F*cking DH

[FrivolentDemon]

Yes, he does more than some, but in other areas he's a f*ckin waste of space

Exhausted attempting to fix DS's sleep pattern, ended up up til 4am because I got worked up so couldn't sleep... then slept til 12 (so a plus, a husband who is fine with that). I then had to go out with my mum to help her buy presents for the DC.

Got back a while ago - he had fed them lunch (a bonus), but DS is still in his pjs, DD is naked. He never bothers to dress them unless I hand him clothes.

Just asked when DS was last changed because he was wriggling weird, and he announced not since this morning - he thought I had before I went out. Poor little thing was sore - it turns out he didn't bother changing his night nappy for about an hour after he got up either.

FFS is it really that much to ask to be able to leave the children with him for a day without having to text to remind him to feed them, clean them and change them???

Just once I'd like to get up and find them dressed

Sorry - I know it could be worse, just feeling like I am the only one doing actual parenting - he just babysits (badly)

Message withdrawn

He's now just tried to give them pie for dinner... just pie. No veg, nothing.

I'm sick of this.

When my DH tries to feed the dc, all he does is come in and out of the kitchen saying,

How long does this take
How long does that take
What do I cook it on
Do I use to top oven
Do I use the bottom oven
How many fishfingers/sausages etc.

Then he wonders why I get the arse and do it myself

My X was always like this. It takes me back and realise why he is out of my life and theirs too.I find being on my own I only have myself to blame now!

I'd leave.
Why put up with these useless individuals?

You'd leave ?!

I think that's bit strong....

It's not too much to ask him to look after the kids for a day, BUT if he doesn't do it day in day out like you do then he won't know your routine and he won't be au fait with your standards.

Aw FD.

Sit him down and tell him. He has ears. He will listen. It's not hard to teach children things, so shouldn't be hard to teach a grown man new tricks

Threaten to confiscate his xbox

OK, the nappy's thing is not so good but, really, he's not that bad! A lie-in til 12 and out sans kids with your mum? I think (am prepared to have head bitten off) that a)you're very tired (do sympathise about crappy sleeping child) and b) maybe you're a little control freaky?????????????? Not getting dressed/being naked's alright if they're warm.

I fairly much agree with tinker. Although I will say that sometimes being the one with all the responsibility (although not all the work) and organisation can be wearing sometimes.

My DH does not cook. I always leave food if I am not around at a mealtime. Well a main mealtime - I expect him to be able to do snacks, but he will ask - what shall I give him/her/them and that irks me. I have not had a lay in until 12 since before I got pregnant with DS over 6 years ago. Although by the sounds of the CC you really did need it.

It does seem a little odd that he thinks that children eat just one thing at dinner, i.e. pie without the stuff adults would have with pie. This can be worked on.

The nappy thing is poor - but that can be worked on, too.

In fairness, at least he is trying. If you can manage to grind your teeth and explain calmly what is required - he might just do it!

Why did I write "nappy's"?

You're knackered, it colours everything but yes, he does need to learn not to be so bloody useless. I wouldn't care about the clothes/nakedness either but I would care about being expected to be the responsible adult.

Normally I don't care about the nakedness or anything else! Even the pie I wouldn't care about (its not every day ).

I am exhausted - last night was hell... DS woke at 12.30am - I'd been doing washing at my mum's until about 11.30pm (our machine is broken), so was still up. Fed him, and then was determined that he could sleep in his own cot... cue 1 1/2 hrs of crying child - eventually finished by him waking DD, me waking DH saying (in high pitched gaspy tones) "Hes just crying, he's woken her, I can't get him to sleep, he's crying, I'm broken, I need to just, to just, I gotta go away!!"... I came downstairs, DH came down about 5 mins later, DS asleep, DD wanting a bottle but calm. By that time I was awake and all argh, so stayed up til 4am online. I then took syndol knowing they would help me to sleep (chamomile etc had done sod all). Fed DS at 5am, then didn't really stir until lunchtime (vaguely aware of talking to DD at various bits of the morning ).

On top of that, I think I am very pmt, but without the period ever arriving (b/feeding).

Looked up biorhythms too, and interestingly enough, everything is rock bottom this weekend .

He is a star the rest of the time, we just need some communication - our "discussions" tend to be me yelling at him, him saying nothing, fuming for an hour or so, then all forgotten and nothing actually sorted.

Now, back to the real question... Do I actually like being FrivolantDemon or was I better as Flamesparrow? I always feel like I'm dressed up posh when I change my name - its nice for a while but a bit uncomfortable...

I think you should go back to flame.
I think your dh sounds as bad at organising looking after kids as mine is.
But then I thikn its easier to leave everything in black and white, no room for error or excuse.

And no matter how peed off you are.. you're married to a pirate!!!

Ah. Now I see. If it makes you feel better, my DH (who has buggered off for a rest on the frontline of the global war on terror... ) has in the past referred to looking after his own children as babysitting'... as in "are you leaving me babysitting again?". I think it's only babysitting' when they're not actually yours!

Hey, Flame - sorry you're still having pants sleep. Sympathise muchly. Don't sweat the petty things though, lovely - just join me in dreaming of a full night's sleep. Lots of love x x x

change back to flame, or something vaguely flamey ....how will we ever know who you are????

Definitely go back to Flame.

Everything else is you being sleep deprived and him being...well, him. Alot of men are the same (dd2 slept in her clothes when I went on the meet up, and was still in them at lunchtime the next day when he picked me up, after the 7 yr old had made them both breakfast because he was still asleep)

I've come to the conclusion you just accept that he may do things differently, and keep sending those texts so he doesn't forget to feed them.

Back to me... And now pondering if I'm not sweating the petty things, can I pet the sweaty ones?? (Thinking pirates again )

Out this evening babysitting for Psycho - hoping to get him online to talk to him - he can't not respond then . He can do DS tonight (it works better), and hopefully things will improve!!! (Ever the optimist )

Day out tomorrow without him so h gets a break and hopefully we can be all happy again

Welcome back.

I always have all my serious conversations with dp by phone, so online would probably work.

Having a bit of a tiff tonight with Mr high and bloody mighty....When dcs crying, moaning, needing nappy change will he summon up enough energy to say YOUR DD or DS are needing whatever.
My dcs are only mine when they need something which as many of you know is 24/7 so all rosy in my household.

LOL flamey I thought it might be you from another thread but was a little surprised at the demon!

I have now tried calling home a few times but no answer - dunno if he is with screaming child or ignoring me

Feeling horrible now - I was a bitch to him

You are allowed flamey and frankly we all get like this from time to time. I know someone that always says when I apologise for this kind of thing "I love all of you even the bitch and even your grumpy parts".