Last night, I had one of those nights where you find out who your friends are.

[ShipToWreck]

Nobody passed.

I suppose as background, I split with my partner in March, after nearly 9 years together. He moved back to his parents and we initially didn't talk for a few weeks but slowly, since then, have been talking and meeting, and working towards a future. Last Thursday, we ended up at a corporate event together and in drunkenness, he said he missed me and we should try again. We shared a hotel room and slept in each others' arms.

Last night it emerged that he doesn't want us to get back together. He wants to be single for a while. He wants to be unattached and have a simple life. I've wished him all the best, told him I'll move out as soon as I can and he can collect his things when I'm gone. He didn't reply.

I miss him already and I keep hoping that he will change his mind. I kept waking up to check my phone. I am adamant that I won't contact him, though.

Practically, I'm pretty screwed. It would appear that my friends aren't great. I have a good job but I work from home due to my disabilities (fibromyalgia, bipolar, severe anxiety and depression). The office is in London and I go in when I can, for the company more than anything, but it's expensive. To remain being able to work from home, I need to keep a spare room. I can't afford to stay where I am without him paying half of the rent. We have no break clause, and 6 months left of the contract here. The council won't help until I've been evicted and then I'll lose my deposit as well as my mental health declining. It'd been stable here, I'd been doing well.

I am dying of loneliness. I miss him being here, or at least on the end of the phone. I'm considering installing a dating app just for people to talk too.

I can't drive, so I have to live on a bus route. I'm trying to learn but it's another cost.

I have no family. Tempted as I am to contact my Dad, I shouldn't. I had a hugely abusive childhood.

I feel like just going to bed whenever I'm not working and putting my head firmly in the sand.

If you ring up the Samaritans or MIND you will find them very helpful.

You can also book to see your GP for a friendly talk (as you no doubt know).

Can you talk to the landlord about the rent being a problem? Or any prospect of a bank loan.

Try not to write off your friends so fast as they all have their own issues in life and some may be more naturally sympathetic than others. Everyone tends to operate under a different timescale in terms of getting back to their friends..... hang on in there!

Good luck. Talk to anonymous support line services regularly and also go and see the GP/other mental health service if appropriate.

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. It does sound really awful.

Are you the sort of person who doesn't want to make a proper full on fuss, for fear of being a burden? I only ask because I think I was like that for a long time- would be a 'chat about nothing to make myself feel better' person but that made me just a bit eeyore-ish, whereas once I learned to actually voice what the problem is then people were more willing to engage?

"Do you want to chat about nothing" is a bit mopey and could be anything; "Hiya- really could do with a chat- X has just told me it's definitely over and I'm freaking out over what the hell I do now" is a bit more urgent and to the point? I think if your friends knew it was the latter then they might have been quicker to get in touch.

It's not too late to send that second text you know. xx

Gosh, how heartwrenching for you to have him behave that way. I am flabbergasted at his arrogance and entitlement.

First things first: housing. I'm assuming this is a joint contract, in both of your names. Therefore, he needs to pay his half until the end. No ifs and no buts. He took on the legal responsibility, and he doesn't get to dump it on you. Especially not since he's the one walking away. (If he wants to negotiate early termination with the landlord, then that's up to him, but obviously you need to be a party to those discussions because they affect you too).

Secondly, I think you might need to move. It's so unfair But if you can't afford your current place, I can't see that you have much option. Will you be able to afford another 2-bed place on your own? Are there ways of fitting everything you need into a larger-than-average one bed, which is likely to be cheaper? Can you get help from the council if your contract terminates early?

Thirdly, I think you need to state more clearly to your friends exactly what you need. If I got a text saying someone wanted to 'chat about nothing', I'd assume they were bored and that it wasn't a priority. Rephrase it in terms of need, without apology or digression: 'Hi X, Are you free tonight? I want to speak to you if possible. I am having a terrible time and need to talk to someone.' Most people will jump at a text like that and be on the phone in a shot. (Unless dealing with a crisis of their own).

Finally, you sound like you're very isolated - and working from home, while a practical necessity, is likely to exacerbate that. Are there ways that you can create a local group for socialising in your lunch hour? How about sending a group email to friends arranging a weekly catchup? (Or a fortnightly one with two different groups). Or joining local societies or clubs?

I do wish you well. Feeling lonely is horrible.

I agree don't assume all relationships have to cease

I turn my phone off in the evening so I wouldn't even see a message like that till next morning. I would text back then though,

was listening to radio the other day

there is a company in London that rents out space in a communual office with coffee shop. I think people pay weekly or long term

It has internet, photocopier, fax, phones

It enables people to work in a community instead of at home or out of coffee shops with a laptop

Sorry I cannot remember the name of it, but it may be worth you looking into something similar ?