Not sure where to turn...

[Downwiththissortofthing1]

Long story short, with my boyfriend since may, it's all moved extremely quickly, as in going on holiday (I paid), he wanted me to go and visit his parents in October (he is European). It has been a tempestuous relationship, culminating in this evening (after me making dinner) in him telling me I am an alcoholic because I had half a glass of wine out of his two bottles and jokingly said he couldn't drink all my beer... And him telling me I am stupid and irrational when I tried to explain that his behaviour was unacceptable. Him shouting over me when I tried to talk. Him kicking the furniture repeatedly whilst swearing at me when it's a rented flat. He earns very little, to the point that I pay for everything. His jealousy and possessiveness are off the scale. To the point where I am scared to have my phone on normal incase it rings and IT might be (shock horror) a male... Most probably a work colleague... Sorry, I know this all sounds mad and I sound like an idiot, but j have literally just ordered him to leave, after he told me I was lucky that he kicked the sofa the other night and not me... Just feeling rather fragile and annoyed with myself for being upset. Sorry.

I have sent a message to the tune of that. And now just going to ignore any other attempted contact. Just a bit concerned as I know I will most probably bump into him tomorrow at the yard. Will try and make sure my friends are there to minimise any drama... Argh. I feel like an idiot for trusting him and for being with him in the first place.

Also embarrassed to have to tell my sister why her locks have been changed when she gets back from holiday...

I'm sure your dsis will be horrified when you tell her the circumstances and be relieved you are safe.

Yes, and he should be embarrassed for being a twat.

He is a massive twat. Just don't want to be the 'selfish, lying, alcoholic bitch' by letting his work know why I don't want to be anywhere near him...

Shouldn't it be enough to tell them you don't want to be near him? Just mention bad break up.

OTOH, they may be interested to know that he stole your keys.

True. But in his job he has access to my horse... I wouldn't put it past him to do something to her...

Surely showing them the texts would be proof? BTW the number of texts he's sending now is harassment and warrants a visit from police. I've done this.

Sorry not that I've harassed someone reported them for harassment by sending stupid no of texts. Police were not impressed when person initially ignored them and they had to go back

You're confusing the two major issues that matter to you in your head.

1. Personal safety. Change the locks. You can do it, YouTube it, if I can, anyone can, frankly. Get your friend to stay home whilst you pop to get the locks. Take a pic of your lock, front and back and show it to the salesperson.

Text him and say " if you contact me again in any way I will call the police" keep the text and ignore comms from him except to screen shot.

1. Hobby ( horse) it's on loan. It's not yours. Give notice or call and say you have been dating x, he's a nightmare and the police are involved as he's a danger. Say you'll be happy to continue if they move yards. Otherwise you'll pay for one month, and you won't be able to see the horse during that time.

• call the stables, tell them what's happened, say you won't be there to see dobbin, and you're very sorry, you've notified the police and the horses owners.

• don't piss about. Blokes a nightmare. Tell everyone what he did and hopefully they'll be on the lookout. If you get him sacked he will blame you because he's a twat, but he will get sacked and have to find a job elsewhere. Of you pretend nothing's happened, and your life will be a misery.