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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So so so proud of DS after letter from girls mother

69 replies

zas1 · 14/08/2015 00:31

Maybe the wrong location but here goes anyway. My DS is no doubt like many of the lovely DSs here a wonderful kindhearted and well adjusted young man, made all the more remarkable by the fact his father whom I finally divorced when DS wa 6 was/is a violent aggressive sexist bully with a full on sense of entitlement. I can't take all the credit as DS has made his own way and is 22 and at uni now. I just got the loveliest letter attached to an email from the mother of a girl whom DS tutored for significant periods over Easter and before for her A Levels. This girl who is the daughter of my friend has had a truly horrible time recently as it transpired she was abused as a child by a relative while abroad and since has had a long history of self harming, behavioural issues and unsurprisingly issues relating to men. So ok firstly the girl got a rare A star in her French paper which has her into her first choice uni but what really has.choked me up is what the Mum wrote about how kind my DS was to her and patient and how she has gone from being unable to be in the same room as another man to being on some part of the road to normality and how the Mum sees the kindness and ability to put someone at their ease of DS as being central to this. He is such a gentle goodhearted soul and I'm so very proud of him today and always. He knows about the grade but not about the letter. I just thought to share this.

OP posts:
LostMyBaubles · 14/08/2015 09:46

Ahh Flowers I have 3 boys (all under5)and hope they turn out as lovely as your ds!

This should be on one of emails mn send round! Spread a bit of love Grin

sexybeast · 14/08/2015 09:46

Excellent :) Well done to both you and you son for being great xx

CadleCrap · 14/08/2015 09:51

How wonderful.

Not only is your DS a beautiful person, but so is the Mum of the girl. How often do we think " oh I must thank such and such for something or other" and never do. It must have been a hard letter for her to write but for your (deserved) feeling of pride it was worth it. How we underestimate the value of saying thank you!

Off to send the parcel I have been meaning to do for ages as I know the recipient will be truly grateful and surprised.

Well, done OP and congratulations on teaching DS to be a gent.

mojo17 · 14/08/2015 09:55

Thank you for this post zas. Confirmation that you are in fact doing or have done a good job raising your children can only be a good thing
I too am a single parent going through a tough time at the moment and wondering how my dcs are with others as they can be just awful to me sometimes and only last week a woman approached me asking if I was xxx's mum because she was so impressed with how he was talking with two very young boys playing football on the beach and how proud I must be of him.
I think we do get so bogged down with the day to day 'managing' dcs ie behaviours, expectations, homework, mealtimes, manners that sometimes we forget to just enjoy them and appreciate them as themselves, and just well I dunno take a break from parenting them
Give him a great big hug when you see him m next

PandaMummyofOne · 14/08/2015 09:59

Faith in humanity restored this morning. Well done to both your DS and you.

ShipShapeAhoy · 14/08/2015 10:07

Well done to you and your son. He sounds like an absolute credit to you.

bridie69 · 14/08/2015 11:01

What a wonderful heartwarming thing to read. What a lovely feeling for a mother to raise such a sensitive kind intelligent young man who clearly respects women. An acquaintance of mines DD was attacked by a man she trusted while she was at university and has been in a terrible state since. She also has very great difficulty being around men and is worried about her working prospects now she has graduated. I pray she encounters someone like your son to heal her..

paulapompom · 14/08/2015 12:10

Inspiring on so many levels. My hayfever must be back, eyes are watering WinkWine Cheers x

jezestbelle · 14/08/2015 15:59

Just wanted to add my voice. Utterly lovely and a tear or two in my eyes. What a lovely thing for a mother to hear. Will you tell him.about the letter?

MarieJeanne · 14/08/2015 16:03

How lovely, thank you for sharing this. You must be so proud and with good reason.

flamingtoaster · 14/08/2015 16:06

What a lovely young man your DS is - well done to him and to you too.

Ahemily · 14/08/2015 16:28

What a beautiful thread Smile

bobble293 · 14/08/2015 16:28

Wonderful! I used to (attempt to) teach some of the coarsest specimens of male youth in college and in a prison. I'd not have wanted them in the same town as my granddaughter. Your son, on the other hand... Joking aside, he's a little too old, but sounds otherwise perfect.

TheVeryThing · 14/08/2015 16:30

How lovely, you must be so proud of him. I hope I do as good a job with my two boys.

zas1 · 14/08/2015 16:46

I wasn't planning on telling him unless he goes through a low patch at some point-he has had some depression in the past. So happy to get such lovelyresponses though. It was very very hard being a SM under difficult circumstances but love it seems does conquer all. .

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 14/08/2015 16:54

tell him !

supersop60 · 14/08/2015 18:17

That is lovely! Well done to your son and to his tutee!
We want our children to be happy and to be good people - he sounds like good people to me!
One of the greatest things a teacher has said to me about my ds is 'he's a good lad'. That meant more to me than all the good grades etc (which he also got)

jezestbelle · 14/08/2015 18:45

Give him a massive hug from me. This has had me smiling all day from ear to ear

yummytummy · 14/08/2015 18:51

Op you and your ds sound amazing well done to you both. Your post gives me so much hope as i too have a young ds and am divorcing a very unpleasant abusive in all ways man. I too worry so much how i will manage as a single parent so its amazing to hear how it can turn out ok if not so much better than ok. I hope your ds always brings you much happiness. Thankyou for posting x

chaiselounger · 14/08/2015 18:56

What a lovely thing.
Why would you not tell your son OP? You plan to tell him if later he is a bit down, but please tell him asap. He should know.

Doobydoo · 14/08/2015 19:05

Lot of blinking going on here......How marvellous and lovely.Thank you for sharing this.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 14/08/2015 19:08

How lovely! He sounds like a lovely young man, and you deserve plenty of credit for doing such a good job.

And yes, do tell him!

BitOutOfPractice · 14/08/2015 19:08

Oh I'm so choked. He sounds like a wonderful young man.

zas1 · 14/08/2015 19:21

yummytummy your post is EXACTLY why I posted this. Why have I not told DS? Well I spose I thought he's in a good place now so I thought it might mean more when he maybe isn't so great. I am now reconsidering!

OP posts:
Sixweekstowait · 14/08/2015 19:45

Oh yes tell him - make his good place even better

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