please help me unpick whats going on with my marriage

[isitreallymeidontknow]

This is an example. It is a silly one, please go easy and help me unpick what it is that is making me so cross with dh...

DH told me he was going to get something to eat - cereal
I come downstairs and Dh has eaten the last pieces of bread I was saving for my tea, I say oh no as was saving that and dh is like oh well you will have to have something else. He then did say sorry.
I felt annoyed and asked him to go and get some more.

I feel silly to be so cross and know its about more than this. Generally he can be quite dismissive of my thoughts and I am unsure if this is why? It didn't matter to him.
I know sounds crazy!
Another example is he asked how my day was the other day and I said I was worried about xyz he then proceeded to tell me oh its nothing to worry about blah blah blah. But I was like well that's your opinion and great you are not worried but I am..

Is it the men v women? Men like to problem solve and women just want to chat things? He is very logical and unemotional and it really gets on my nerves..

We nearly lost ds at a family party a few weeks back and I was upset and did tell him off as he was meant to be watching him but again he was calm and said he knew he would be somewhere. All I wanted was a sorry from him...

ThisIsFolkGirl, sure, not everyone would be "as you do" about discussing a terrible accident. But OP wanted to and her OH didn't, which upset her a bit.

I think it is normal to want to have a discussion with loved ones about things that that are in the news.

OP asked us to help unpick what is going on, and although she admits that nothing in particular is wrong, it seems to me that she wants to feel some emotion from him. His reactions suggest a lack of empathy in general.

I don't see he has done anything wrong other than respond in a different way to how you chose. These examples are not really incidents at all and the 'lack of empathy' thing seems ridiculous. A person doesn't have to discuss horrible accidents. If anything it all sounds a little more 'my way or the highway'.

These things might sound trivial, but disregarding your partner's bids for attention (connection) can be pretty lethal.

www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11?IR=T

lifehacker.com/your-partners-emotional-bids-are-key-to-a-healthy-rel-1665421014

Yes Random I don't disagree with you. But we don't know the op. She might want to discuss all manner of current affairs or she might be a vacuous gossip (sorry op!) and only interested in talking about other people's tragedies.

I think my position is only that people are different and difference isn't always 'wrong' and isn't automatically abuse.

Neither of the
m sound particularly emotionally intelligent and I can see that a lot of this would be avoided with some communication.

I think the basic thing is:
OP is not having her emotional needs met by her partner.

To be honest DH and I would have had a row at some point, and that would have lead to him realising there "was an issue", and so we'd have talked more and tried to communicate better.

Now it could be the OP is on the spectrum, or has tendencies - and in such circumstances may need something "different" from her partner.

OP I would suggest you look at the work of "the girl with curly hair", she's on facebook and has written books. It may help either understand yourself, or your partner. (And will help with your son.)

And if OP's son has ASD, losing him at 7 might well be like losing a 2 year old (and even in a safe enclosed area there can be dangers). But maybe OP your DP hasn't quite taken on board the implications of the diagnosis yet?