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Original poster

DH just grabbed his phone off me..

58 replies

Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:34

So, the football is on and my phone is out of battery. iPad gone missing so I said to DH that I would use his phone to browse. We know each others passcodes, leave phones lying around etc. However, he jumped up, all panicked and grabbed the phone off me, saying he needed to send an email. (??) I was like wtf?

Then he backtracked and said he was getting me a present he didn't want me see. Rubbish, it's not my birthday. I went mad and stormed upstairs saying he needed to come up with something better than that. He followed me and then said he was planning to take me away in September. I just don't believe him. I could just tell he was lying. I am now sulking in the bedroom. I am assuming porn or another woman? No history of suspicious behaviour. Doesn't stay out late.

I don't know how to find out why he was so panicked and I don't just want to sweep this under the carpet. What do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:04

Also he bought me a voucher for Rigby and Peller underwear for Christmas which I have yet to spend so I doubt it is that.

OP posts:
00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:05

Ask things like.... Should u check my passport? And things like "we better do a holiday shop then, I'm so excited! Are we packing for sun? Sea?"

00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:06

And sknfor dates so you can book them off work!

00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:06

Ask*

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:07

There is no way we are going away in September. We are away on a family holiday last week in August and about to start major building work. Both sets of grandparents are away then so no babysitters. No spare cash at the moment. I just don't believe him.

OP posts:
BlueberryWafer · 14/08/2015 22:08

Yesterday I searched "large sore spot next to vagina" and didn't particularly want DP to see, so I probably would have snatched my phone away too! Why do you check his internet history? If porn is a problem for you then discuss it with him. If he's got half a brain he will delete the porn sites anyway! I think the issue lies more with your trust than him tbh.

00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:10

Well this is it, he's fibbing, so ask for details as if you believe him, and see what crap he comes up with.

Ask him what dates you need to book off for work!

00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:11

And then when he says "its just a weekend" ask him who is looking after the kids

00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:13

The when he says "I'll sort it, don't worry" say "OK, what are we telling the children?"

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:13

Agreed I need to discuss it with him but I don't think he will admit to looking at porn at 6.30 in the evening whilst he is supposed to be supervising the kids. I trust that there is no other woman so I am guessing porn.

I have brought it up with him before and he said he just had a quick look whilst he was away travelling. I also caught him looking (and more) in the bedroom once. I am really not sure what I can do to tackle this.

OP posts:
BifsWif · 14/08/2015 22:14

If it was porn, would he lie? Do you have a problem with it?

If you have no problem with porn it's likely to be texts to another woman.

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:14

I will try all that regarding the weekend away. No doubt he'll backtrack. Worth a try to catch him out though.

OP posts:
00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:15

Give him one last opportunity's to tell the truth (after grilling him for holiday info!)

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:16

I'd prefer he didn't look at porn when he is supposed to be looking after the children. I'd prefer he didn't look full stop but the odd time I wouldn't mind. I suspect it's quite often though.

OP posts:
00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:16

If he back tracks and says something different again. Then you can confront him and say "look, it seems like you're lying to me. Just tell me the truth and we can then sort this out"

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:25

Ok, so he has shown me a search for a hotel in Oxford. He said he thought it would be nice for us to go away as our anniversary is coming up. The underwear he claims is agent provocateur, he claims a pop up of dodgy leather underwear came up and he didn't want me to see. I guess I'll have to see if the weekend happens. Had a chat about porn and he swears he wasn't looking at porn...

OP posts:
BlueberryWafer · 14/08/2015 22:26

Oh sorry I didn't see that he was supposed to be looking after the children, now I understand your point about the porn.
Glad you sorted it out.

Tucktalking · 14/08/2015 22:29

A clever trick. Say nothing. Next time you come in discretely get his phone without any announcements. If he acts that way again he is up to something. Give it some time. Be patient and act as if it doesn't matter.
Else just look him in the eye and say I know all the truth. No more excuses. He may confess. Ha ha...

goddessofsmallthings · 14/08/2015 22:33

Of course he was looking at porn.

He's lied through his teeth because he knows that's totally unacceptable while he's looking after the dc and he doesn't want to admit to being a skank who's addicted to porn.

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:35

I get that but I can't prove it and he won't admit it!

OP posts:
smink · 14/08/2015 22:35

Tell him you are looking forwards to the hotel, the underwear and him organising child care.

...and watch him

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:36

I think that is all I can do. Then if none of it happens....

OP posts:
smink · 14/08/2015 22:39

So milk it for a holiday.
Might teach him to be more carefulabout his porn habit although I did like the idea that he had been looking at poem sites as you said upthread. Poems! The filthy bastard

itaintmebabe · 14/08/2015 22:41

Check what apps he's installed but then deleted. If he's got any dodgy messaging ones he probably always normally delete them when he's around you.

Has he got an iPhone? Go to App Store -> Updates -> Purchased. All the apps he's ever downloaded are listed there.

TRexingInAsda · 14/08/2015 22:42

From that much of an overreaction, I would assume another woman. Has he ever taken you away as a surprise before? I would think the hotel search was for somewhere to go to shag the other woman tbh, which is why he hasn't mentioned going away with you in Sept.