I don't understand his actions

[Inexperiencedchick]

Don't want to sound a drama queen but it bothers me...

There is a 50 y.o. man living in the flat I'm in at the moment. He is a lodger temporarily. Landlady asked me if I mind, I didn't as long as person doesn't disturb me. So he moved in.

He is a friend of her friend. They were good, talking and he was offering her coffee in the evening and so on...
Then the landlady once invited me to the kitchen, we had a little chat and I went back toy room.
He once asked me if I want something from the shop, so i ordered some chocolates. I paid for them. Next time he goes to shop and buys again, I haven't asked. I offer money he says it's a gift and he will be upset if I don't take. I took although didn't want to... And from MN I know that it's abuse to say if you don't take I will be upset.
He then started to knock my door... First time: "I don't remember how washing machine works, can you show me?" Although he made some repair work to the WM couple of days before that. That eve I was emotional and in tears, he saw my face when I opened the door, didn't say "ohsorry you are not in the right mood, I will come later" so I went and showed how to use it. I had no idea that the LL actually showed him few times how to use the WM.

Next time again knocking in the door after 10pm, I opened the door, he explained it saying he doesn't understand why WM doesn't work even if he did everything right. I went to the kitchen with him and pushed the door of the WM harder and it started working.

Before the second knocking I found myself under the analysis when I was hanging my washing on the rope outside, and I felt uncomfortable. He was watching me from my back. Before that I was in the kitchen having a dinner and felt bad when I was washing my plate, because he was asking some questions about what I eat and how much I eat. I eat healthy, and I'm skinny girl. I'm not fond of comments about my body. Hate it!

So I spoke about his knocking habit with my LL and he told him to not to do it anymore. She went for holidays and I'm on my own with him in the flat. I tried to be as invisible as possible. When he is in, I try not to come out from the room.
So on Wednesday I came home after work and saw my post in the flat, he collected it. I went into my room and opened letters, etc. Felt bad for not thanking him, opened the door and said thank you. That's all what I have done.

At 12:30 am I heard someone is calling me by my name. I didn't realise that I fell asleep and opened the door with still sleeping eyes just to see him staying in front of my door. When I asked him what he replied "you left the light on in your room" I closed the door, turned the light off but wasn't able to sleep all night. The door was closed, he didn't know if i was sleeping or not...
My questions are:

1. Why does someone in the middle of the night calls the other person (he barely knows) just to tell her that the light is on?

1. What does he want from me?

1. He is no one to me to care for me so much..., so why?

My LL never knocked my door and said that I left the light on, even if she would get up to use the bathroom in theirs le of the night. She knows sometimes I stay late and do some work/reading...

It made me feel sick to disturb someone like that at 12:30 am, and call my name loudly. We have neighbours downstairs, and me and my LL usually don't make noise after 10pm.

1. What is his problem?

Poor you. He sounds like a pain in the arse at best, creepy at worst.

Trust your instincts. Do everything to keep yourself protected. Make it clear to LL what is happening because this is harassment. I'd be tempted to call the police on 101 to get it logged because you are in a vulnerable position. Your LL shouldn't have left you alone in the house with a stranger. You'll know next time not to agree to it.

@Daffs

Thanks for the support.
I texted her the next day explaining everything. She reassured me that it won't happen again. In the mean time he is trying to disappear every morning as early as possible and come back as late as possible.

First time when he allowed himself to knock my door my LL had actually spoken to him very seriously that he became very quiet...
But i guess was still hoping that when she's gone for holidays i will allow him to cross my boundaries. He certainly didnt expect that i will let the LL know about the midnight incident.

Am I reading a different thread to everyone else? Are you always this anxious OP?

Became very recently...

Wasn't like that before at all.

Do I have to do some counselling?

I don't think so, I think if he freaks you out, it's probably for a reason. The Gift of Fear and all that.

I dont know what to think now...

I work in customer service industry. Quite recently I dealt with someone and felt uncomfortable with the person. Let the management know that the person was strange. A week or 10 days later incident happened and when cctv was checked, it was the person i thought and and my intuition played a big part. What should i say about this? Is it anxiety? Or my brain is sucked up in this rut that i have no escape from?

I guess i really need some holidays...

Maybe go with your gut and have done counselling?

Am I reading a different thread to everyone else? Are you always this anxious OP?

Were you reading a thread where someone feels completely happy and safe in their own home? Then yes, yes you are.

