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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

dry september

139 replies

raspberrytart · 01/09/2015 11:10

Good Morning.Wondered if there was a dry september thread going?Thanks

OP posts:
BathtimeFunkster · 02/09/2015 17:17

Yes, definitely.

It's sometimes just the idea of a drink to look forward to, rather than the drink itself.

It's like one the cork pops out it's a signal that I can switch off from kids/work/housework/worries.

Maybe I should just get/invent a popping cork that doesn't come with delicious booze attached Grin

justwondering72 · 02/09/2015 17:22

I recognise that feeling raspberry. I think one of the reasons I'm ready to take a month off, maybe longer, is that my kids have finally reached an age where it's not a constant battle to get to the end of the day, and thus deserving a reward for getting through it.

A bigger one for me though, has been a desire / need to blur things round the edges. Down to stress probably, and unhappiness and it always bring easier to open a bottle of wine than to do anything more constructive. Just blur the edges, and ease into the evening. Just a few glasses, but pretty much every night. And of course, wake up with a slightly fuzzy head, and nothing else has changed.

justwondering72 · 02/09/2015 17:25

Does anyone else have a family where daily drinking is the norm? My parents drink at least a bottle of wine every single day, with dinner, and have done for at least the last 20 years. It's normal for them, and for me. We spent a lot of the summer with them, drinking every evening and enjoying it... But it was starting to feel a bit relentless towards the end.

Cat2014 · 02/09/2015 17:26

I really want to join in, I've had a boozy summer but am sitting with a glass of wine now as I had a hard day at work! I really need to do it though my drinking is creeping up and though I'm pretty healthy in other ways I know this isn't good. Can I start tomorrow? Grin I have one night out on the 19th with My best mate and I will be drinking for that but if I can go from tomorrow with no booze for the rest of sept apart from that night out, that will be a huge achievement for me and hopefully the start of better habits.

fadingblonde1 · 02/09/2015 17:30

I also 'reward' myself with wine, it's like I think I deserve it for getting through the day. Especially if things have been stressful but really that's an excuse. It's got worse during the school holidays as I haven't had to get up so early so I've allowed myself to drink more knowing I'll have more time to come round in the morning.

fadingblonde1 · 02/09/2015 17:32

That's my thinking Cat, I have a night out planned, but think if I only drink then it will still be a significant improvement :)

Cat2014 · 02/09/2015 17:34

Same fadingblond, it's a reward, a de stresser, but also a tipple when I'm happy! I do have a couple of nights off a week but overdo it definitely. I'm not going to pour any more tonight and that's it till the 19th! Im hoping my skin will look better too, it's a disaster zone at the moment. My weight is ok as I exercise a lot but I'm definitely not looking as good as I could if I cut down the wine I'm sure.

Londonmummy01 · 02/09/2015 18:16

Ok bathtime I'm in Smile! I'm starting to take strong pain killers for an injury so I've no excuse now.

Defiantly agree with raspberry the wine is often the reward for making it to the end of the day and a meal just doesn't taste great without a glass. Maybe I could lose a few pounds?

raspberrytart · 02/09/2015 18:41

I tend to open the wine about nowish and can have half the bottle drunk by the time we have supper which can be as late as 9pm. By then its gone. Then the nodding off on the couch. Im a right catch me!
Well done on everyone wanting to make some changes. I have willpower with everything else, food, excercise, spending money, but when it comes to wine I struggle.
Its my sons 10th birthday today and there is Prosecco in the fridge. At the moment its about cutting down as I have a couple of things on this month that I will be drinking at.
We will see!!
Have a lovely evening folks

OP posts:
duckyneedsaclean · 02/09/2015 18:50

I've been thinking about stopping for a month - I seem to drink every day that I'm not on a night shift. Monday I drank far too much wine after work and couldn't eat anything all day yesterday without retching. Blush

I definitely need to cut down anyway.

Holidayornot · 02/09/2015 18:58

I'm in. Off for whole month.

BathtimeFunkster · 02/09/2015 20:14

Stopping for a month is a great way of cutting back - it breaks all the habits and expectations you build up when you are in the holiday mood.

DaphneClarke · 02/09/2015 20:28

I recognise so much of the above. My mum drinks every night and has for years. Recently she went away with a teetotal friend and said how much of a struggle it was having 2 days off, and I said "wow, well done getting through it without a drink", she replied 'well I drank in the afternoon rather than the evening which is the same as going without" Hmm

It's wine for me too. I rarely drink spirits and I could manage maybe 1 or 2 little bottles of beer but then feel bloated. It's like someone above said - it's like a signal that it's ok to switch off now, kids are in bed, etc. It's my reward because honest to god these days I wonder how I get through each day sometimes. It's that I hate sugary soft drinks and I'm bored of tea and water by 7pm. It's that frequent booze runs to France mean we have boxes and bottles of the stuff, all over the house. It's that it helps me sleep.

It's all of it and more.

I had to break the cycle. I thought I'd feel better, more clarified somehow, by today (day 6) but I don't I just feel knackered!

raspberrytart · 02/09/2015 21:07

Well done Daphne on day 6. You will have broken the back of it. I did dry January and the first week was tough. Not sure why I went back on to it.

