Im a bit numb at the moment and not sure where to turn. My husband of 11 years has decided to end our relationship and move out. We have two beautiful children ages 8 and 6. We moved to Norfolk from London a year ago for his job, i had to quit mine but we decided me staying at home would be a good choice as i wanted more time with the children after missing out on so much and he encouraged this choice, it was a really big step as we had no family or friends here, i found a job working with children just 2 hours a day which helped go towards the bilss but was really just so i could keep busy. We are very happy here we bought a lovely house and our quality of life is much better than before and i thought we were happy. It became apparent a couple of months ago that he was not getting on with his boss - he hates to talk about work with me so i dont know the details, always says he needs to switch off when he gets home.
He came to me and said he had been offered a job back in london that was too good of an opportunity to turn down, it was a lot more money and he said it was only monday to friday so he could come home on the weekends, after much talk i agreed he needed to be happy in his job and if this was what he needed to do i would support it as long as he came home at the weekends.
He found a room to let and has been there for two months, hes been distant so i put this down to being away from us for a week at a time. The last month he says to make a good impression he has had to stay and work weekends which was not great but i had to be ok with this. Last week i going through our bank statements i found £50 spent on flowers, i casually mentioned this to him but he said they were for a client and i didn't make a fuss and laughed off my suspicion and joked because he never buys me flowers as he doesn't agree with money being spent on them. Hes been rushing through our phone call in the evening because he has to take out clients for dinners - i would understand this but he been going out alot and the frequency doesn't fit with the norm of his job. i realise i must be sounding like a jealous wife and i guess i was being but i didn't voice this to him just silently had the arguments in my head.
We have been happy no real arguments at all - my suspicions surfaced because he has been unfaithful before something he would never admit to but i had all the evidence, i did decided to stay with him because i loved him and wanted to try for the children.
So last friday he sends me a txt message (i know, coward after 11 years a text msg) completely out of the blue saying he just not happy anymore and wants to move out, i was numb with shock and then angry when he wouldn't answer the phone. He just sent me more messages telling me there was no point talking..i mean how am i supposed to know what i've done wrong!!! i tried to access his online banking (i do this all the time so i can transfer money to my account as all the household bills come out of my account) but he had changed the passwords. i messaged him to ask him to put the money for the bills into my account as they had already come out and i was going into my overdraft. mine and his savings stay in his (i know stupid mistake on my part but its been this way 11 years). He said he was not going to transfer money because he needed to save to find somewhere of his own to live and that i needed to seek advice on claiming benefits. im honestly at a loss, im heartbrken and im so angry now all the tears have gone, i save them for bedtime :( i have no family or good friends here and im embarrassed to call them. i guess im hoping he having some sort of mid life crisis and will change his mind and that really he has not been cheating on me.