However, on this thread, the OP is being completely freaked out by a person who, regardless of their reasons, is invading her personal space and making her feel very very uncomfortable. She has every right to feel fucking anxious!

inexperienced you intuition sounds bang on to me. Trust it.

Yes, I believing in trusting my intuition and have led quite an adventurous life without any mishaps

Get a lock on your door immediately! You are not required to converse with him in any way shape or form!

It doesn't sound as though you need counselling. You are obliged to share your home with a man you don't know, with nobody else there, and he comes to your room to disturb you during the night - most people would be uncomfortable with that.

It does sound as though he is at least doing what your landlady has told him now. A bolt would offer you a bit of reassurance though.

I wouldn't spend one night in a place under these circumstances!

You don't even have a lock.

I knew a woman who was raped in a flat share. It's not a risk I'd ever take.

Bogeyface it just sounded to me like fairly innocuous actions of a flatmate.

No way do his actions sound innocuous! OP you have every right to feel anxious. Your LL should not have put you in this position.
This man sounds extremely inconsiderate (loud music late at night) and with no respect to personal boundaries or space (deliberate or otherwise). He should not be pestering you about the washing machine, making comments about your size or shape or what food you eat. He def shouldn't be knocking on your door with the post late at night or abt other flimsy excuse.
You don't need counselling; you either need a new house share or to tell him to fuck off with his unwelcome interruptions. I hope your rent is reduced as PP said.

You sound vulnerable. I do hope he leaves soon. Be very firm and don't take any shit from him. It's creepy behaviour. Sorry you're going through this.

Primalass, I thought the same at the beginning too.

I'm an introvert and if I talk, only to people I am comfortable with.

As I said I would easily sit and chat with him, as I shared before with males.

But the way he looks at me is very different from the way normal person will look.

The second time when he knocked the door it was after 10pm. We don't put WM after 10pm as it disturbs neighbours from downstairs. Yes he didn't know as the LL allowed him to stay as a friend not as a lodger. So he allowed himself to walk in to her room and chat with her whenever he wanted to. So by trying to be overly nice to me, buying chocolates and making concerns about my eating habit, he clearly thought he can get away in the same style with me too. When he actually saw that I'm not interested he backed off.

After my recent "thank you" he put himself forward to call me during a night just to say my light is on?!
I don't buy it anymore. I did buy this kind of shit for quite a long time.
My life experiences taught me to question everything.

I stay in my room to have some peace and will definitely feel disturbed if I'm interrupted for no reason.

He can use his "cheap" behaviour with someone else.

Thank you Botanic.

When he knocked the door the second time after 10pm, my LL heard it. She was at home, he didn't ask her...
She just told him don't disturb her, don't knock her door.
He explained it by saying my light was on so he thought he can knock.
No he can't.
Do i have to keep the light in the room off all the time so he will leave me alone. I mean, I have some work to do or I might be watching something. Why do I have to keep the light off, to make sure he won't disturb me?

Just do whatever makes you comfortable. He may be creepy, or may just be overly friendly. I'd tell your LL that you don't want it to happen again, and it sounds like she should have known you wouldn't like it.

On 'paper' it looks to me that he is one of those people who gets familiar with people very quickly. I'm like that - I have no secrets and lay roots very easily (feel at home in a hotel room after 5 minutes etc.) I am very sure I annoy people with this, but tend to gravitate to similar folk now.

Talking to you in the kitchen, talking to you after 10pm, asking about the washing machine - all fairly normal. Music and door knocking after midnight - not ok if that's how your household works.

Thank you PromaLass

I'm the opposite, prefer my own company most of the time.

I'm shocked people are telling you to ignore your gut and give the guy the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure you're capable of knowing whether you feel uncomfortable - and I don't think you should ignore it, particularly as you're clearly worried enough to post on here. I agree with the pp who said no sensible LL would want to risk losing a hood lodger of 4 years. I think you should speak up and say its not working.

No-one has said ignore it.

I'm keeping the lights off in the room to make sure he doesn't find another excuse. But I won't live like that anymore.
I'm in a search for a place to move.

MNs are very supportive. Thank you ladies.

Updates:

Now I actually think they had/have something going on between LL and this man...

Probably that's why he started to behave like a complete owner of this place. I saw today in the kitchen he opened one of LL's post.

Before she went to holiday she was walking in the flat covered only in towel. She usually doesn't do that. And when I moved in she actually stated that she would appreciate if I don't walk in the flat in the vest.

God, seems I have been fooled completely...