OP posts:
LittleRedRidingHoodie1 · 02/09/2015 21:49

justwondering72 it is the norm in my family for daily drinking too- my parents have always done it. I'm going to try dry September too for various reasons- mainly that I'm always tired; it's going to be a stressful month and instead of having a drink I might try earlier nights. I'd also like to lose a bit of weight to boost my self-esteem. This thread is a great idea. Inspired.Smile

DaphneClarke · 03/09/2015 09:13

If it is any encouragement I have been weighing myself every day (I know you're not supposed to but I was just interested) and every day I have lost 0.2lb. I've not changed anything except quitting the booze.

It may just be coincidence but I'm going to keep going, because eventually I should weigh nothing if I keep off the white stuff long enough!

justwondering72 · 03/09/2015 09:19

Just read back, and daphne, i didn't mean to make you feel bad for planning a night off. I think we're in different situations: I've got a few things each month that I go to (book club, meetings of a voluntary group I run, etc) that I would normally see as an opportunity to drink just a wee bit more than usual, and they come up every month. So every month I have 2-3 excuses to keep on drinking all the time. Just another way of burying my head! It's different for you, having a big event that's a looked-forward to, one-off.

The family norm thing I do find tricky. Are my parents alcoholics? Hard to say. I did post about this ages ago on here, and the responses were varied. I guess it depends how you define alcoholic. Certainly they, and I, drink more than the recommended guidelines. But they are never 'drunk', they can stop when they need to (if driving, or for medical reasons). So the fact that they drink every day, yet life continues as usual with no dramas, it's hard to see why they (or I should stop).

Another reason... I am aware that my children have seen me drinking pretty much every single day. A cold beer while cooking, then wine with dinner. So it's normalising it for them too. But they've never seen me drunk, as in falling asleep / over, drunk. We live in France where I'd say the attitude to alcohol is rather different, a lot less binge drinking and a lot more '1 glass with dinner and that's it'.

duckyneedsaclean · 03/09/2015 09:26

My friend moved in a few doors down from me earlier this year, and since then my drinking has increased to pretty much everyday.

She came over last night and we both had a cup of tea! Could hardly believe it.

Stellar67 · 03/09/2015 09:32

I've been doing dry September. Also a lifestyle decision. Glad there are some likeminded people here too.

DaphneClarke · 03/09/2015 09:33

justwondering72 - I could have written that.

I have all the same worries about my children seeing me drinking every day, and similarly I've never been falling-down drunk in front of them (I've not been falling-down drunk for years, but maybe it's because I have a high resistance from all the drinking!!).

I always described my mum as a 'functioning alcoholic' because she cannot go a day without drink. When I told her I was quitting for a bit she seemed put out, like I was saying I was better than her (which I wasn't, I'm the last one to judge about daily drinking!) and she also worried because the away-weekend is with her and she was worried I might not be drinking. She feels bad about drinking when others aren't, and really pushes it on them or makes them feel like they are spoiling her fun. We are both trying to lose a bit of weight and she will stop eating rather than stop drinking.

I have acquaintances who don't drink in the week, but will then go out and get absolutely wasted on a Friday and Saturday night and spend Saturday and Sunday in bed. I prefer my '1 or 2 glasses every evening' approach but I'm aware my body never gets a break from it.

DipsoHippo · 03/09/2015 12:44

Not missing the wine yet, so I think my habits from June/July have stuck with me. Glad I have decided to go back to it now, rather than say (for example) oh it's only a few weeks until my holidays, what's the point the point is that my swimsuit is too tight

Haven't slept very well the last two nights, could be coincidental, but when I did dry June I had an awful week of poor sleep at the start.

Looking forward to getting to know you all as the month goes on Brew

Cat2014 · 03/09/2015 14:26

Good luck everyone! Starting from today eek! I bet I don't sleep tonight, my wine helps me sleep!

DaphneClarke · 03/09/2015 16:09

Last time I gave up alcohol for any length of time (i.e. 2 days....) I really struggled to sleep.

This time, nooo problem at all, in fact it's the opposite I'm absolutely knackered and can't wait to hit the hay in the evening, then sleep the sleep of the righteous.

justwondering72 · 03/09/2015 16:40

I'm the same Daphne, I really look forward to going to bed just now as I don't have that semi-feverish, slightly pissed, active brain. Wine makes me drowsy, but leaves my brain going at 100 miles an hour. So even if I sleep after a drink, I wake up a while later, mind whirring.

And I am loving waking up in the morning with no headache and no dry mouth! I feel clean.

If I'm getting a bit too evangelical after just a couple of days, feel free to tell me to simmer down ;-) It's just that I've been looking forward to doing this for so long, but never had the oomph to see it through. I'm glad just to be here, doing this, making some small conscious change.

DipsoHippo · 03/09/2015 16:45

I could sleep now, at my desk Grin Got about 4 broken hours kip last night.

Ate a shedload of carbs at lunch due to tiredness, so need to knock that on the head too. Have a nice quiet weekend planned. DH is making noises about joining me in Dry Sept, but he might change his mind by tomorrow night!