FWB is going on a date...

[BreadstickBev]

I have a FWB... All started as a no strings just for fun agreement, and yes a lot of fun was had. I probably have fallen into the trap of being too dependant on him, physically and emotionally. He is very open / honest with me & told me last night he has a date planned for Saturday night. This has floored me & I'm a mess (and im usually not a cryer)

We were very emotionally close, shared interests, finished eachother sentences, basically he is the male version of me & vice versa re him. He has been texting his date for a week and has definitely cooled towards me, very noticeably in fact.

It is not possible for us to have a "normal" relationship due to various factors. I had never thought about him dating before but now it's an all consuming thought.

I don't know what I want from this thread but I just want to stamp my feet & cry & scream that he's my bit of fun I don't want him with anyone else.

Ive wished him well & he says it's only a date & he'll keep in contact with me. Has anyone ever came through the other side of this, because at the minute, I'm not sure I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...

Nonna someone else mentioned telling their fwb they were going on a date but I don't think the op did

Just to throw a spanner in the works of all this sensible advice - I married my FWB. Once I started shagging dating other people he realised he wanted more so we gave it a ago. 10 years and 2 DCs later we are happier than ever.

It might be worth laying your cards on the table and encourage him to do the same. Better than trying to be casual but coming across as needy. It does sound like you're more emotionally invested than he is.

No Nonna I'm not dating nor do I want to date anyone at the minute.

Well I seen him after my last post on Tuesday & he winked at me that gorgeous fucking wink I didn't respond or message

Then today I seen him at drop off & he sent me a message whilst standing 3ft away telling me I looked good I didn't respond even though he seen me reading the text. Long story short he then texted later today asking was I OK & basically I let the MN side down, I'm sorry! I said no not really & would prefer to know what's happening instead of being in limbo, basically the message yous all talked me out of sending in my PP. Am humouring myself as I didn't text first & after all he did ask

So conclusion is.... Well there bloody well is none atm as he didn't give me a straight answer was it over or not, just friendly skirted around my question but I did say I wouldn't be "annoying" him anymore & he said I was never an annoyance.

brokenhearted55 I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad atm your "fwb" really did string you along with the future faking. Bastard. My FWB was being honest & it still doesn't make it any less of a head fuck.

just a big disco

You didn't let the side down immediately at all, you just didn't respond to his silly little game playing if texting you when you were right there.

He sounds like he's happy to drop you and pick you up as he pleases, and this does not work for you. Which is fine, because you should not have a revolving door for a fuck buddy. Once they bid you farewell, move on and bolt the door behind them.

I don't think it is a case of he wanted OP for sex but OP was not good enough for a gf. You can like someone but see the time/situation is not right for a rs. Possibly he was waiting for OPs situation to change possibly he wasn't.
He may have only been wanting a fwb at the start but now wants more of a rs but feels the OPs situation is still too complicated.

It's probably nothing personal.

OP you clearly weren't expecting to develop feelings for him but as the Gaelic saying goes "three things in life come unbidden; love, fear and jealousy"

What do you want to happen now OP?

Yes I think you're right. There's a subtle difference between the brutal "just wants you for sex" and "just wants sex with you, nothing more".

Also, I know it hurts to be rejected from the position of partner, but twice I ended relationships with men who were amongst my favourite people in the world and i wanted to remain friends (but didn't push it, and I not friends, with either of them) but I think back to how I felt then, like I really liked both of those men and would have loved to have worked with them, or known them socially or been their friend. I just knew that the relationship wasn't working out.

Sounds like a complete wanker and player to me. Dettach from him now, he's stringing you along. You will end up badly hurt (again)

Yep! He's a player, no doubt, thing is, he was straight with you, he is going to date other women and fuck you on the side, as long as you're willing, I get the feeling that's not for you, if you continue the fwb relationship with him, your self esteem is going to nose dive, he knows how to play you, " give her a few days after his date, send a few complimentary texts and reel her back in", don't go there.
Thing is, you can't turn it on him, he's been straight up with you from the start, I would give him a wide berth.

Ah but broken that is because nobody starts a thread to say I had a fwb. It was fine. Then we got bored. Went our seperate ways. No one was upset.

But it does happen. I have had several fwbs that were just like that but its a not worthy of a whole thread

Sorry you have been hurt OP I think you need to walk away from this one. .
If he texts again just tell him sorry but you don't want to be one of many, Fwb/relationship aside you prefer exclusive.