The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

Morning all! I did manage not to drink last night, despite shop selling wine just a two minute walk away and i was seriously tempted. Had two becks blue and a cup of redbush tea instead, but i was still in a foul mood and did not sleep well at all. Trying to not think about this evening.

Sirenetta from what I've heard day 100 is generally when it all kind of clicks into place and being AF becomes the norm and less of a struggle. So you are doing really well.

Sweet I know after just three days off I have far more patience, thanks for remndng me, just need to get there and carry on.

Hey sweet hey babes welcome and welcome back to all! Waves , opal fruits and inspiration to you all. I am going to be on and off the bus as am decluttering ready for a probable house move. I live in London and school catchments are a proper nightmare. I need to move within 700m of a desired high school. From where I live now I am not in the catchment for anything so will get allocated a random school. Unless I get picked out In a lottery. It's enough to drive me to drink ( I am on day 3 but it's been hard) . Any wisdom from you babes who have done the high school thing gratefully received.

Pop, d'argh! No! School places hell! We were in the extremely fortunate position to be able to get DS into one of the top schools in the county, despite being well out of catchment, because he was at a feeder school, and one year before a big birth rate rise in the area! Getting in came with huge bragging rights, and approving nods. DS hated it! When we moved last year, we actually moved closer, but gave him the choice to choose another, closer school, a good one, but not as allegedly outstanding as the first. He moved, and he's happy, that's really all I need. So glad I'm not in the hell of London or Brighton schools, good luck.

Made it to (almost) 6.30, just the rest of the evening to go.

I meant it was almost 6.30, not that I almost made it - having a disturbing number of senior moments today.

NO, that's not right either. I stop trying to be clever. 6.24 and no alcohol today!

Haha, I got what you meant the first time Sweet

Sounds like it's been a long day. Is the meeting over now, or just about to begin?

Hang in there sweet. Am AF tonight too after being a tit yesterday.

It was a 'celebrity' lecture, Faire, and it was just about to start. I'm afraid I couldn't do it, I had a major attack of social anxiety, and had a glass of wine , but at least it was only one.

Ma, hold on to that shit feeling so that you can stay feeling better! How is your brother these days?

Ooo, get you, a celebrity no less

Is anyone going to watch The Apprentice tonight?

Ooh apprentice might watch just for the twat ogling.sweet thanks for the schools post. Yes London is properly ridiculous. Massive stressy bun fight. And then you get dissed for moving and putting your children first. And charged a massive stamp duty in the process. Feeling very sad about it as love my little neighbourhood but am going to have to suck it up or clone my kid into some kind of Vanessa Mae style violin genius to get a music scholarship which just ain't gonna happen.

Because my kids don't even play the violin

He is fine thanks. Still sober, got his own flat and a full time job in mental health counselling!

Wow, he's doing well, ma.

Work, how are you getting on this evening? Any wobbles?

He is faire he has come such a long way. It makes me feel ashamed that the could conquer it and I can't.

I've struggled with just tea tonight....fortunately had work stuff to do and a sulky laptop which has kept my mind off things .....its my only AF day this week so far...promised myself another tomorrow with a glass on Friday but do struggle to sleep and also drinking so much fizzy water and tea I'm waking up to pee in the night too ! ... siiiigh

Morning.

He is doing so well Ma, and so are you, you will get there .

Pop at the violin, but I will have my fingers crossed for you that it works out. How long have you got to make the move before applications start?

Wellies, among my many excuses to drink, a sulky laptop would be right up there! So well done you. And even if you get up to pee, you'll get back to sleep more quickly.

Can't decide what to do this morning, it should be my work from home prep day, but the builder has moved onto the dining room, and the kitchen fitter is still only a quarter of the way through, so it's all a bit grim here. I will get more done at home, but the dog will have to spend most of the day in his crate.

How is everyone else doing? Day one again here, but I'm feeling positive.

Decided to stay home and am getting remarkable amounts done everytime the wifi goes off!

Also have to smile because builder and electrician were discussing art exhibitions they'd been to and have now moved on to the meaning of life and the status of the body after death - if I was at work, we'd be talking about The Apprentice, I might stay home more often!!

Hi babes,

Although I've not been posting, I'm reading every day. It's the holidays here and have been enjoying time with my dd's. I'm I to the 3rd week of my new bipolar meds which should cut off the terrible lows during which I drink myself unconscious at very dangerous amounts, I only know how much when we find the boxes of wine later. Last time I ended up in a&e not steaming but completely desolate and despondent of life, this triggered a mental health intervention and a diagnosis of bipolar. My mood is either as high as a kite, loving everyone and everything in a child like way, but spending money and racing through life at 100mph which is exhilarating but exhausting then I crash and cannot cope with any emotion whatsoever so I drink and I drink and I drink!!!! I'm only telling you all this, most of you already know but same I want you to know I have queued for drink with the 10am'ers trembling before me, I have caused my amazing father to climb through an upstairs window to check I'm still alive, I have been to hell, then back, then dragged back to hell too many times.

Of course while the new meds have help stabilise the extremes, I am having to learn to live without the highs, no euphoria, no bipolar induced happiness and hope, just me and my very ordinary life. I also am doing it sober because I'm in last chance saloon with all those that have witnessed my pain.

Although my situation is extreme, we are all reading these pages because we are feeling desperate enough to seek help, support and hope that we can life a better life with less or no alcohol!!! It's feels a bit like coming out of coma and learning to walk and talk again, to feel things in all their true joy or pain and it's scary and really really hard.

same you need to look at why you want to drink at 9am, happy people don't feel the need to but I have do your not alone!!!

I'm 6 weeks sober but it feels like a step further away from booze is also a step closer and if I'm honest I'm still running about most of the day, running away from myself which lets face it is not sustainable.

Anyway I've made myself stay in today, I'm weary and a bit angry with the world but I'm gonna go for a big long walk then get some healthy food in, but same I've been you and I really hope you can talk to us.

I'll be back to say hi to all you other lovely babes later, you guys are amazing xxxx

Squishy hugs xxx

{{hugs}} Baby

Well done baby you really are fighting hard
I have yet another urine infection..so sickmof this. More antibiotics, and now referred for further tests. It hurts so much.
We are due to go to Krakow on Saturday for a few days break and I need to be well

Poor you, Ma, hope you're well enough to enjoy your break.

Very quiet bus tonight, hope you all sleep well.

Sleep well all ma feel better soon. sweet I've got one year to move for a school as have to fill in form next October. London is truly insane In that respect. baby you are doing brilliantly don't see it as a step closer to booze see it as a step closer to stability. You are all amazeballs as far as I can see!

Morning All.

End of the week, and getting through Friday is a tough ask for lots of us, but I'm going to try not to give my Saturday morning to the Wine Witch's sister - Hnagover Hag!