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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can I be hypnotized to get over my H affair?

19 replies

2la82turn1987 · 13/08/2015 23:47

Seems like a joke but is it possible?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 13/08/2015 23:54

personally? I think that is a ridiculous idea

however, you might be better to keep all your posts about your husbands affair together on your main support thread rather than starting lots of random new ones

DPotter · 14/08/2015 00:04

I've had hypnotherapy and was told by the hypnotherapist can't make you do something you wouldn't have done by yourself. Sadly hypnotherapy didn't work for me....but that's another story. Sorry you're hurting

maccapacwac · 14/08/2015 00:06

I've done it! Hypnotherapy, when a relationship with serious boyfriend wasn't going well and causing me lots of angst as he was a manipulative f**ker but I was so in love I couldn't see sense. He was training to he a hypnotherapist so that got me interested in it and as I remember he probably encouraged me to go...
I think I had 2/3 sessions, pulled someone else days later at a party then ditched him a couple of days after that. I always remember that hypnotherapist fondly and credit him with helping me ditch the freeloading cock lodger. I only regret I didn't leave his possessions on the doorstep.
I think it's pretty good actually as it can help give u clarity on a situation that perhaps you're not consciously willing to get clarity on iyswim?

maccapacwac · 14/08/2015 00:07

So yes I would recommend it!

Smilingforth · 14/08/2015 05:36

I would suggest you do lots of research ( and not just on MN) before doing this. It's not a traditional path and may be great but does sound some warning signs to me.

DorisDazzler · 14/08/2015 11:10

I've read your other threads . You sound traumatized and I'm not surprised. Discovering infidelity is traumatic , as is experiencing health problems in a new born. I wonder if you are experiencing ptsd symptoms. Emdr therapy is excellent for dealing with stuck trauma , but personally I would try to get through this without hypnotherapy or similar.

I'm familiar with the obsessing and intense pain. It's completely normal at six months. Your feelings and reactions are completely normal. These feelings are horrible but they are telling you something very important. It's really not wise to try to sweep them under the carpet with hypnotherapy. They need to be experienced and processed. None of this is your fault.

What is he doing to help you ?

RonaldosAbs · 14/08/2015 11:39

Instead of hypnotherapy, look into EMDR therapy with a psychotherapist. You will be able to find one on google, they must be qualified specifically in it so ask the psychotherapists you find.

If you're traumatized, that is what you need, it's the most effective therapy for any sort of trauma/PTSD type problems. It is really, really brilliant.

sanityforlunch · 14/08/2015 12:09

I thought it sounded like a good idea when I read your thread title. Sometimes you just need to get away from all the thoughts in your head especially if it has been some time and you need the headspace to get on with your life.

ScrambledSmegs · 14/08/2015 14:56

To be honest after what he did I don't know if anything as mild as hypnotherapy would work. You'd need a lobotomy.

For your marriage to have any chance of recovery it has to come from him. He can say he's sorry all he wants, but what is he doing to help you recover, to rebuild what he destroyed?

LadyBlaBlah · 14/08/2015 15:00

I've not read your other threads but seriously what man is worth this sort of angst?
You shouldn't need to be hypnotised to be in the same room as your husband.
Like really.

I despair.

ScrambledSmegs · 14/08/2015 15:04

Link to first thread.

This is more than 'just' a simple betrayal, which is why I don't think hypnotherapy would even touch the edge of this hurt. In some circumstances it could obviously help to clarify matters and think things through, but I doubt it could do much more than that.

DarkNavyBlue · 14/08/2015 15:39

No.

gildedcage · 14/08/2015 16:41

Sadly there will be no easy fix to make all this feel better. Hypnotherapy may be able to help with intrusive thoughts etc, however as someone further up the thread stated you are in a grieving process for the relationship and husband you thought that you had and therefore the future you had planned. You will need to work through all of your feelings and this will take time.

I would recommend counselling for you to help process those feelings. Remember its ok for you to feel angry, its a totally natural emotional and shouldn't be repressed simply to ease the conscious of others.

Frankly though with the barest of information from your other thread I don't think I would want to move onward with a human being as feckless as your dh. I feel for you Sad

KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable · 14/08/2015 17:44

Why would you want to do that?

notrocketscience · 14/08/2015 21:39

I read the link to your first thread before posting here.

There are techniques within hypnotherapy that could get you through this initial trauma but they are a temporary measure. Basically isolating the trauma for a while until such time you are able to face it and work through the painful emotions.

EMDR would be more effective for you. You don't forget what happened but the link to the painful emotions is broken enabling you to think clearly and move on with your life.

FWIT you will never forget what he did at such a crucial time for you and your child. Such a betrayal. Now you know, if you were all in a sinking boat he would climb over you and your child to save himself.

Walk away my lovely.

maccapacwac · 15/08/2015 17:15

I've just read your other thread and I don't see why hypnotherapy wouldn't help - I still think it's a good idea. It won't save your marriage though, it will help you see sense, clarify what you really want and move on. It sounds as though your reasons for saving the marriage are negative rather than positive iyswim? I don't know anything about emdr so I couldn't say which is better.
I really rated the guy I saw, based inEssex so PM me if you would like his details.
I wonder though, if hypnotherapy is a bit too 'quick fix' and you might be better with something longer term? It depends if you want a quick sticking plaster that ideally works straight away or something that gets to the root ( I think that's right that hypnotherapy is a quick fix, if it works !)
How is your baby now btw?

Smilingforth · 15/08/2015 22:48

I don't know enough about hypnotherapy but please do lots of research before you decide this is the right way.

maccapacwac · 15/08/2015 22:58

Definitely do lots of research. I think I'm a chicken now, but at least I dumped the boyfriend.

Smilingforth · 15/08/2015 23:18

It will be right for some no doubt but for the majority I expect it will be a step too fat

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