwards to validate these kind of goings on these posh twats getting up to as "harmless hijinks". A massive swathe of the British public seem to be really invested in justifying and accepting his behaviour and blindly refusing to see what was really going on.

He's out fucking PM and if he can't be expected to be a role model for men today who can be? Well sadly he is a role model, and it is clear that many people of both sexes think this kind of behaviour is fun/posh/acceptable if in a silly club/at uni etc etc - and the stuff the OP is talking about is a knock on effect of that thinking. Nudge nudge wink wink, have another pint and lets leer at the poor woman across the aisle & harass the flight steward - it's our right to such "sport" after all, and it's harmless and clearly anyone who objects are lacking in humour!

This is another way of looking at the DC issue: staging.theleveller.org/2015/09/british-really-laughing/

Possibly these groups of stags etc are going abroad as sex tourists and this starts on the plane with any women in their radar being fair game. It is because they are essentially entitled sexist arseholes emulating the posh tossers - read article above. Another very sad example of how we aspire to social climb!

OP - I agree that you will probably get a much more interesting discussion if you report this thread and ask MN to move it to Feminist Chat.

LovelyFriend · 23/09/2015 10:48

it is also very annoying that we can't have a conversation about this issue without someone popping up super fast to say "the women do it to"

SoupDragon · 23/09/2015 10:50

I agree that you will probably get a much more interesting discussion if you report this thread and ask MN to move it to Feminist Chat.

No, she will just get a whole load of people agreeing and saying how revolting men are. Is that what you mean by interesting?

SoupDragon · 23/09/2015 10:50

Yes, God forbid anyone point out that there are drunken female arses too.

Twinklestein · 23/09/2015 10:55

I just pretend to be French.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 23/09/2015 10:58

yes I agree soup, goodness me you should see Brighton seafront on a saturday night, it is heaving with hen parties.
But you know what, I have never seen women from a hen party shout threatening sexual abuse at passing men.

VenusRising · 23/09/2015 11:08

I used to live in a city where there were a lot of stag dos. Multiple bookings in hotels every weekend.

I loathed the Brit men more than any other nationality because they were so offensive and physically threatening. They literally would walk down a street in one line and abuse everyone and anyone who was there and wouldn't let you past without saying something offensive and leery.

There was a huge sex market of trafficked women also.

Brits are really awful (and very, very racist) when they get together in this male only, pissed out of their heads, vom fest way, where it seems that all rules and common decency and courtesy are left in old Blighty.

That's why Brit stags are now banned in a lot of places here.
Hotels and restaurants won't have 'em. Hence them having to go to Prague and other European cities.

Ps plenty of good natured cackling hens here though, but none of the problems, none of the abuse, and none of the illegal sex workers.... funny that.

IRuthBolirsUhbniuzsDH · 23/09/2015 11:29

Perhaps they feel threatened in some way because it's plain they are at a disadvantage and cannot speak the language.

The male need to dominate, to compete, can mean that they then behave like twats because they are disrespecting, or mocking, the native males in the only way left available to them, which includes mocking the women and 'taking' them in a sense by making sexually offensive remarks towards them.

It's foul. I had a good friend for a while, well, I thought he was, respectable, hard working, father, very popular - then I found out he had used a prostitute when abroad on some works thing.
That kind of put me off him for ever.

I think it is more common than we think.

IRuthBolirsUhbniuzsDH · 23/09/2015 11:30

Also I don't understand why alcohol is still allowed on flights. The number that have to be diverted or return to the airport because of a drunken and unruly passenger is absurd - all the aviation fuel and disruption that is wasted due to these cunts.

Just stop letting people on if they are pissed, and don't serve anything on the plane.

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 23/09/2015 12:14

" I think it is more common than we think."

yes I saw a bunch of Brit lads on tour on 'Sun Sea Sex and Suspicious Parents'. There was one group that was behaving just as you describe IRuth.
Their behaviour (at a festival in Austria) was simply dreadful, including vomiting over neighbours' tents and not being apologetic or attmpting to clean it up, strippin naked on stage, and indulging in not so low level sexual harrassment of any passing females.
The thing that really got me was that the mother was watching and made excuses for him every single time.
If that was my kid I would have slapped him and took him home.