Anyone out there ?

[Humansatnav]

Long story short, dh has walked out. He has been unhappy for a long time,, he has depression and is generally frustrated by life. Out for a couple of Birthday drinks tonight and he started with the usual. Came home and hes gone. I feel number

I'm a bit shell shocked. We're meeting tomorrow to talk. We havnt had any contact since he left yesterday.

I would probably take the tack of "Since you say me and your daughter are making you so unhappy, the fairest thing for all of us is to be apart. You'll feel so much better then."

Don't agree to anything financial at this stage. Are you able to keep up on the mortgage without him contributing anything to the house/child maintenance?

Bear in mind you own the UK home and the holiday home jointly. So in the event of divorce you would probably be looking at a 50/50 split of the value of both. That might mean selling the home in Spain in order that you then buy him out of the UK house. But you must see a solicitor to get proper financial advice.

Remember that your DD of course loves her dad; children are "programmed" to love their parents by default. They do not have the defence mechanisms we develop as adults to warn us away from abusive people. She will flourish without him in her life.

Finally got some sleep last night. Heads whirling though. Feel sick all the time. Bollocks, this is really my life now.

I'm glad you got some rest. Yes, this is your life now but it will improve over the weeks and months to come.

How are your DC holding up?

I hope your talk goes well. Wishing you strength.

My thoughts are with you; good luck and stay firm

Please tell me your not bank rolling the hotel. Start protecting your finances and get legal advice. He can fly to Spain cheaply enough and has accommodation there. If life in Spain is so good then he needs to go.

No, not bankrolling anything. Big talk after 2 days apart. Decided on a trial separation. I need space, he needs help , Dd needs peace. He did take full responsibility for his actions. Feel sick/ relieved at the same time. Time to stand on my own 2 feet.