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Original poster

Found picture of another girl in his photos

26 replies

showsomeclass · 13/09/2015 21:25

How seriously would you take this?

Been with my DP for about a year and a half and, I know he's a real blokey bloke, but has always made me feel special, like the woman he loves and has never cheated (that I know of of course)

I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive about this, but we were looking through old holiday photos on his laptop and there was an image in his collection of a girl, with very large boobs, wearing a little top which didn't cover much of them.

He likes boobs

The image didn't look like a real image of a girl in real life, more like a professionally taken model type one, at worst a slightly slutty dating profile image (but not saying it was)

It's really upset me. I'm not a pre-madonna, and I'm sure a lot of guys 'look' - but it made me feel a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach

I think it upset me more because I had wanted to be close (intimate) over the weekend and after a massage, he just fell asleep and I was left feeling a bit neglected and unwanted - then I saw this. Double whammy and now I feel rather low

Am I being silly?

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 13/09/2015 21:30

slightly slutty dating profile image Hmm Nice language OP.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 13/09/2015 21:37

old holiday photos

Were you expecting him not to have had any girlfriends up to the point he met you then?

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 13/09/2015 21:38

And what's a pre-maddona?

Smartiepants79 · 13/09/2015 21:41

Hang on, we're the pictures of a holiday you took together? Related in anyway to this girl?
Was she a girl he actually knows/knew or just a picture from online?
Not quite sure why this has bothered you so much. Did you ask him about her?

BreeVDKamp · 13/09/2015 21:43

You should feel confident in your relationship after 1.5 years, so this shouldn't worry you. It's sad that it does :( it's an old photo so that shouldn't make you think he's up to something now.

It's prima donna, but we all know what you meant.

horsewalksintoabar · 13/09/2015 21:46

Ah come on posters. Don't be so mean! What's wrong with you?
OP I wouldn't sweat it. It's probably an ex GF or fling from the past. It's a notch on his bed post perhaps but probably completely irrelevant to your relationship now. Guys are kind of lame that way but the majority of them do no harm. I'd give him a free pass on this one. And it's OK to fall asleep and not shag like rabbits. Wink I have a hunch you're reading too much into this. Flowers

Original poster
showsomeclass · 13/09/2015 21:50

Thanks Bree - I feel really stupid for that slip up but thanks for being kind about it :-)

Not appreciating the rather unhelpful comments from others but hey

No Smartie, I think it was just an image he had saved onto his phone from the internet around the time we were on holiday as they were date order. Like I say, the image didn't actually look like a real photo. No, didn't mention it - seemed petty and invasive if I had but I've let it fester all day

It just upset me that he looks at/downloads images like that but didn't want to 'be with me'

I'm obviously being overly sensitive - not sure why it's bothered me so much either!

OP posts:
Original poster
showsomeclass · 13/09/2015 21:51

THANK YOU horsewalks Flowers

OP posts:
TRexingInAsda · 13/09/2015 21:53

Did you ask him about it? It may have been from a long time ago, before you were together, he may be happy to delete it, maybe it was a random internet picture to wank to - maybe from before you even started dating. Just ask him, but I wouldn't just to any terrible conclusions here. Also it sounds like your massage was very relaxing, I hope he was eventually grateful (once he woke up)!

Fuckitfay · 13/09/2015 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Latika123 · 13/09/2015 21:56

If he has an iPhone anything sent on what's app automatically saves into the camera roll. I'm in a few groups with friends and there have been a few times there's been photos I haven't recognised in my camera roll and when I've looked at the groups they have been sent through on there

BreeVDKamp · 13/09/2015 21:59

That's ok OP, some people here have obviously never made a mistake in their lives Wink

Boltonlass1972 · 13/09/2015 22:02

Can you right click on the image and find the date? I have all sorts of crap on my photos on my phone because I had a setting enabled in what's app to automatically download photos. I ended up with loads of pictures of birds of the feathered variety as my boss insists on sending our department his boring birdwatching success. Pp had a point.. May not have been his photo at all.. He may not even realise. Ask?

ToGoBoldly · 13/09/2015 22:05

I was going to say the same as some others. My friends send me all sorts of photos on messenger apps, then when I'm scrolling through months later I wonder where on earth they came from. Might be nothing to worry about.

Smartiepants79 · 13/09/2015 22:07

He was with you when you were looking at the pictures?
So not trying to hide them?
I really think you need to say something to him.
Nothing shouty or accusatory for now just a chat to say that you noticed it and it's made you feel insecure.
See what he says.

Original poster
showsomeclass · 13/09/2015 22:07

Boltonlass, the images were already in date order and they were in amongst our holiday images, which was last January, so was either downloaded or sent to him then. I wish I had said something at the time as I won't see him now for a while and if I bring it up then, it will look like I've been thinking about it all that time! (Which I will have of course haha)

TR, I got a reciprocated massage, on my back though :-(

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 13/09/2015 22:08

Mrs Leigh-halfpenny if you're going to mock the op for misspelling a phrase you should probably avoid misspelling it further in your quote

Smartiepants79 · 13/09/2015 22:09

Bottom line is, if you trust him, trust him.
I had some very dodgy photos on my laptop a while back (think nearly naked male stripper types) as I'd used them in a joke magazine I'd put together for a Hendo!

Original poster
showsomeclass · 13/09/2015 22:10

No that's a good point, he wasn't trying to hide them.. I can imagine he was probably panicking inside when he saw it too haha... Yes, I'll just lightly mention it and just ask. Things usually don't come out how I intend them though and don't want to start a row

OP posts:
MrsLeighHalfpenny · 13/09/2015 23:03

I wasn't mocking, I didn't understand what she meant. The penny has now dropped.

Original poster
showsomeclass · 13/09/2015 23:23

Thanks for the clarification Mrsleigh - things can come across incorrectly sometimes can't they

So - it's pretty obvious I should say something, even if just to clear my mind! Is it ok to do on phone or wait until in person? If I leave it too long it will seem as though I'm making a bigger deal about it than what it should be but if I do it on the 'phone, I won't see the true reaction

It's silly that I'm pussy footing around it actually - which also bothers me!

OP posts:
Boltonlass1972 · 14/09/2015 07:11

Nope not phone. Definitely face to face x

EmGee · 14/09/2015 13:06

It shouldn't cause a row if you mention it.

I was once in a similar situation after finding sthg by accident on a boyfriend's computer. I didn't know how on earth to bring it up (I saw it when he was at work) and emailed a friend who said 'He's a reasonable bloke; just ask him outright and say how you feel'.

I asked him that evening over dinner (really had to pluck up the courage) and there was an explanation. A plausible one that I believed and the boyfriend was embarrassed but open about it. There were no rows, no accusations of me being nosy etc. It was such a relief that he acknowledged it and then talked about it, explained it etc.

If he does have a negative reaction or implies you are the one with the problem, then you will have to decide where to go from there. But in all honesty, if he's genuine, he should reassure you.

Original poster
showsomeclass · 14/09/2015 16:55

Thanks EmGee - hopefully the situation will be the same for me

I'm now seeing him tomorrow night so was thinking about waiting until dinner and saying something like... "Darling, can I ask you something? (He'll obviously say yes).. You know the other day when we were looking through our holiday photos on your computer, I noticed an image of a girl with rather big boobs - and it wasn't me. Can I ask where it came from?"

That doesn't sound accusation-y or confrontation does it? But is also a direct question...

OP posts:
tableanadchairs · 14/09/2015 18:31

Darling sounds a bit patronising and take the ^can* out of the last sentence.
The whole structure sounds as if you are pussy footing about him.

So DP can l ask you something? It's about pictures l saw on your computer and they have bothered me a bit. The ones of a girl with big boobs--who is she and where did they come from.

Then let him talk-say no more, let him fill the silence